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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think the younger MN generation would be shocked at things we did decades ago...

420 replies

Allonthesametrain · 03/07/2026 21:59

It was such a different time, before the days of hand gel, smartphones, ordering online, house cctv, awareness etc.

This is from a background of a good home with values, DF worked hard, DM did everything for us 3 DC and also worked early before we got up and during school hours when we of that age.

Things we would do...

All 3 have a bath together every night when young, also go into after bath DF or DM.

Most clothes were hand me downs/passed on from friends and neighbours and anything new was for a special occasion.

If we wanted anything special we had to wait until Christmas or birthdays and were delighted and grateful

Lucky to have a house phone, it was in the hall way so no privacy and a shout how long are you going to be on there if you rang out

Bedrooms were sparse, we put colour on our walls with posters we got from magazines

Fun time meeting your friends, on foot or bikes, roller boots, usually at the school you've been at all day because it was known and had no big fences around it.

We collected tapes, later CDs, which we listened to over again and had to rewind, also recorded from friends on a double deck

Recorded our favourite songs from the radio, had to pause before next one to not include the DJ's blitherings

Young teens, oldest looking member of group bought a couple of 2L cheapest cider, we all drank from

Pubs, rarely enough loo roll, we never thought to bring our own, wipe by hand or drip dry

Need a wee, you went anywhere

You walked to meet your friends then walked/staggered back, split up on way to walk on your own as girls

You didn't dare argue with a teacher, even when it was unfair as a good student

If you went to university it was a shared bathroom and kitchen between 12, one tine fridge, old pans. Then when you moved out to house share the furniture was from the 1940s, mattresses had springs sticking out, slugs were a normal practice to put outside.

You qualify, get your own first flat, most basic furnished, the slug relatives are there, you still have to go to the laundrette as no washing machine. Single glazing, you put your own film up to help.

This was if lucky, friends from less privileged areas and backgrounds were left to roam, hungry, sniffed glue, caused chaos, were always dirty, same clothes every day. When 'naughty' they were beaten by their parents and disrespected, often hit by teachers.

Things have progressed so much but there are still many living this life within their homes.

So, with the observation of MN posts about things like should I be upset about DC not being offered his favourite food at lunch time just seems so trivial compared to the reality of us as older parents.

Are younger parents picking arguments about what could be deemed as insignificant just because they can now on SM?

Yeah, I know, I will seem as a dinosaur, but Im not. Basic values need to come from home, which we as gen X experienced growing up. When you're a young child and all you know is instant gratification from screens then this is their norm, then going forward their DC. Not saying all parents do this, of course not, but sadly many do.

My point? Oh yes, growing up in harsher times, which wasn't ideal at all but it was what it was and now we appreciate the positives of now, but without knowing what it was like before is it difficult to appreciate and not succumb to a lazier way of parenting?

OP posts:
Ninetysixdegreesintheshade · 03/07/2026 22:00

We lived in a hole in the road.

paleyellowbrick · 03/07/2026 22:02

When my brother was 11 and I was 10 we would go for bike rides 25 miles from home. We would be gone all day. My parents never batted an eyelid.

MightyS · 03/07/2026 22:04

What decade did you grow up in?

shockmethen · 03/07/2026 22:05

Op how old are you? We certainly didn’t share baths. We showered or bathed daily by ourselves. My clothes were not hand me downs. Everyone had a house phone. I was born in ‘67

BirdLandedonmyHead · 03/07/2026 22:05

Now we debate whether a 4yo can have a Forward facing carseat.
Then we debated how many 4yos yiu could fit on the back seat.

Some things are better. Some worse. The good of days of 10p per text message...

Ninetysixdegreesintheshade · 03/07/2026 22:05

Walked 25 miles to school in 6 foot of snow with holes in our shoes.

paleyellowbrick · 03/07/2026 22:06

@MightyS
Me - late 70s

Alittlefrustrated · 03/07/2026 22:07

Are you around my age OP? I'm 57. It was a very different world. Can't relate to the toilet paper shortage.

ShakaWhenTheWallsFell · 03/07/2026 22:08

Ninetysixdegreesintheshade · 03/07/2026 22:00

We lived in a hole in the road.

You had a road? Luxury!

Honeyhonayboo · 03/07/2026 22:09

was such a different time, before the days of hand gel, smartphones, ordering online, house cctv, awareness etc.

You realise the majority of younger parents will not have grown up with these things either, right?
I doubt there are many 21 year olds on MN.

Echobelly · 03/07/2026 22:09

I think people still do bathing together and handmedowns, TBH, as Gen X myself.

My siblings and I would bugger off to walk along a local brook when the three of us were aged 6-12 and I walked to my mates 10 minutes away regularly from age 7. TBH, the way we look at this stuff is odd - some people seem to look back on it and are like 'Oh, kids were so much more capable' and others are 'OMG, boomer parents were so negligent'. I personally think it was (and is) appropriate levels of independence as long as parents have just given some thought to whether their kid can handle it and their kid is comfortable to do it, knows their route etc. The main block now isn't worse parenting but societal disapproval and insistence that kids are in more danger than they were in the past. I would love to have sent my kids out alone sooner, but I knew there are people who would consider it 'neglect'.

Allowingthebreeze · 03/07/2026 22:10

Much easier times in so many ways.

No endless social media where any transgression could be uploaded that would haunt you forever for likes by a stranger … Exercise and activity meaning we weren’t stuck inside getting anxious… Tuck shops where there didn’t need to be restrictions cos we would run the calories off….. meeting genuine people and getting to know them by talking all night… the romantic stupidity of the mixed tape… the joy of recording a song from the radio… and I mourn what the kids have to take into consideration now.

relaxitsok · 03/07/2026 22:11

I was with you until wiping with your hand when short on loo roll!!

FullLondonEye · 03/07/2026 22:11

Ah yes. What a shame my daughters don't get to experience rape being legal within marriage. Not feeling able to report domestic violence or child abuse because it was 'normal'. Having to put up with sexist misogynist creeps at work because there were no laws against that then. Not being given the same opportunities at work as men. Being told it was their fault if they got raped while wearing a short skirt. Good times.

I hope my daughters would be very shocked at how shit things often were then, particularly for women.

PrizedPickledPopcorn · 03/07/2026 22:11

shockmethen · 03/07/2026 22:05

Op how old are you? We certainly didn’t share baths. We showered or bathed daily by ourselves. My clothes were not hand me downs. Everyone had a house phone. I was born in ‘67

Must have been a nice area 🤣

I’m ‘69 and all OP said is familiar- though not using your hand in a pub. Think we talked about drip drying.

We used to sit three across the back seat and two in the hatchback boot, when we went out with friends.

We were quite well off really.

When we married the house we bought had no central heating and no telephone. We used the phone box down the road while waiting for installation- who I could take months. Remember, no internet, no phone to arrange the fitting!

Alittlefrustrated · 03/07/2026 22:12

Ninetysixdegreesintheshade · 03/07/2026 22:05

Walked 25 miles to school in 6 foot of snow with holes in our shoes.

No it was 2 miles, snow past the tops of my Derry Boots, but not 6 ft.
I did know people with holes in the bottom of their shoes and cardboard inserts.
It's weird that people think these things are made up.

Tryingtokeepgoing · 03/07/2026 22:12

I am Gen X though and through. My parents were born post war, got married in the early ‘70s and as children we grew up in the ‘70s/‘80s, went to uni in the ‘80s/‘90s, and I don’t recognise anything that the OP has posted as being representative of how things were for my generation. Born in the South, grew up in the North if that helps give context.

BirdLandedonmyHead · 03/07/2026 22:13

We were able to make mistakes without them being immortalised on the internet.

Ninetysixdegreesintheshade · 03/07/2026 22:15

Alittlefrustrated · 03/07/2026 22:12

No it was 2 miles, snow past the tops of my Derry Boots, but not 6 ft.
I did know people with holes in the bottom of their shoes and cardboard inserts.
It's weird that people think these things are made up.

I don't think they are made up. I think they are romanticized and used to make everyone think the good old days were better. I can assure you they were not.

RandomMess · 03/07/2026 22:17

I was ‘72 and can relate to the OP list. We didn’t have a house phone until the late 70s and only because Dad’s work paid for it!

ClawsandEffect · 03/07/2026 22:17

shockmethen · 03/07/2026 22:05

Op how old are you? We certainly didn’t share baths. We showered or bathed daily by ourselves. My clothes were not hand me downs. Everyone had a house phone. I was born in ‘67

I was born in 65 and that all applied to me.

The gifts I got for Christmas wouldn't pass as stocking fillers now.

We didn't have a phone until I was about 12. No car, ever. Couldn't afford it and we weren't unusual among our neighbours.

Mum used to boil flannels in a pan on the hob to sterilise them.

paleyellowbrick · 03/07/2026 22:21

@FullLondonEye
I think life is worse for young women now.
Social media expectations are crucifying.
Toxic masculinity is a much bigger problem than it ever was in my younger days. I worry more for my daughters than I ever did for myself.

FullLondonEye · 03/07/2026 22:27

paleyellowbrick · 03/07/2026 22:21

@FullLondonEye
I think life is worse for young women now.
Social media expectations are crucifying.
Toxic masculinity is a much bigger problem than it ever was in my younger days. I worry more for my daughters than I ever did for myself.

I wouldn't say I disagree with you. However I don't believe in romanticising this idealised version of the past by ignoring the very real problems that were part of it.

B0D · 03/07/2026 22:28

I’m 61 and still did things like let my kids in the back of the van no seats (for seat belts) etc when they were little in the 90’s and early 00’s. (Sorry kids, reckless of me).

Wibble128 · 03/07/2026 22:28

Did not have access to a TV until I went into digs / lodgings at age 17. But went from an indoor toilet to an outside toilet. Win some lose some.