Arfid eating disorder in 4 year old. AIBU?

[Unyhrtsidesau]

Friend has a 4 year old daughter. I’ve known her since childhood and she’s always been a little on the bigger side and admits she doesn’t have the best diet.

I saw her throughout pregnancy and as her daughter has grown up and crisps and chocolate and fast food was the standard. She has now had a diagnosis of arfid which I hadn’t heard of until earlier this year when she was diagnosed.

She is dangerously low weight and has stopped eating anything except KFC fries. AIBU to not really get this?!

I get that anorexia etc can come with psychological problems that restrict eating but in a four year old? Surely a four year old is programmed to simply eat to survive? I can’t help but feel if she had been brought up differently this would have panned out differently? Am I being completely ignorant here?

So you don’t know about the diagnosis but have decided it’s just bad parenting? Maybe try a bit harder to learn about it?
ARFID is more an anxiety disorder, sufferers experience extreme fear at the prospect of eating something that doesn’t feel safe. It’s not just pickiness or preference and they’d need a very restricted diet to get such a diagnosis. Sufferers will literally starve rather than eat something that doesn’t feel safe.

Oh another SEN/ASD critical thread... That's unique 🙄🙄

Jog on

@Fluidrules actually I am trying to understand

@MissIonX ?? It’s eating disorder not sen

You clearly know nothing about ARFID, it isn’t pickiness it’s a psychiatric disorder which is incredibly difficult to treat and can last into adulthood. I’m so shocked to hear you are judging your friend and her child so harshly.

You don’t understand Arfid. It’s simply not possible to eat foods which are “safe food”
imagine I put a bowl of mud and worms in front of you. I told you to just try it, you would eat it if you were hungry, stop being picky it’s good for you! Could you take a mouthful

@BuffaloCauliflower i suppose that’s what I find strange in a four year old? Surely a four year old isn’t thinking to that extent about their food

It is more often that not coupled with neurodivergence

And yet if you knew anything about it, I think you would find they are closely linked.

Regards
Mother to ASD/ARFID child

@Kaidaia that is a really helpful way to
understand it! Thank you. But why would a four year old refuse ice cream or nice treats then?

I understand that you are just trying to understand OP. Nothing wrong with asking questions even if some people don’t like them.

I don’t know why I’m replying but here goes.

When DS was a baby he ate everything and anything.

at 18 months old he stopped drinking milk and soon after cut out any dairy. But he still ate pretty well.

Age 5 he stopped eating other than apples. He went 2 weeks with no food.

Age 9 he was fitted with a feeding tube. Age 16 he still has it.

Maybe you should google ARFID and educate yourself on it. It’s not just fussy eating and kids that are diagnosed would rather starve than eat something not “safe”. I have a DS who is 4 and I would be out of my mind with worry if he was underweight and only ate a certain brand of fries. Maybe try showing your friend some empathy rather than ill informed judgement on her child’s medical condition.

@MissIonX she hasn’t been diagnosed with that though but has been assessed

In this case yes they are. You may not understand it but small children have much more complex thoughts, feelings and emotions than you’re giving them credit for

@Nosleepforthismum i have shown empathy! Obviously I haven’t expressed this to her! I am trying to understand

I am very heath conscious. My husband and I eat a very healthy diet. My son is profoundly autistic with ARFID…. He eats about an incredibly restrictive diet, it is like he doesn’t see 90% of things as food. He can’t be in the same room with us when we eat normal things. It’s really serious. We drop safe foods a lot and it is a huge source of stress. I never would have believed I would have a child who eats like this. My son doesn’t eat fries. The content is quite healthy its just a tiny amount. ARFID is very hard to get diagnosed.

It often goes hand in hand with neurodivergence. My sons ARFID started at 2 years old. He's autistic and would starve himself over eating something he doesn't consider a safe and recognised food. God help us if there's a recipe or even packaging change...

Arfid is mainly diagnosed in children with autism and it shows from a v young age. It’s nothing to do with anorexia. It’s a sensory aversion to food and different textures/ smells etc. Hopefully your friends child is receiving some support from occupational therapy and dietetics. Avoidant and restrictive food intake disorder- it’s becoming more well known thankfully, but it’s been around for years.

@cramptramp thanks. I really didn’t mean to cause offence to anyone, I am very lucky I haven’t experienced anything like this so I am trying to learn

Yes, you are being ignorant and judgemental. ARFID isn’t just fussy eating. It isn’t a matter of saying DC will eat if they are hungry or forcing DC to eat what they are given.

@autumn1638 yes been weighed fortnightly but weight still dropping

https://www.beateatingdisorders.org.uk/get-information-and-support/about-eating-disorders/types/arfid/ link to the beat website page. HTH.