How to get over limerance

[Fedupwithhusbandssnoring]

It is all consuming, never had it this bad. I will get flamed for this. There is another man at a place I go to with my friends. We have a lot to talk about and have kissed a few times. I always vow to not kiss him before I go out, but he makes the move and I'm gone. I don't want to stop going to this place and neither do my friends. It is likely we won't be going again for a few months, which is a good thing.
In between the times I see him he consumes my every thought, from the time I wake up to the time I go to bed. I don't want my husband near me, nor do I want to end my marriage.
He is married too and I would not want to be party to his wife's heartache. Our children are grown up.
Help me make it stop..

Well yanbu to want to stop. It's not limerance though. Sorry to be pedantic. You're in full on affair territory. The way to stop it is not see him.

Limerance is a crush where you can't tell them because you or they or both are unavailable. It then feeds itself and you hope for it to be consummated but fear the rejection if you ever raised it and the hope and the fear keep you in a horrible loop of obsession.

In your case you are just in full on ability to approach and have sex with him. Don't do it. He will disappoint and it will wreck your marriage. Plus it's a straight up shitty thing to do and you know it.

Eventually your obsession will abate. Think about what is missing in your marriage. I doubt you can put the excitement back in. People Always act so scornful about what must be missing from a marriage to make you stray but the reality is most marriages lack sexual intrigue and excitement BUT if you have an affair and it goes the distance that will also end up in the same place or worse because its not the life you've built with your DH and you'll have trashed your family for what?

You'd be denying yourself so much future happiness for superficial things. How do you know new man would be any good at the things which make a good life partner? Chances are he's a shit if he's kissing you. So his willingness to kiss you disqualifies him from being worth kissing!!!

You can’t always have what you want.

if you want to stop the affair, you’ll stop going to this place. Since apparently when you go you can’t stop yourself cheating.

You’re going to get your arse handed to you here but I presume that’s what you came for.

Yeah that’s not limerance love. You’re having an affair!

Block him, avoid him completely, whatever it takes. Get some counselling. Move on. If your marriage is rubbish, end it, but not because of him.

Very typical language for someone having an affair. I I I, me me me. And what do you mean you would not want to be party to his wife’s heartache? You already are! You are shitting on your own husband too and all your friends know? Nice. Pack it in, you are a grown up, choose better.

Leave your husband (he probably won't leave his wife, you may not be the only bit on the side he is cultivating) or stop deliberately going to a place where you know you will cheat on him and have some self respect.
If you can't keep your mind out of your knickers, try having some respect for your husband.

You are a cheat and so is this man, that is all this is, it's nothing special or different.
You turn up to cheat on your husband, he turns up to cheat on his wife.

Lots of people with no idea what limerance is. OP could very well be experiencing limerance. Her kissing the guy /having an affair doesn't stop it being limerance. Maybe a Google search would be good for some of you.

If it's limerance, you might want to consider therapy, OP.

Lots of people with no idea that “limerance” is actually “limerence”(just for the Google search purposes).

Really hoping 'the place' is a miniature model railway enthusiasts meet up and you just can't stop yourself swooning over a man in a train driver's hat as he chuffs around with his knees out balancing on a tiny train.

Stop going to the same bar. Its that simple!