AIBU to think my husband was out of line over the football?

[ForHappyCat]

Last night My 10 month old wouldn’t settle in the night (I think the match on tv contributed to this) I did all the usual things to try and settle him for an hour but nothing worked. I took him downstairs,it’s half 3 and the football is on. I’m explaining to my husband what’s going on,as I’m changing the baby’s nappy. He starts bouncing on the sofa because England have been awarded a penalty, cutting me off( I’ll add that they weren’t taking the penalty at this point,it had just been given,if that matters) He says “I’ll take the baby but you have to let me watch this” I must’ve pulled a face because then he yells “fucking hell man!!” at me, “it’s the England game and I’ve got up for this,I’ve said I’ll take the baby ”. I said “so I should shut up and be grateful,right?!” And I left. I took our baby back at 5. Now this morning I’m getting the silent treatment.

I get some people are really invested and passionate about sport, but I just can’t think of a scenario where there would be any event,on tv or otherwise,where I’d act like that.I think he is totally out of line for his words and for shouting. AIBU? Thanks

I really can’t see what he’s done wrong here.

I'm with your dh.
You can't be wittering on when England are taking a penalty.
Your dh took the baby, just because you don't like football don't spoil it for him.

I'm on his side with this one

You could have just let him see the penalty in peace.

I don't see what he's done wrong. Perhaps he was a little short but he's invested in the game.

It was one night and a massive game. When I'm absorbed in something I like to be in the moment and would hate dh interrupting like that. I don't watch sport but I let dh enjoy the important matches in peace.

You were out of line for pulling a pissy face at him. I have no idea what your problem was with how he behaved up to that point and I'm not surprised he got frustrated.

Sorry I would have been pretty short with you if you'd been talking to me about the baby when a penalty was happening. This was a massive game, it was 3am and he was happy to take the baby. I would apologise if I were you

Why on earth did you take the baby downstairs to change him knowing your dh was watching the football?

Not because it would interrupt it, but because the light, noise, excitement from his dad would have woken the baby further and stimulated him.

Why did you not change him in his room and put him back down?

It feels very much like you did it deliberately, maybe to spoil the football?

I’d your DH was downstairs watching the match why did you take the unsettled baby down in the first place? Surely it was quieter upstairs?

You sound very hard work

I don’t understand what your DH was supposed to have done wrong? You took baby downstairs when you’d knew the football was on.

With your husband on this. It sounds deliberate and almost spiteful
You were out of order

I’m not a football fan at all but I’m with your DH here.

taking a baby into a room where someone is watching a big football match isn’t going to help that baby settle so it seems like your motivation was to make some sort of passive aggressive point to him rather than help the baby settle.

Sorry, I'm with your DP. It's an important match, it means something to him and he's engrossed in it and you're 'explaining to him what's going on while changing the babies nappy'. Explaining what? That the baby is awake and you're changing his nappy?

He shouldn't have shouted at you but I can see why he was frustrated with you.

I’m also confused why your brought the baby downstairs to change.

Admit it, you were feeling resentful about him enjoying himself when you were left holding the baby and your resentment led to bad words.

Good to know so many people feel sport justifies screaming fuck at their spouses. I had a toddler upstairs in our small house,I needed to go downstairs to avoid the crying baby waking him. I’m not vindictive,I couldn’t carry on upstairs. I’m going to leave this thread, I think I’m just going to get a lot of abuse.

If DH did some performative nappy changing in front of me when I was watching my netball team in a big game I’d be annoyed. He took the baby, what more did you want?

I’m against the crowd on this one. His role as a dad isn’t trumped by anything. He could have been a bit better natured. A calm talk is what’s needed here, not the silent treatment which is in itself a bit abusive.

Based on this issue alone and no other backstory YABVVVVU!!!!!

Did he need it explaining? He can probably work out the baby was awake and offered to have him.

I think you were tired and handled it badly. Hopefully you will feel better after some sleep.

He didn't scream fuck at you.
He yelled 'fucking hell man' seemingly out of pure frustration at your actions.
Likely the same as when I'm WFH, trying to think and partner comes up to witter at me about some old bollocking. That would merit the same response from me.

It is as unreasonable to shout at a spouse as it is to pull a face at them in response to them talking, which you did first.

You taking the baby downstairs was very passive aggressive in the first place, so you shouldn't have done it. He was a bit of a dick but you set him up.

He didn’t scream fuck at you. He was frustrated at your interruption and swore.