AIBU to think my husband was out of line over the football?

[ForHappyCat]

Last night My 10 month old wouldn’t settle in the night (I think the match on tv contributed to this) I did all the usual things to try and settle him for an hour but nothing worked. I took him downstairs,it’s half 3 and the football is on. I’m explaining to my husband what’s going on,as I’m changing the baby’s nappy. He starts bouncing on the sofa because England have been awarded a penalty, cutting me off( I’ll add that they weren’t taking the penalty at this point,it had just been given,if that matters) He says “I’ll take the baby but you have to let me watch this” I must’ve pulled a face because then he yells “fucking hell man!!” at me, “it’s the England game and I’ve got up for this,I’ve said I’ll take the baby ”. I said “so I should shut up and be grateful,right?!” And I left. I took our baby back at 5. Now this morning I’m getting the silent treatment.

I get some people are really invested and passionate about sport, but I just can’t think of a scenario where there would be any event,on tv or otherwise,where I’d act like that.I think he is totally out of line for his words and for shouting. AIBU? Thanks

My god, can you not read properly.

Yabu. Apologize to him this morning.

Someone with sense. Thank the lord!

It was a penalty - jeez, they don’t take long. I’m with your DH.

No. He said “I’ll take the baby, just let me watch this” - OP then pulled a face which pissed him off and then he swore.

Come to AIBU, get told you are wrong, flounce off.

However, fuck putting up with any person who dishes out 'silent treatment'.

You deliberately engineered a situation where he would react. You did this yourself.

You are flouncing because you expected everyone would be on your side as it is mumsnet and it has an unjustified rep for being anti men. Unfortunately we are also pretty good at seeing theough the BS of people putting up goady posts.

You're twisting it. He only swore after she pulled a face at him. After he had offered to take the baby.

I can read perfectly well, thanks. It seems that you can't.

Quite! And this morning he’s ignoring her after HE yelled at her.

What a prince.

But football has always bought out the worst in people and the worst people.

Yabu and you know it.
I had an ex like this.
OK it wasn't football with me but whenever there was something I was deeply interested in and enjoying and he knew it the fecker would find a way of ruining it.
Nice night out? Some emergency would occur. Or he'd be ill.
TV show I was excited about. Talk all over it.
Virtually anything I enjoyed he'd spoil.
I knew I had to leave him thankfully we weren't married and no children and I did.
In the interim, I was careful to downplay any interests.

It doesn't matter that it's football in this case, same principle applies.

Why couldn't you leave him in peace?

It's not as if you didn't know it was on!

I'm with you actually, OP. It's pathetic the way people behave when there's a football involved.

Not like it was final, either.

OP - just in case you are still reading - I’m surprised even 10 per cent of people think you weren’t unreasonable.

Your unreasonableness is underlined, in my view, by your second comment when you mention leaving the thread because you think you are going to get a lot of abuse. No one had abused you on the thread at that point. Just pointed out fairly robustly how unreasonable you were. If you were as overly sensitive on the thread as you were/are with your DH it’s not surprising that he got frustrated.

My views are as follows:

1. You were passive aggressive to take the baby downstairs when your DH was watching this huge game in which he was so invested. If it was because of the toddler asleep upstairs, then you’d have said that in your first post. Very few people habitually take a baby downstairs in the middle of the night for a nappy change.
2. Unless your DH has never seen you change a nappy before, what you were doing did not need explaining. Even supposing for a moment that taking the baby downstairs was a normal thing to do, giving a commentary on what was happening was most certainly neither normal nor reasonable.
3. You were passive aggressive to pull a face.
4. Your DH should not have yelled “fucking hell man” at you. But he didn’t scream at you. You’d have said that in your first post if he had.
5. Although you were unreasonable in the night your DH should be the bigger person now and not give you the silent treatment this morning.

So overall it’s 3:2 in the unreasonable scores - against you. A bit like the England : Mexico game in fact!

Why didn't you want him watching the rest of the game seeing as he was up already?
He shouldn't have sworn and the silent treatment is very childish - he handled things childishly but I don't see what the issue was in the first place?

It seems like you were wanting an argument tbh? He said he would take the baby so why pull a face and get pissy about it? it's something important to him and you could have just dealt with the baby and let him watch it.

You were both in the wrong here.
Do you normally take the crying baby downstairs to avoid waking the toddler or was it purely because you knew DH was downstairs and you wanted him to take the baby?
He said he would take the baby, he just wanted to watch the bit that was happening. This wasn't good enough for you that he wasn't immediately responding so you pulled a face, he swore and you stropped off. You both sound as bad as each other.
Imagine you were watching something or busy doing something and he waltzed in with the crying baby and interrupted, you would also probably say wait a minute.

So because posters didn’t jump at supporting you and calling your husband an abusive prick, you then said this thread is abusive and stopped engaging…

I suspect there’s probably more on your behaviour that happened overnight that you’ve deliberately not shared.

He offered to take the baby. I'm sure at other time he has settled the baby while OP has done something else. Sounds like she took baby downstairs to purposely show her resentment.

I think that if you love each other, respect each other, are happy, and want a long marriage with minimal stress you both need to get some perspective and learn when not to escalate something.
Your H spoke in a less than ideal way at a point when he was highly charged by the game. Presumably out of character?
Unless there is a pattern, that to me is one to let go. Because by flouncing, not only did you cut your nose off to spite your face, ending up with the baby, but it also turned a moment into a bigger deal than it need be.
He also needs to learn not to use silence to punish you. You have both been PA here, and it's such a waste of time and spoils days that could be pleasant.

@ForHappyCat it was a very intense and exciting match and you went downstairs and interrupted to talk ‘baby’. I would have yelled at you too.