AIBU to feel hurt by DH laughing at my small weight loss?

[Throwawayquestioning]

I’ve been taking extra care with what I eat the last week, it’s been tough, I’ve kept DH updated and he knows how difficult it has been, but I’ve done great and I’m really chuffed for sticking to ‘being good’. Hopped on the scales, I didn’t get the result I expected, a loss, but a very small loss.

His immediate reaction was to laugh in a smug way, I called out his reaction and he immediately said he didn’t mean it like that, he was having a joke but it genuinely felt like he was scoffing, like Ha! You tried so hard and couldn’t reach your goal! Ha at you! (He didn’t say this but he might as well have)

We’re not in a good place at the moment anyway (in the trenches with 2 v young kids currently) and had a talk last week where I did actually say I feel he tells me he loves me but secretly hates me and doesn’t want to see me ‘win’ in the same way I do for him.

I don’t know if I’m being overly sensitive…I am hungry after all!

Am I being unreasonable here? Anyone been through similar?

Well done you! You should be very pleased with your achievement. Do you think he is trying to derail you?

Well done you! A loss is a loss and you are right, he should be championing you.

keep going, don’t let his negative attitude affect your progress

Yanbu. How unkind of him.

A loss is a loss though OP, well done for sticking to it and do not let the loss being small or your DH's reaction put you off. I myself don't see any losses (1-2lbs a week) until I'm watching what I eat for at least 3 weeks so honestly keep going you will get there.

I think your DH needs an information diet. Is there someone else that you trust to be supportive that you can talk to about losing weight?

Even if you lost just 2 pounds, he should be encouraging you. Unless he does hate you. Many a true word spoken in jest…

Yabu. I think you were probably being a bit sensitive about his reaction - especially after a more megre loss than expected. Meh - don't get worked up and try again next week?

Honestly that's just mean for the sake of it. Maybe he should help you more.

Keep going op. A loss is a loss. I find missing breakfast and only eating between 12 and 6pm helps me. I only drink hot drinks in the am - tea, Yerba mate, coffee.

Not sure what to say about your husband. Maybe just see how he reacts at the end of this week. I find a square of dark chocolate works if I am craving something sweet. One square eaten slowly with a cup of tea is really helpful.

I mean, it’s not a joke. What’s the humour meant to be? It’s just mean to laugh at you.

I don’t know where your relationship is going if you feel that he secretly hates you and doesn’t want you to succeed. That’s not a relationship I’d want to be in.

For now, I wouldn’t talk to him about your diet and weight loss.

If a loss is less than 4lbs its not a loss because our weight varies by 3lbs +/- just from water retention or dehydration, a big meal or skipping a meal, variations in gravity (yes this is a thing) in a single day.

I agree it’s not very nice that he laughed but you do seem a little unrealistic to expect results after only 1 week of watching what you eat.

Don’t bother telling him. Join a forum on here where weight loss will be celebrated, however small x

For me this would depend on what you mean by a small loss.

My sil once text me to celebrate a tiny loss and I thought she was joking to be honest

Well done for knocking the OP down when she is already feeling hurt.

He sounds unsupportive but I don't think a loss is a loss. Not for me. If other people do that's fine for them.

And have scoffed at myself and been frustrated trying my hardest and seeing a 1lb or less. I could weigh myself 12 hrs later and be a few lbs heavier or weigh myself the next day after a poo and be fractionally lighter than the day before.

The issue you have isn't about your weight however, it's about you thinking your DP secretly hates you.

2lb is quite a lot to lose in one week.

I always find it helpful to think in terms of packets of butter. If you lost 1lb that’s 2 packs- that is quite a lot of fat that is now not clinging round your heart or sitting on your hips.

I just wouldn’t tell him in future.

4lbs loss in one week? Is that even possible 😅🤣. Definitely not possible safely.

Being honest isn’t knocking down a person. I’m sorry I don’t believe in lying.

When I did a calorie deficit diet I weighed myself everyday. It definitely varied due to my cycle, in the phase between ovulation and my period I would rarely lose anything, then would have a significant drop around day 2/3. Be proud and keep going. It’s not just about the numbers, it’s about how you feel and your health on the inside.

OP, is this a one- off or is he like this about other stuff.

You misunderstand. You can’t register any loss in only one week if you’re doing it healthily. You only know that you are losing weight if the scale drops 4lbs+. Generally, as a pp mentioned, it takes 3-4 weeks to see any effect of any weight loss efforts.

You won’t lose much in a week anyway. It’s more normal to lose 1-2 pounds. Just ignore him

“Not to worry DH, I am used to small, being married to you”……

He's a prick and has contempt for you.
You feel it and you see it.
Why are you questioning yourself?

I guess it depends on what the small loss was. If it was just a few 100g and you are saying you're pleased it's heading in the right direction etc I probably would've laughed a bit as well - that's a glass of water. Weight can change dramatically (by several pounds) just from doing a weights session (you put water weight on). I guess it depends what he said next - if he reassured you and said it's early days etc then that's very different from chuckling and then walking off or mocking you. But to be fair, a blow by blow account of your diet each day is pretty tedious for anyone to listen to.