To let grandparents take 9yo on cruise

[irishchick93]

Ahh. Im at a loss. My in-laws go cruising every summer x 1 week. Next years is getting booked we cant afford to go. We have younger child age 3 aswell. We will just do local holidays like always. They are practically begging to take DD who will be 9 and has never been abroad.

HOWEVER, due to family dynamics. DH tricky relationship with his mother he wont allow her to go. Its more dear FIL is looking to bring her.

Im on the fence. Im nervous as shes never been before so dont know. Her grandfather will look after her very well and there are other people going who she will know, not very well but friends of the family and kids similar ages.

I dont fully trust MIL to watch her and FIL would know this but i dont see how he can never leave her side for a full week.

FIL often provides childcare, MIL not so much. Would he known for being a bit unhinged.

Basically AIBU to not send her? I feel like she would love it and i dont want my anxieties to.hold her back but am i doing her a disservice as her mother knowing that MIL will be enivitably watching her some of the time and the fact that I dont even trust her at home alone woth the kids.

Sorry for the speel

You cannot send her. Even your DH isn't happy with his mother.

I guess if you go on the kind of cruise which is full of sea days - the ones I’ve looked at stop at a different port every day. I always think they look quite tiring and don’t get why they are seen as a holiday for ‘older people’.

@Shinyhappyapple Some peoole stay on the boat in port! And when we ads older, do not assume everyone has no energy! I go small ship cruising and we are busy every day! Full Programme of walking, sightseeing and zodiac cruising!

If you trust DFIL to hold the same standards that you do. I find the idea of children on cruises stressful, doesn't appeal to me. Stranger danger/water etc. Really it's something you need to figure out as we don't know these people or how sensible DD is or how crazy MIL is.

Sorry I don't understand this : Would he known for being a bit unhinged.

Either way the answer would be no from me. Your fil cannot watch her the whole time, I would be nervous that he would have to go to the loo etc and ask mil to keep and eye on her in the pool etc and she doesn't. Cruises ships pools are very busy and there have been cases of kids drowning in pools because they are so busy no one notices.

I’m thinking of myself with the reduced energy! No offence meant to anyone else. The cruise I fancy is Baltic cities. Maybe next year.

It’s no different to an attentive grandmother and inattentive grandfather just with roles reversed.
If she is close to her DGP’s and have spent the night in the past, then I’d let her go if she’s a sensible 9 y.o.
How did feckless MIL manage to raise DH. Has he other siblings too?

I would want my child to have that opened would talk my DH into it

@Shinyhappyapple The cruise line we use, 100 passengers, is doing Baltic in 2028. We have booked - 2027 is full.

Seriously if your husband doesn’t trust his mum don’t let her go!