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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the younger MN generation would be shocked at things we did decades ago...

420 replies

Allonthesametrain · 03/07/2026 21:59

It was such a different time, before the days of hand gel, smartphones, ordering online, house cctv, awareness etc.

This is from a background of a good home with values, DF worked hard, DM did everything for us 3 DC and also worked early before we got up and during school hours when we of that age.

Things we would do...

All 3 have a bath together every night when young, also go into after bath DF or DM.

Most clothes were hand me downs/passed on from friends and neighbours and anything new was for a special occasion.

If we wanted anything special we had to wait until Christmas or birthdays and were delighted and grateful

Lucky to have a house phone, it was in the hall way so no privacy and a shout how long are you going to be on there if you rang out

Bedrooms were sparse, we put colour on our walls with posters we got from magazines

Fun time meeting your friends, on foot or bikes, roller boots, usually at the school you've been at all day because it was known and had no big fences around it.

We collected tapes, later CDs, which we listened to over again and had to rewind, also recorded from friends on a double deck

Recorded our favourite songs from the radio, had to pause before next one to not include the DJ's blitherings

Young teens, oldest looking member of group bought a couple of 2L cheapest cider, we all drank from

Pubs, rarely enough loo roll, we never thought to bring our own, wipe by hand or drip dry

Need a wee, you went anywhere

You walked to meet your friends then walked/staggered back, split up on way to walk on your own as girls

You didn't dare argue with a teacher, even when it was unfair as a good student

If you went to university it was a shared bathroom and kitchen between 12, one tine fridge, old pans. Then when you moved out to house share the furniture was from the 1940s, mattresses had springs sticking out, slugs were a normal practice to put outside.

You qualify, get your own first flat, most basic furnished, the slug relatives are there, you still have to go to the laundrette as no washing machine. Single glazing, you put your own film up to help.

This was if lucky, friends from less privileged areas and backgrounds were left to roam, hungry, sniffed glue, caused chaos, were always dirty, same clothes every day. When 'naughty' they were beaten by their parents and disrespected, often hit by teachers.

Things have progressed so much but there are still many living this life within their homes.

So, with the observation of MN posts about things like should I be upset about DC not being offered his favourite food at lunch time just seems so trivial compared to the reality of us as older parents.

Are younger parents picking arguments about what could be deemed as insignificant just because they can now on SM?

Yeah, I know, I will seem as a dinosaur, but Im not. Basic values need to come from home, which we as gen X experienced growing up. When you're a young child and all you know is instant gratification from screens then this is their norm, then going forward their DC. Not saying all parents do this, of course not, but sadly many do.

My point? Oh yes, growing up in harsher times, which wasn't ideal at all but it was what it was and now we appreciate the positives of now, but without knowing what it was like before is it difficult to appreciate and not succumb to a lazier way of parenting?

OP posts:
Yetone · 04/07/2026 03:36

B0D · 03/07/2026 22:28

I’m 61 and still did things like let my kids in the back of the van no seats (for seat belts) etc when they were little in the 90’s and early 00’s. (Sorry kids, reckless of me).

Well I am considerably older than you and I don’t know anyone who didn’t have their children in seat belts and the correct car seats if they were younger.

rainingsnoring · 04/07/2026 04:02

Allonthesametrain · 04/07/2026 01:03

I know, not their fault. My DC also have the luxury of 3 ply toilet paper, everything modern living provides. We do talk about our own pasts, which they find funny but get it. Also even more so from GPs, listening to stories from WW2 and how they lived after. Hopefully these will be passed down through generations but it will naturally become diluted, tales from the past.

I'm pretty sure the pp was joking!

rainingsnoring · 04/07/2026 04:04

Yetone · 04/07/2026 03:36

Well I am considerably older than you and I don’t know anyone who didn’t have their children in seat belts and the correct car seats if they were younger.

Children's car seats were definitely not widely used in the 1970s and 80s.

Yetone · 04/07/2026 04:15

rainingsnoring · 04/07/2026 04:04

Children's car seats were definitely not widely used in the 1970s and 80s.

Edited

They were in the 1980s when I had my children. My newborn and toddler car seats were very similar to ones that are available today. Yes they went into booster seats without a back at about age 4 and probably went into just a seat belt earlier than children do now so they were not as safe as today. However everyone I know went by the safest suggestions at the time.

rainingsnoring · 04/07/2026 04:18

Yetone · 04/07/2026 04:15

They were in the 1980s when I had my children. My newborn and toddler car seats were very similar to ones that are available today. Yes they went into booster seats without a back at about age 4 and probably went into just a seat belt earlier than children do now so they were not as safe as today. However everyone I know went by the safest suggestions at the time.

Perhaps everyone you knew did this but your circles were unusual as most did not.

SatsumaDog · 04/07/2026 05:12

BirdLandedonmyHead · 03/07/2026 22:13

We were able to make mistakes without them being immortalised on the internet.

This! I think we were lucky.

IFancyABaconSarnie · 04/07/2026 05:24

IrisPallida · 03/07/2026 23:32

Yes, being sent dick pics at school. Pressure to send back photos of your own bits that then get uploaded for all to see. Pressure to receive choking and anal in your early, precious sexual encounters. The manosphere. Incels. Anxiety because of Social Media. Feeling terrified to be even slightly different/imperfect because Social Media. Online bullying. Violent porn being celebrated as perfectly normal. Being objectified and being encouraged to consider a career on Only Fans as empowering.

Things are SO FUCKING GOOD for our daughters now.

Yep. Added to that you got a shed load of people wanting to vote Reform UK in at the next General Election. Reform - the party that welcomes support from the likes of Bonnie Blue because they need all the votes they can get.
https://www.tiktok.com/@itvpolitics/video/7584062045469904150

TikTok - Make Your Day

https://www.tiktok.com/@itvpolitics/video/7584062045469904150

WheretheFishesareFrightening · 04/07/2026 05:30

shockmethen · 03/07/2026 22:05

Op how old are you? We certainly didn’t share baths. We showered or bathed daily by ourselves. My clothes were not hand me downs. Everyone had a house phone. I was born in ‘67

You had more money then. I was born in the 90s and shared baths until my teen years. I was the oldest so no hand me downs, but my siblings and cousins definitely did.

IFancyABaconSarnie · 04/07/2026 05:32

relaxitsok · 03/07/2026 22:11

I was with you until wiping with your hand when short on loo roll!!

Yeah, you’re on your own there OP.

DeftGoldHedgehog · 04/07/2026 05:49

Some things have changed quite quickly, I noticed differences having daughters four years apart in the 2000s with tech. DD1 would watch CBeebies on TV, DD2 would choose what CBeebies programmes to watch on the laptop at my desk.

Attitudes to social media and kids has changed in the last couple of years, I feel like younger gen Ys and Zs have been tech guineapigs and then eventually reasonable measures have started to come in to help parents which should've been there from the start.

When I was pregnant with DD1 in 2004/5 I had one glass of wine a week, and even sat in the pub having half a Guinness and people could still smoke in pubs then. I remember in our final NCT class, there were only three of us and we had wine with our lunch at the teacher's house, it was lush! When I breastfed I used to have a glass of wine with the early evening feed on a weekend night, and DH would do the 11pm feed from my expressed milk (and I hated that one as I would go to bed at 9.30pm).

CamilleBeauchamp · 04/07/2026 05:51

I'd forgotten about there never being loo roll in pubs etc until you said... but it's true! You learnt to always carry kleenex with you. If you'd forgotten, you would have to shake/drip dry...

I don't know why - either they thought people 'would just nick' it', or they were right and they already had.. 🧻🤷‍♀️

SweetnsourNZ · 04/07/2026 05:55

Allonthesametrain · 03/07/2026 21:59

It was such a different time, before the days of hand gel, smartphones, ordering online, house cctv, awareness etc.

This is from a background of a good home with values, DF worked hard, DM did everything for us 3 DC and also worked early before we got up and during school hours when we of that age.

Things we would do...

All 3 have a bath together every night when young, also go into after bath DF or DM.

Most clothes were hand me downs/passed on from friends and neighbours and anything new was for a special occasion.

If we wanted anything special we had to wait until Christmas or birthdays and were delighted and grateful

Lucky to have a house phone, it was in the hall way so no privacy and a shout how long are you going to be on there if you rang out

Bedrooms were sparse, we put colour on our walls with posters we got from magazines

Fun time meeting your friends, on foot or bikes, roller boots, usually at the school you've been at all day because it was known and had no big fences around it.

We collected tapes, later CDs, which we listened to over again and had to rewind, also recorded from friends on a double deck

Recorded our favourite songs from the radio, had to pause before next one to not include the DJ's blitherings

Young teens, oldest looking member of group bought a couple of 2L cheapest cider, we all drank from

Pubs, rarely enough loo roll, we never thought to bring our own, wipe by hand or drip dry

Need a wee, you went anywhere

You walked to meet your friends then walked/staggered back, split up on way to walk on your own as girls

You didn't dare argue with a teacher, even when it was unfair as a good student

If you went to university it was a shared bathroom and kitchen between 12, one tine fridge, old pans. Then when you moved out to house share the furniture was from the 1940s, mattresses had springs sticking out, slugs were a normal practice to put outside.

You qualify, get your own first flat, most basic furnished, the slug relatives are there, you still have to go to the laundrette as no washing machine. Single glazing, you put your own film up to help.

This was if lucky, friends from less privileged areas and backgrounds were left to roam, hungry, sniffed glue, caused chaos, were always dirty, same clothes every day. When 'naughty' they were beaten by their parents and disrespected, often hit by teachers.

Things have progressed so much but there are still many living this life within their homes.

So, with the observation of MN posts about things like should I be upset about DC not being offered his favourite food at lunch time just seems so trivial compared to the reality of us as older parents.

Are younger parents picking arguments about what could be deemed as insignificant just because they can now on SM?

Yeah, I know, I will seem as a dinosaur, but Im not. Basic values need to come from home, which we as gen X experienced growing up. When you're a young child and all you know is instant gratification from screens then this is their norm, then going forward their DC. Not saying all parents do this, of course not, but sadly many do.

My point? Oh yes, growing up in harsher times, which wasn't ideal at all but it was what it was and now we appreciate the positives of now, but without knowing what it was like before is it difficult to appreciate and not succumb to a lazier way of parenting?

The phone was also not to be answered during mealtime, calling outside your local area was very expensive so restricted and some of your friends may have had an unlisted/confidential number and it was up to their parents if you were allowed to know it.

Mt563 · 04/07/2026 05:59

One of those threads when you realise you were poorer than you realised at the time. Early 90s kid, definitely shared bathwater and baths when very young, definitely remember bags of secondhand clothes turning up when cousins outgrew and I needed "new" stuff.

Bit honestly, there's no harm in either and I still do both with mine. Guess I'll never be classy 🤣

SeamusPlinth · 04/07/2026 06:04

SweetnsourNZ · 04/07/2026 05:55

The phone was also not to be answered during mealtime, calling outside your local area was very expensive so restricted and some of your friends may have had an unlisted/confidential number and it was up to their parents if you were allowed to know it.

Meal times = sit round the table and chat (aka listen to DF) no TV on at mealtimes (no BBC2 no colour TV) DM served tea for everybody from a teapot.

SeamusPlinth · 04/07/2026 06:10

Alittlefrustrated · 03/07/2026 22:12

No it was 2 miles, snow past the tops of my Derry Boots, but not 6 ft.
I did know people with holes in the bottom of their shoes and cardboard inserts.
It's weird that people think these things are made up.

1963, 6ft snow drifts, home made skis, sledging on the local golf course

SeamusPlinth · 04/07/2026 06:12

ClawsandEffect · 03/07/2026 22:17

I was born in 65 and that all applied to me.

The gifts I got for Christmas wouldn't pass as stocking fillers now.

We didn't have a phone until I was about 12. No car, ever. Couldn't afford it and we weren't unusual among our neighbours.

Mum used to boil flannels in a pan on the hob to sterilise them.

Mum used to boil flannels in a pan on the hob to sterilise them.

Terry nappies?

allwillbe · 04/07/2026 06:28

shockmethen · 03/07/2026 22:05

Op how old are you? We certainly didn’t share baths. We showered or bathed daily by ourselves. My clothes were not hand me downs. Everyone had a house phone. I was born in ‘67

i was born in 67 and we certainly shared baths and bath water and i absolutely wore all my cousins hand me downs . Money was very tight for us and these things were quite normal. it was done because of necessity but it was with hindsight very environmentally friendly.

TropicalFishAreTwats · 04/07/2026 06:30

Don't know what generation I'm classed as, born early 80's but I definitely walked to school down country lanes on the top of the stone wall when it snowed. There were definitely 6ft + snow drifts when I was in primary school! They were excellent for tunnelling through and making igloos with my sister.
I also definitely had holes in my shoes and wellies a lot of the time, we used to put plastic carrier bags over our socks when our wellies leaked!
Absolutely yes to the hand me down clothes. I hated them, I always wanted to be fashionable like the other girls and it drove me to get full time work as soon as possible and an account with the Freeman's catalogue.
I shared a bath with my sister all the way through primary school, never a full bubbly bath, a few inches of water in the bottom to get clean.
We didn't have car seats when we were little, I came home from hospital in my mother's arms in the front seat of the car. We didn't use seat belts until it was announced on the news that it was illegal to drive without them.
There are plenty of things from my childhood that I didn't want to replicate for my children, they have always had full bubble baths to themselves and shoes without holes but I do wish they could have had life without the Internet. The older I get the more I see it as a blight on society and I think its downsides now far outweigh its usefulness.

LoudTealHare · 04/07/2026 06:39

shockmethen · 03/07/2026 22:05

Op how old are you? We certainly didn’t share baths. We showered or bathed daily by ourselves. My clothes were not hand me downs. Everyone had a house phone. I was born in ‘67

Rubbish! I was born in 66, I had friends whose parents couldn’t afford a house phone, didn’t have a television, one friend lived in a cottage with no bathroom and an outside toilet and that was in the late 70’s. my sister would often get in the same bath water I’d bathed in and my parents were comfortably off. I sometimes had my sister’s outgrown clothes particularly school uniforms! It was different times and remember many of our parents grew up in the war, so grew up not being wasteful! Whereas now we are very much a throw away society, young people often by cheap clothes wear them a few times and either throw them in the back of the wardrobe or the bin!

littlefatdonkey · 04/07/2026 06:40

I’m 30 and had a similar experience growing up, most of my peers did too. Perhaps it’s the type of area you grow up in, rather than the generation? I grew up on a council estate in South West, but my partner (same age as me) can’t relate at all having been raised in a manor house in the Cotswolds!

My parents were born in 1958 and 1961 and also had a similar childhood to me. Although, my dad called us “privileged” for having Tamagotchis because they “didn’t have all this crazy technology” when he was a kid 😂

QuintadosMalvados · 04/07/2026 06:41

BirdLandedonmyHead · 03/07/2026 22:13

We were able to make mistakes without them being immortalised on the internet.

This is still possible for anybody to do.
And nobody really cares anyway.

Sartre · 04/07/2026 06:44

My DC shared a bath until they were about 5. I don’t think this is an issue as such when they’re small. I was also born in the 90s and I recorded the charts sometimes so I could play it back and write the lyrics out. I was also out all of the time with friends on my own, on my bike or just running around. Didn’t get a home computer till 2005.

JWhipple · 04/07/2026 06:50

Ninetysixdegreesintheshade · 03/07/2026 22:00

We lived in a hole in the road.

We woke up three hours before we went to bed to put in a 25 hour shift at the mine, then father would beat us to death and dance on our graves.

lessglittermoremud · 04/07/2026 06:53

When my children were smaller they bathed together as I did with my siblings (I’m 40’s) and then as long as no one had wee’d in it I would get them out, hand them over to their Dad to get dressed m, top it up with hot water and bubbles and have a quick soak. I assume everyone on a water meter does the same?!
I wouldn’t want the bath water from another adult but a 3&5 year old aren’t really mucky!
I always made sure I had toilet roll shoved in a pocket at the start of a night out (still do)
My clothes were hand me downs, but a lot of people use second hand now, so no different really.
I was never allowed to go off roaming around/out to play without an adult, I allow my older children more freedom then I had because I’m aware I didn’t really fit in when I was younger because of it and their friends do play out/play football on the green close by.
Im glad I was an 80’s child, it meant I was a teen before mobile phones really were used, no social media etc

Sesma · 04/07/2026 06:59

I was born in 58 and we shared baths, we also didn't have them that often, probably about once a week, we had a strip wash each day the mum would scrub your neck, probably so the clothes lasted longer without a dirty collar. We also had no phone until the mid 70s and I used to go down to the phone box which was near the house to ring friends