To think one child is easy

[smooooothie]

Assuming NT, not unusually challenging … past a certain point parenting just one child feels really easy in a way multiple children don’t?

No, it bloody well isn’t easier.

I like having two close in age - they are the Kids and we are the Adults. Somehow it helps create space between me and them. I worry if I had only one I would
feel suffocated and they were needing me the time 🤣 For that reason I think one would be very difficult psychologically (even if logistically easier of course)

I have one DC. They’re lovely. But they don’t sleep and I’m exhausted.They’re also mega social and hate playing alone. My DH is also abroad a lot for work so I parent alone. I have AuDHD. Child doesn’t seem to. I find it really fucking hard sometimes.

All kids are a pain in the backside: holidays, healthcare, education, wrapcare, camps, swimming etc. Keep multiplying the irritating requests by the number of children you have. For me, one was more than enough.

Friends with one seen to have a lot more freedom than me.

Had DC for an INSET day today and it was so enjoyable in a way it isn’t normally, hard not to be regretful … horrible I know.

Your children have never wanted to play with you?

I wouldn’t say so especially, it depends what you mean by ‘play.’ I know that sounds like I’m being somewhat exacting and overly precise with my wording but I am thinking of pretend imaginative play which they’ve never really involved me in. However if you’re more asking have I done jigsaw puzzles and helped climb on the slide then yes I have.

One child without health issues, when you have a supportive partner and financial comfort, is, frankly, not very hard. This is why I stuck with one.

I have two and life is definitely easier when one of them is elsewhere for a period of time.

However, the benefit of having two outweighs those moments.

I have twins so looks very easy to me. I have twins so especially in the baby phase then singleton parents had a way easier go on it

I have one child and I’m pretty sure it is easier - that’s one of the reasons I didn’t have more! The only thing is you do need to be willing to get involved in their games in a way that I assume parents of more than one don’t (although not all siblings play together nicely of course!).

What a silly post.

Once the eldest hits a certain age they tend to take on most of the entertaining responsibilities with the younger siblings. That frees up an unbelievable amount of time for the parents. Most parents I know with more than one spend the majority of their time acting like an adult, the parents of one spend most of their time acting their child's age and trying to find free time to do adult things. Especially if they are single parents. Definitely not easier.

When I had 1 I would’ve told anyone who said that where to go! Now I have 2, I completely agree. The rare occasion I only have 1 of them it feels like a dream

One and done here, it’s definitely easier to have one child than two. That’s why we only have one.

I always laugh when parents of siblings claim it’s easier having more than one because they entertain each other. It’s just such nonsense. Yes, there may be brief periods in a day several years into parenting where your children entertain themselves and I’m playing with my child. But no way is that easier than raising entire extra humans.

My only makes friends every time we go out and is very good at independent play. So I don’t actually spend much more time playing with him than my friends with siblings do. It just means he’s running around a soft play with a new friend rather than my house with a sibling.

I have 3 dc (now adults) and staying at home it varies. Sometimes having all three when they're working together is easier than having to entertain one. But going out:

Any two are easier than all 3.
Any one is easier than any pair.

But that's simply on the fact that it's easier to do what one person wants than consider all three. I suspect if I had three close friends, much as I would enjoy hanging out with all three if we were just sitting round that would be great. Going out, I suspect I'd say the same as above.

For example with the dc. We go to a theme park. Dc1 wants to go on her favourite ride which dc2 and dc3 are too small to go on. Dc2 would rather go and look at the expedition which the other two think is boring, and dc3 loves another ride, which they can all go on together but the older ones feel it's a bit beneath them.
Dc3 will go in the buggy if needed, dc2 will get tired, but can't go in the buggy and will get moany if there's too much walking at the end. Dc1 tends to put themselves at the bottom of the pile if they negotiate between themselves and then get upset later that they didn't do their favourites. Dc2 can be a bit of a bolter, so if they see what they want may go straight off without thinking, so I need to keep an eye on them. Dc3 needs a sleep otherwise they will sleep on the way home and be up to midnight and won't sleep if we don't have a pause at the right time etc. All things that have to be considered with three.

If I only have one, it's simple - I do what that one wants within reasons. We eat when they're hungry, stop if they need a rest and leave when they've had enough.

With two I have a little negotiation, but it's fairly easy, we do one then the other. Not too much waiting around and maybe I use a little bribery with the one who's going second.

With three it's harder. Do we do dc1's thing first because the queue will be longer if we wait, or do we do something they all like first? Dc3 is the worst at queueing (naturally) so do we reduce the inevitable ragged temper from them by doing more of their favourite rides which have smaller queues. etc.

It's simple practicalities that you need to be on top of with more than one. But, yes, I'm glad I had three. They all have times when they get on better than others, but it is nice when they're all working together, and it happens more often than you expect.

Depends on parenting abilities. Generally, good parents have easier children as they know how to deal with them without making things a big deal.

It is but it does also mean the parenting phase is over fairly quickly, I think with more kids it is more staggered.

That said I loved having the one dd, she definitely wasn’t always easy but definitely easier just having one to worry about.

I've got two, and I think 1 looks much harder. From what I've seen of friends parenting 1, you always have to be the playmate. Mine play together or alone a lot, which allows me to mostly do the kind of play I like (board games, crafting, not imaginative play!).

When we go places with only children, they seem to have much higher expectations of adult interaction. I've also noticed that they more often bring lots of toys to walks and things, where as I expect the DC to entertain themselves with the nature. I don't know if that's just my friends though.

I agree with this, I do have more than one but I hate when people say its easier because they can play together i mean thats a very small part of parenting!

Depends really - on many variables - let's start with the benefits of 2:

Close in ages could be ideal but then they might be completely different and not get on as well as could be expected. Or they might get on well but be different genders so there's the extra bedroom to think about down the line. Not close in ages then you have the 2-school drop off dilemma and despite any idealistic hopes that the elder will care for the younger, not necessarily so.

Benefits of 1:

Only one ball to juggle. Learning to socialise and share without a DP being involved can be problematic and often depends on the DP's social acceptance and/or wider family for opportunities.

Benefits of 3:

None. Just no - the old adage 2's company and 3's a crowd will come into play, mostly when you aren't looking and your adult dc will let you know many years later.

Benefits of 3+:

Better than the 1-3 options, you're all in by now so may as well keep going and see how it all turns out; at least 1 will be a good'n.

Benefits of 0:

see above.

We have one and it is definitely easier. They didn't sleep until they were 3-4, but we're nearing the end of primary now and that is long gone. We definitely get to have more time, either just 1:1 with child (or 2:1) and also to ourselves. When I watch friends with 2+ try to juggle sports days, parties, clubs etc I definitely feel like we get off lightly. Our house is also generally pretty calm and quiet. Downside is we do feel an obligation to play with them, and I think things like holiday clubs are hard when they are going in alone.

I think the verb juggling has been used multiple times and it isn’t wrong. And with juggling it isn’t just a skilled act, it takes high levels of concentration and I think that’s what I find. It’s hard to relax when I have mine.

One is definitely easier, mine is ND and is still easier than most of my friends with 2.

You're not wrong. I have one, she's easy. I really genuinely enjoy daily life and don't find it stressful.