AIBU to feel hurt by DH laughing at my small weight loss?

[Throwawayquestioning]

I’ve been taking extra care with what I eat the last week, it’s been tough, I’ve kept DH updated and he knows how difficult it has been, but I’ve done great and I’m really chuffed for sticking to ‘being good’. Hopped on the scales, I didn’t get the result I expected, a loss, but a very small loss.

His immediate reaction was to laugh in a smug way, I called out his reaction and he immediately said he didn’t mean it like that, he was having a joke but it genuinely felt like he was scoffing, like Ha! You tried so hard and couldn’t reach your goal! Ha at you! (He didn’t say this but he might as well have)

We’re not in a good place at the moment anyway (in the trenches with 2 v young kids currently) and had a talk last week where I did actually say I feel he tells me he loves me but secretly hates me and doesn’t want to see me ‘win’ in the same way I do for him.

I don’t know if I’m being overly sensitive…I am hungry after all!

Am I being unreasonable here? Anyone been through similar?

You mean a loss of less than 4lb MAY not be a fat loss. A decrease of 1lb could be that a person has not lost any fat and is just carrying a lb less of water. It could also be that for their first measurement they were carrying less water and actually they've gained 2lbs of water and lost 3lbs of fat.

Of course it is. Many people, in particular those who have lots to lose can easily lose more than that in their first week of a strict diet. After that 0.5-1% of bodyweight is a healthy amount to lose each week.

My BMI was 28 when I started my diet and I lost 6lb the 1st week and 4lb the next week, it slowed after that but for the next 5 months it worked out I lost an average of 2lb a week. My mum started dieting same time and her BMI quite a bit higher than mine, she put on weight the 1st week and stayed the same the 2nd, she still lost a similar amount to me in the end. Everyone is different.

@Throwawayquestioning my husband has been less than supportive, I am quite bitter about it, not once has he commented positively (or even negatively) just ignored the fact I have gone from BMI 28 to BMI 19! He is now dieting himself, I may well give him the same level of support he gave me, i doubt it though as its bloody hurtful. A loss is a loss, and quite often people dont lose for a week or two then have a big 'whoosh'. Keep going, if its not what you are expecting in a few weeks just make sure you are weighing/logging food and check your TDEE etc.

'Just' 2 pounds? That's a pretty good weight loss. The first week it may be more, but 2 pounds week after week will get you there.

He shouldn’t have been smug and should support you but equally a week isn’t enough to do anything really… what did you expect in 7 days? Try not to pin so much on an unrealistic time frame.

. Yes your weight fluctuates naturally, BOTH ways. OP could have lost 5lbs fat but is premestrual so bloated and carrying water weight so naturally 3lbs heavier. She'd only see a 2lb loss on the scales. But it is most definitely a loss.

My best advice for anyone losing weight is to weigh LESS often. 2lb weight loss in a week is a good healthy loss but it doesn't feel it. Weight loss is slow that's why there's so many fad diets and tricks and medications. It is hard and slow so people "cheat" then you compare yourself to those people or those, like myself in the past, that go to such extreme lengths. I would be pissed if I didn't lose 2lb A DAY, it is not healthy. Nor sustainable.

Stop watching the scales.

You watched what you ate for a WEEK and expected more significant results….

Have you looked into the realistic results of weight-loss? You should probably do this to avoid unnecessary disappointment. It’s bloody hard for most people and can take weeks and months for people to see a visual change. Don’t set unrealistic expectations for yourself or you’ll naturally be disappointed. Good luck

To lose 5lbs of fat she’d need to have been in a deficit of 17,500 calories within a week. As the average woman’s intake should be 14,000 ish to maintain that wouldn’t be possible for the majority of humans.

You've been careful with what you eat for a week? Sorry but I'd probably laugh at you thinking you've lost weight too.

He shouldn’t have laughed but people can become diet bores and if you then only lost a couple of hundred grammes this may be why he reacted like this. I’d say nothing now and casually announce you’ve lost a stone in 6 weeks time.

What an arse he is. Any decent partner would be encouraging you and celebrating any loss, no matter how small. Keep up the good work OP. Maybe tell him less to avoid his childish reactions. Don't let him derail you.

I’ve never had a big loss, I don’t think it’s as common as you’d expect. In a consistent calorie deficit I usually lose a pound a week and that goes up and down each day, but comes to a pound at the end of the week. So I think a small loss is not an issue, consistency will mean in 3 months you’ll have lost about a stone at that rate. Slow and steady is still worthwhile. So I wouldn’t worry about what he says, stick to your guns and imagine how much better your clothes will feel in a few weeks. If he isn’t interested then I would try not to say anything else, the results will speak for themselves and you will have the last laugh. Hurtful comments can be motivating if you want them to be.