AIBU to think my husband was out of line over the football?

[ForHappyCat]

Last night My 10 month old wouldn’t settle in the night (I think the match on tv contributed to this) I did all the usual things to try and settle him for an hour but nothing worked. I took him downstairs,it’s half 3 and the football is on. I’m explaining to my husband what’s going on,as I’m changing the baby’s nappy. He starts bouncing on the sofa because England have been awarded a penalty, cutting me off( I’ll add that they weren’t taking the penalty at this point,it had just been given,if that matters) He says “I’ll take the baby but you have to let me watch this” I must’ve pulled a face because then he yells “fucking hell man!!” at me, “it’s the England game and I’ve got up for this,I’ve said I’ll take the baby ”. I said “so I should shut up and be grateful,right?!” And I left. I took our baby back at 5. Now this morning I’m getting the silent treatment.

I get some people are really invested and passionate about sport, but I just can’t think of a scenario where there would be any event,on tv or otherwise,where I’d act like that.I think he is totally out of line for his words and for shouting. AIBU? Thanks

Your role as a parent isn’t trumped by something but that doesn’t mean you are immediately free to take the baby. If I was at the cinema 5 mins from the end of a movie, or had just settled into a lovely bath with a drink and a book to read and my DH made a big passive aggressive song and dance suggesting I needed to stop what I was doing and immediately take the baby rather than finishing up then I would be equally annoyed.

Team dh, it's a penalty and is important. It's one night. Just make him have the baby during another night so you can catch up kn some sleep.

Is this a reverse?

What on earth required explaining? Surely it was pretty obvious what was going on. Why would you start explaining things when a penalty was about to happen?

I’m going to leave this thread, I think I’m just going to get a lot of abuse.

You mean, I'm going to leave this thread because it didn't go the way I wanted.

You would have been more than happy to stick around if everyone had agreed with you, and criticised your DH. 🤷‍♀️

I suspect your flouncing off here is exactly the kind of behaviour that led to the problem last night. Get some sleep and hopefully you’ll both feel better. It is hard raising small children.

He had already said that he would take the baby. The OP pulled a face in response.

The OP was being unreasonable here, and I don't blame her DH for being annoyed.

do you always take the baby downstairs?
seems odd, ok you didnt want to wake the toddler but downstairs does seem intentional

I'm not a football fan and generally assume football fans are morons, which is why I didn't marry one.

However, I think YABU. He took the baby so you could go back to bed which is presumably what you wanted him to do.

The game only finished a couple of hours ago and these threads are already starting ? Wow. I watched the game and had the laptop on with MN, and there was a good group of Mumsnetters online posting comments. I reckon if you had handed a baby to any of the mums in that group you might have gotten a worse reply. It was a good game. Perhaps the best in this WC so far.

Or just reflect that tensions were high instead of flouncing off because people aren't all agreeing with you

If he is normally a decent bloke, let it go.

You're both sleep deprived, you came down trying to talk at him at a crucial part of the game, pulled a face and went in a grump. Ok, he swore but I don't think thats the end of the world.

Why is it her responsibility to be the one trying to settle the baby?

Agreed. What if you both wanted to watch it? SOMEONE has to look after the baby.

Nobody said sport justifies anything.

It's not about the sport, it's about him being engrossed in and trying to concentrate on something important to him and you unnecessarily distracting him.

No he shouldn't have shouted at you but I can see why he was frustrated with you. I'd have said the same thing if he'd have been watching any other live event, watching election results, an important news bulletin or working.

Probably because it was one of the only times he was otherwise engaged at 1-3am?

Everyone is harsh and has no self respect if they’d accept this treatment.

Both are obviously tired, OP is sleep deprived trying to look after a baby and worry about a sleeping toddler. If her DH was so concerned, he could have said “oh is he not settling, I’ll take him while I’m watching the football” instead he seemed inconvenienced by his duty as a father.

What if she wanted to be asleep / engaged at this time. I’m sure this isn’t the only time she’s up then. Football doesn’t trump responsibility. Why is the bar so fucking low.

Which he did?

The shouting wasn't because op took him the baby. It was cos he wanted to watch the penalty whilst she was talking at him and then went in a grump cos he asked to watch the penalty before taking over baby duties.

He had the baby for the rest of the match then

It wasn't. He'd already said he'd take the baby but asked OP to stop wittering on as he was trying to watch the match. Then OP 'must have pulled a face' that he'd asked her to stop talking and he was understandably annoyed.

It’s football. Not exactly the be all and end all. If anyone - husband, cousin, parent, child, stranger - spoke to me that way over a bloody sport I’d be furious. It’s not like he was doing something important, like working.

Watching a sport is a luxury. Caring for your child without yelling is a non-negotiable.

Cant believe anyone could vote YABU

He did say that he would take him while watching the football. He just made it clear that he wanted to continue watching the football simultaneously,, given that it was a crucial point in the game.

The OP pulled a face in response.

He did say that 😂

People are allowed to do things other than parenting and they’re allowed to finish when there’s no real inconvenience, if my DH was a wet blanket and demanded I get out of the bath to settle the baby for him I would be annoyed.

No, he said he’d take the baby when she’d already been up with the baby. There was no attempt to take the lead or parent, he only said he’d take the baby when she was already exhausted and in a huff.

amazing how he didn’t offer to help in half time when the baby was up.

I'll say it again. He had already offered to take responsibility.

No, he swore and got angry and took the baby. He didn’t proactively take the baby.