“You will always love the mother / father of your children”

[PuppyPicker]

AIBU to say this isnt true? I’ve heard it said a lot but I don’t think it’s true. What about abusive relationships or people that had a child from casual relationships / ONS. Do you think theres truth to this statement?

Absolutely not, I can't stand the father of mine. Yuk!

I do.I'm 100% not in love with my ex and the thought of ever having sex with him gives me the ick BUT I do love him and will always have his back .we co parent well and he even comes foe xmas dinner, family birthdays etc ...we split up 9 years ago but I still have the upmost respect for him and that will never change.

So you’ve heard of it then? As this thread is filled with people saying they’ve never heard of it

I’ve heard this kind of sentiment before, but more in the sense of people who had children within a loving relationship and both were decent parents.

If DH and I were ever to split up, I can imagine I’d always have love for him purely as DD’s father. We went through an awful lot together to have her, and he’s a bloody brilliant dad who DD adores. I happen to love him anyway, but there would always be some love there purely because of that even if I didn’t love him romantically.

Same with my in laws - I have a friendly but somewhat baffled/ frustrated relationship with them. They’re kind people but not the easiest people and before DD I wouldn’t have said I loved them. I think I do now, more as an extension of how much DD loves them and how important I can see that relationship is, and I’m so happy that she has it and that they give her that (my parents are no longer with us so she doesn’t have it on my side) so I’d probably say I do love them, or that aspect of them now.

Yeah, I thought it was a common phrase. So what if it's not? Now they've heard of it.

It's the biggest load of bull I've seen on here all day. My ex is a cunt, there is not one iota of love, like or respect.

My parents divorced when I was about 5 (he had affairs, feckless etc) and when I was around 30 my DF told me he would always love my DM. He had been married to his second wife for about a decade at this point.

When DM was dying he was a frequent visitor too and goodness knows what his second wife thought of him visiting every day; we are NC as she is very unpleasant but I did feel sorry for her.

God no!

I have love for him. It's not an in love or want to be with him thing.

So did I! Must be one of those mumsnet things

I get what you mean - in the sense that without him, she wouldn’t have the children. I’ve never heard the saying but this sort of makes sense.

Definitely not

Absolutely not

The actual saying is that you always love your children no matter how you feel about the other parent.

I don't agree with that either tbf

Er no!!

Perhaps if he hadn’t have been a knobhead of a father to DS, then maybe I would have liked him, but nope he couldn’t do that!

I've certainly heard variants of this phrase. On MN I've seen women say that their ex should respect them as they are the mother of his children. Personally I think it's all a bit simplistic. Clearly it's best if you can coparent respectfully and amicably, but real life can be complicated and it's not always easy to respect somebody who has persistently behaved very badly towards you.

Never heard the saying and I can't stand my twat of an ex.

It’s on the same lines as “you’ll always love your first love”

No never heard that 🤷‍♀️

Probably because you've confused it with your one

No! I can’t wait until my children are 18 & I don’t have to have contact anymore. My daughter is doing her driving test in September & I hope she passes, not least because it means I have to have less contact.

I can’t remember loving DDs dad (although I must have done) he’s like an extremely casual acquaintance now. Like someone I say hello to if i see him. (About once every 5 years)

Who possibly thinks this is true?!

How is it common if nobody here except you has heard it?