Please help me, im at my wits end. I had my first dc 5 years. Since I've been a sahm me and dd have always been close, I would devote everything to her and we would have constant outings. However the past couple of years have been hard and testing for me. I'm find dd increasingly hard to be around, currently writing this hiding away upstairs from her.
Dd has always been advanced and independent from a young age. She is very strong willed and hard headed. This has meant personality wise she has not been easy to deal with. However I have noticed it extends beyond her occasional hysteria breakdowns. She doesn't respond well to no and will sometimes scream, slam doors, scratch/bite, punch or kick. She's quite tall for her age and I am quite short and she can hurt me. As well a this she has gained these sort of "ticks" I would call them. Sometimes it is sniffing, or constant yawning. Recently it has manifested into crude words. She will constantly randomly shout genitalia out loud, even in public, and its so embarrassing for me.
The new thing now is this weird laughing. I noticed it the other day when we where in the supermarket. Its not a normal laughter, like a forced bhahaha kind of laugh. She did it all the way through the shops and I kept getting stared at. She has done it all today again in the shops and it has continued at home. The more she does it the more it gets under my skin and drives me crazy until I have to leave the room. I have asked her why she is laughing and she just says she doesn't know why and cant control it. Its the same with the impulsive rude word calling out. She says she doesn't even realise when she says it and doesn't know why. What started off as me thinking she was just coping rude words she learnt at school from the other kids (they all do toilet humour there) has gotten way out of control to the point now were I don't know if it's habitual or something more.
She also hair chews, horrendously. Until her hair is drenched and matted. I've bought her some chewlrey to try and help.
I miss my daughter. I'm at my wits end with her behaviour. I don't recognise or understand her anymore. I try to have talks to see if she is anxious, upset, what's going on in her mind. Most of the time she doesn't even understand herself. I'm starting to despair and wonder if this is all normal? I know young children especially can seek sensory comfort and that it isnt unheard to a certain degree but this all feels a bit much. She also has started this new thing where she will only wear the same clothes over and over again and has to wear socks to bed. Again, this is all harmless but is it just normal kid stuff and if so why am I struggle so much and feeling so distant from her because of it. Its eating away at me with the guilt.....