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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Smellly Lodger.

52 replies

IthinkAIBUalot · Today 15:41

Two months ago, I got a lodger. The room was freshly decorated a few days before he moved in. It had furniture for him to use, but no mattress—since I’d just finished decorating, he said he'd buy one he liked, which was great.
He's out most of the time; he spends from dawn to dusk in the pub he works in, and even when he isn't working, he’s drinking there. He comes home at about 1 a.m. and always buys a takeaway. He hasn't cooked a single thing since he moved in (he has never bought any food, apart from a single Pot Noodle). Fine, I'm not bothered by this—he can do what he wants. He's always quiet, so no problems there. The rest of the time he's in his room, quietly on his computer, which is great for me.

However, to me, there is a MAJOR issue.

The first few nights, he slept on the sofa in the living room until he bought his mattress. It stank to high heaven after each night, so I had to wash the cover and pillows both times. I let it slide.

Fast forward three weeks, and his room is stinking so much that I have to keep all the windows in the house open to get rid of the stench seeping into the whole house—even though he keeps his door closed 24/7. I told him to fix the stench, so all he did was keep his window open 24/7. That day, he did laundry for the first time (a single drum load) and used half a bottle of detergent on it. Afterwards, while drying, it stank to high heaven; even outside, the smell was vomit-inducing. It was a mix of sweat, bacteria, and tons of cologne he uses to cover his stink.

Since the day he moved in, he's had a shower about once every five or six days. His stench of stale sweat was so bad one night after he rolled in from the pub that I told him he stank. He went and showered, then laughed it off by saying, "I know I'm a smelly boy, please tell me things like this." I'm not his damn parent—he's 35, for God's sake. Why should I take responsibility for him keeping himself, his clothes, and his room fresh? He knows he stinks.

Fast forward to this week, two months in: his room still stinks to high heaven. He's done one more single load of washing, which again stank to high heaven while drying (I could see the neighbours wincing at the smell wafting into their house). I felt so embarrassed.

A few times I've had to hold my nose to go into the absolute pigsty his room now is to close the window when I'm going out and he hasn't closed it. Dirty and washed clothes; all stink as bad as each other. Even when he leaves a location, his stench remains.

So what should I do?

  1. Set ground rules: Tell him to wash his clothes, bedding, and towels at least once a week (separately) and get rid of the bacteria/mould with white vinegar and bicarb.
  2. Tell him to get the hell out of my house with zero notice: His stench is just too much.
  3. Give him notice: In the agreement I drew up, I laid out two weeks' notice unless he breaks the terms of the agreement (which he has, by stinking up my entire house).
OP posts:
Narrator1 · Today 21:46

Absolutely pissing myself at these earnest replies to a very obviously made up situation.

idontknowhowtodreamyourdreams · Today 22:02

Excited101 · Today 15:53

Give him notice. Don’t live like that- it’s revolting and hugely disrespectful that he’s not even trying to do better. I’d be expecting much more from an 18 year old, let alone 35!

if you were feeling very charitable, you could try the ‘you commented about being smelly, it’s become a big issue in the house, I can help support you if you want to change that, but you’ll need to fully work with me on it’ approach… or you can see it as not your problem and send him on his way. Totally your call.

I agree with @Excited101

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