“You will always love the mother / father of your children”

[PuppyPicker]

AIBU to say this isnt true? I’ve heard it said a lot but I don’t think it’s true. What about abusive relationships or people that had a child from casual relationships / ONS. Do you think theres truth to this statement?

Of course not

I’ve heard the saying plenty of times, including on here. It’s used against step mums, “he’ll always love her as the mother of his kids” or variations. You’re not going mad OP and you’re getting some weirdly defensive comments.

This has turned into one of those threads with posters falling over themselves to claim they’ve never heard it.

No. I wouldn't give a second thought if he disappeared for good.

It’s bullshit. If DH and I split up for any reason and he continued being an amazing involved Dad to our DS then sure, I can see that I’d still respect / love that, but for the dickheads like my own Dad who walked out without a backward glance, of course not. I don’t love him (or like him, or would piss on him if he were ablaze) so I certainly don’t think my Mum does 42 years on.

I'm widowed, I will always love my LateDH as the father of my children. Without him, I wouldn't have them.
I might perhaps feel differently if our relationship had ended in some other way.

Complete and utter bollocks.
Type of thing some Cosmo' Journo would dream up to write an article about, including 3 thirty something women and 1 man to validate.
Daily Fail still do this.

Nope, he's a complete twat

Nope, he had his parental rights removed and abused me every way possible. I’ve heard the saying many times on here and in RL, no I don’t love him and didn’t for 3 years before I left. You see it trotted out quite a lot on here when step parents are involved.

Never heard that, ever. As it’s obviously the biggest piece of bullshit anyone has ever made up.

Only heard it from abusive ex after we split. I grey rocked it.

@Meadowfinch it’s true you can have less to do with them after 18, but they still tend to pop up on occasion. I’ve done quite well and only seen ex a handful of times in 15 odd years but I will have to see him if child gets married. Can’t imagine his narcissistic arse being willing to miss out on such a rich source of supply!

I hate my ex husband , 2 kids together

I've heard it. From people that just aren't over their ex. "She's the mother of my children, I'll always love her." Yeah she dumped you because you're a shit and if she let you you'd go running back in a heartbeat.

Some people have a healthy seperation though.

I hate the man, he is the biggest mistake of my life and giving my son him as a father is a guilt I will never let go of.

I mean - ive heard it from my sisterinlaw who is now divorced, but says she would always love him as the father of her children etc (theyve both moved on tho) - they have a really good relationship (all 4 of them) and the kids are thriving so for her - i guess she means it and it works etc?

Not really, I think hopefully you’ll remember there were good times, because I think it’s nice for the kids to know they were part of something that had you content and happy but sadly I think when the love is gone that’s it. Just hopefully for the kids you’re not bitter and angry