To let grandparents take 9yo on cruise

[irishchick93]

Ahh. Im at a loss. My in-laws go cruising every summer x 1 week. Next years is getting booked we cant afford to go. We have younger child age 3 aswell. We will just do local holidays like always. They are practically begging to take DD who will be 9 and has never been abroad.

HOWEVER, due to family dynamics. DH tricky relationship with his mother he wont allow her to go. Its more dear FIL is looking to bring her.

Im on the fence. Im nervous as shes never been before so dont know. Her grandfather will look after her very well and there are other people going who she will know, not very well but friends of the family and kids similar ages.

I dont fully trust MIL to watch her and FIL would know this but i dont see how he can never leave her side for a full week.

FIL often provides childcare, MIL not so much. Would he known for being a bit unhinged.

Basically AIBU to not send her? I feel like she would love it and i dont want my anxieties to.hold her back but am i doing her a disservice as her mother knowing that MIL will be enivitably watching her some of the time and the fact that I dont even trust her at home alone woth the kids.

Sorry for the speel

Now look, I have never been on a cruise. So I am no authority. But this description doesn’t fit the accounts I have had from a good friend who LOVES cruising. It doesn’t sound oppressive.
but hey - I have never been because the prices when I can go (peak times) are sky high. My friend cruises outside of peak times on great deals. Someone who knows more than me may jump in here.

Yeah totally, the water slides, free kids club, Lego pop ups, mascots, kids competitions and special kids buffet areas, arcades and cinema screenings were RAMMED with…..kids…. Not old people. I’ve always seen LOADS of kids on cruises because oddly, plenty of them are aimed at kids and families. And they might not be up your street but plenty of people love it.

Go with them, 9 is the absolute perfect age for Royal Caribbean.

Yabu to let her go.

Yanbu to keep her with you...

🤣😆🤣😆🤣😆🤣

How to say you’ve never been on a family friendly cruise without actually saying it.

Tell me you've never been on a cruise ...

Have you seen some of the cruise ships? Children love them as there are kids clubs with activities all day not to mention the pool, waterpark, climbing ropes, go karting, tenpin bowling, unlimited snacks, drinks, ice cream etc.

Have you actually been on a cruise.do you think it is only octogenarians who go on Disney cruises.
There are 2000 lbq on a virgin cruise in Turkey at the moment.why do cruises have kids clubs.i hate massive generalisations

Say no. If you can't guarantee that she will be properly supervised on the ship, it isn't safe to let her go.

Why can’t MIL be trusted?
What is it exactly that is the problem.

Personally I’d have a number of issues with my 9yo DD going abroad with relatives, especially a cruise. But your exact concerns are probably what matters.

Absolutely no way. She'd need to be watched like a hawk in the swimming pools and many grandparents just aren't up to it. Many are, obviously, but you've said your MIL isn't. I'd also be worried about her falling over the side into the sea or getting taken into someone's cabin in the blink of an eye. Not worth it, no way.

I would happily wave my 9 year old off with adults I trusted but if I couldn’t trust them then there’s no way I would send her.

There are many things more boring.
Edited to exclude my factually correct opinion.

This is a nuts premise @irishchick93 your husband knows his family much better than you do and he doesn’t think it is suitable. There is no way you should try to convince him. He has his reasons.

is she not his child? surely he knows his Mother best

it's sad how little imagination some people have that they assume their single thought about anything must be all there is to know about something.

In what way can't your MIL be trusted? I think you need to give more context. Is she going to let your daughter eat junk for an entire week or is she likely to let your daughter do something dangerous? Both are very different! It sounds as if your FIL is trusted completely by both you, but it would be impossible for him to be by your daughter's side all the time.

Your husband doesn't trust his Mum, and we have to presume he knows his Mum very well. Unless you are able to accompany your daughter on the cruise, then I think you need to support your husband's stance.

Absolutely don’t allow it .

Its your dh parents its his decision

You’d send her on a weeks cruise with a woman you don’t fully trust?!! Father in law can’t watch her 24/7. What if he falls ill or something? There’s no way in hell I’d even contemplate this.

No way would I allow my 9yr old child to go on a cruise (or any other holiday) with grandparents who may or may not keep a very close eye on my child 24/7.

9yr old youngsters can be very energetic and inquisitive. I’d be afraid of climbing railings and …..

As far as the safety and her having fun I don’t think you have anything to worry about, the bigger issue is a family fallout. A 9 year old can almost look after themselves after all

Can she not go in the kids club? Mine went on residential holidays that age without me? What could actually happen? Where would she sleep? Can she swim? A 9 year old isn’t a baby and won’t she be with other dc? Why not find out more about what they are doing and where DD fits into the plans.

Me neither…but I doubt very much that a Disney cruise is for us oldies!

I didn't know Disney were planning UK departures so looked it up.

It's over £2,500 plus gratuities of at least £65 per person for a 4 day cruise from Southampton to Spain next year. I can't think who a Disney cruise is for!

My DF was perfectly capable of looking after my DC at that age, they would have had a whale of a time together. However my DM would have tried to actively sabotage that, because that's who she was. So she would tell DC it was alright to go off somewhere alone, or take them somewhere herself without telling anyone and then not look out for them, or feed them dodgy food, or tell them to run home alone or swim in a river or whatever - and he could barely say no to her when it was just him. So they didn't have unsupervised time with the DC. I couldn't trust him to stand up to her. Sounds like your FIL has the same issue.