AIBU to refuse a Year 9 staying up for the 1am match?

[BlackTulipss]

Is this unreasonable?
Apparently "every other mum" is letting their school year 9 kid watch the 1am match tonight and phone in sick to school tomorrow morning then go in at lunch.
I've said no to staying up to watch it. Starts at 1am, it will go on till 3:30am, or later if extra time!
DS has to get up at 6:30 for school.
DH says let him, keeps going on about once every 4 years experience, it's only 1 night, etc. And he says it will be the final England match - they'll be knocked out by Mexico tonight so there will be no other England games to watch after tonight.
DS badly needs his sleep and at 14 he still needs a solid 11 hours to function.
Is anyone else letting their DC watch it live tonight?
AIBU?

wow, you must run a tight ship 😳this is pretty extreme behaviour control for a 14 year old!

mine finished last week so it’s not an issue for us but we would still be watching but heading into school. They can’t be doing much meaningful work at this point surely?

My son is the same age, we’re going to bed early and getting up for the match, then back to bed. It’s his last World Cup as a kid, no way he’s missing this. And none of the remaining matches are at this sort of time, if England get through.

Yabu. Why can’t he watch it and go to school as usual? He’ll be absolutely fine on one night of shit sleep.

Let him watch it but he goes to school as normal the next day and deals with it does he really think “everyone” will get away with pretending they are sick the morning after 😂 he can go to bed at 9pm and set an alarm for 1am.

11 hours is a lot. Does he normally go to bed at 7.30pm or catch up over the weekend? I'd say let him watch it and have an early night tomorrow, but if he already goes to bed at 7.30 it can't get much earlier.

Totally and utterly unreasonable, its one night. They can be tired tgr next day, sane as all their school mates.

Whichever way works but don't let them call in sick. Sends a very bad message about work ethic.

14?! I thought you were going to say he was 9 or something 😂

At that age I was regularly up til 2/3am on school nights. He’s old enough to make his own choices (and mistakes!) but he’d be being told he was to go to school as expected the next day. As others have said, good learning opportunity here for fulfilling your obligations.

It doesn’t matter what other parents are doing. You are the parent of your child so you decide what’s best for them.

Let him stay up, I doubt he will last anyway.

Because it is.

Whatever happens, England men's team won't be playing any more games at this hour during the tournament, because their path to the final doesn't involve any. There's only a couple more years of him being young enough for OP to get a say in his bedtimes, and there'll be no more men's football competitions held several hours behind us in that time. 2028 Euros is in the UK.

On the decision itself, I lean towards staying up. With a 14 year old, it's not necessarily about whether he'd be better off having a full night's sleep, because there's a good chance he's going to be so pissed off and wound up he doesn't sleep properly anyway.

My kids are too small to care about sports, and I'm Irish (so can't see this situation ever happening unless we get somewhere with the rugby 😅) but I would definitely let mine stay up. I don't really care about football, but even I'd stay up! It's a country-wide event that a lot of people will be talking about. I'd hate to force a kid to miss out on that.

There would be no calling in sick though. Have to teach the art of powering through and keeping to your responsibilities when you make certain choices! Encourage him to get to bed early tonight around 9, sleep until the game, then try sleep a couple of hours afterwards. Then an early night tomorrow night 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would let him stay up, it's just one night

It's a one-off time wise because if England do win, none of their other games will be in the middle of the night before work or school. They would all be about 10pm latest, and on a weekend.

I don’t understand why some parents get so weird and controlling about things that just aren’t that big a deal in the scheme of things. It’s one night. It’s a big event if you care about these things. He will likely remember it for a long time. His friends likely are also going to be watching. If he’s genuinely into it, he won’t sleep anyway. I would let him, while certainly not bothering to myself. Obvs things like this have consequences and yes, he gets up for school, and sucks up a bit of tiredness. Treat him like the responsible teen I hope he is.

I’d let him stay up, no question, but he’d be going in to school at normal time.

My husband and son plan to get a couple of hours sleep then set an alarm to go downstairs and watch it and then go back to bed afterwards.

You can't order a fourteen-year-old to sleep. You really only have the choice of whether or not to be an arse about it. Nothing wrong with saying he still has to go to school, telling him you don't want to hear any whinging about being tired in the morning, and suggesting an early night and setting an alarm.

He's 14 not 4!! One night of very little sleep is hardly going to kill him😂

Yeesh! My son is aged 9, not year 9 and I’m letting him watch it! What exactly do you think will happen?

I am having a pretty active day and plan to send my son for an early night, so I’m hoping he gets at least 4/5 hours before the match and then a couple of hours after (possibly once he’s stopped sobbing because they’ve been knocked out!). And he will be at school on time and have an early night on Monday.

It isn't uncommon for a teen to spend the odd Saturday/Sunday having naps. It's to do with brain development, hormones and changing into an adult. They need around 10 hours, but don't always get it, unlike adults, they can actually catch up on sleep. Like the development stage when babies need to cluster feed, or toddlers change their sleep, it's an important stage in physical development.
@pragmatismuniversalsentimentalist if football isn't your or your families thing, fair enough, but it us a important part of some people's lives and the World Cup is a tournament which everyone can watch because it's on ITV and the BBC. A lot of lads know the flags of every country via sport.
OP I think that it would be wrong of you to stop him from watching it.
Not quite as late, but a lot of children were allowed a later bedtime to watch Torvil and Dean win the winter Olympics 1984.

I’d do this too. He’ll just have a couple of days of feeling tired, he’ll be ok. I don’t really care about football but can see it might be very important to a Y9 boy and his mates.

Because they can. The only people I've encountered who misuse their power anywhere as near as frequently as parents are the worst prison officers.

All his peers will have seen it. He'll be very much the odd one out.

I don't even like football and I'd let him get up at 12:45 to watch it.

Yes. It’s a one off. Don’t be that Mum! Lean into it, get in the snacks and create a best memory.

This is our plan: get up at 5, watch on catch up before school/work. It is the last official week of school before opportunities week, DD14's exams are done and it will be the last England game unless there's a miracle. She'll be Yr 13 by the next one!