To skint us all by sending DC to private school?

[Stilish]

One DC is at private school. This is because they have SEN and was really struggling at local comp. This was before the VAT issue. That DC is absolutely flourishing.

Next DC has no SEN and started at the local comp last year. Is not having a great time at all, it’s a really poor school in many ways and this DC has gone from happy and high achieving, to unhappy and failing academically in 12 months.

I want to send this DC to the private school too, where I know they will thrive like their sibling. But with the VAT it will be an incredible stretch for our family and I don’t know what to do. I have one happy child in a good school doing well, and one unhappy child in a crap school not doing well.

I hate Kier Starmer and I hate Rachel Reeves. Their spiteful tax hasn’t punished any of the rich families. But I’ve been homeless and my husband and I have grafted since our teenage years, and it’s bloody punishing us.

What on earth do I do?

YANBU - find a way and send them
YABU - keep one child in the local comp and let them keep failing

The tax doesn't hurt people who couldn't afford to send their children to private school whether there's VAT or not. So it's a targeted tax for the 7% of people who can afford to send their children to private school.

I don’t see that removing a tax break from privileged people to help fund the majority education is “spiteful”.

And now some of them can’t afford it. Same as I used to be able to afford to go on holiday but since Council Tax and water and energy bill rises , I can’t afford it. Water and energy bill rises don’t hurt rich people who don’t have to worry, so it’s for the rest of us.

Honestly, the elitism in this thread. If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it. Welcome to the life as the rest of us experience. It’s shit, you’ll hate it.

Now maybe some of you lot will want to change the system. But probably only for yourselves

Why would I fix schools? That’s the Government’s job. They’ve got my extra 20% - can’t wait to see what they do with it….

Absolutely not missing the point, you are indeed one of the rich. The vast majority cannot afford that kind of expenditure on education , the vast majority cannot even begin to battle to send their child to private school. If you can you are one of the elite, although I concede that there might well be those even more eliter.

Well hopefully lots of children will be better off with improved school buildings, teachers and overall education. And as you value good education, I imagine you will be very pleased about that.

Do you actually think the VAT will go to schools? I thought it had already been promised to 47,000 different places.

i have this situation. ASD child, Scottish secondary (one of the very best in the country) it was a shitshow. The violence and indiscipline was truly horrific. Don’t judge modern day poor behaviour until you’ve spent time in a current scottish comp. My older ASD child simply had no option. It was home education or private. They couldn’t take any more physical or psychological harm. The difference is astonishing. He goes to school to learn, not get beaten up. It’s a tragedy what the Scottish government have done to state schools.

His youngest brother has a strong friendship group so will probable be physically a lot safer, but the endless disruption will seriously hamper his ability to get good grades. We have to decide whether to put him forward to entrance tests for S1 soon and it’s a real dilemma.

They have pledged it to go back into education, as far as I am aware. And by Christ, do we need it. I don’t know much about Scottish schools no, and as an ND person, it sucks that there isn’t better education available for SEN children, it’s a huge problem. But let’s be honest, most people who use private school do so because of elitism, not because their children have needs and that is where the attitude of ‘Oh, poor me’ gets on my tits, not with people with children with learning difficulties.
And what we should all want is an improved education system for all children, not just for those children whose parents who have higher paying jobs.

What annoys me is the attitude of some who love capitalism until it doesn’t provide them with exactly what they want, and then suddenly it’s an issue. Times are fucking tough for everyone.

Jesus....being able to even contemplate spending £21K a year on one child makes you rich in my book. Maybe be a bit more thoughtful when expressing yourself to the wide audience that is Mumsnet.

@Newyearawaits
Charitable status was removed because private schools don't operate like charities.

Charitable status hasn’t been removed.
What made you think it had been?

Unbelievable @Pollyanna87 . Who on earth do you think you are?

The VAT added on independent schools was a spite tax supposedly to pay for more teachers in state schools. There are now less teachers in state schools than before the VAT put on independent schools.

It's a tricky one OP. I have twins and it was never easy, as one had extensive SEN needs, and the other in the top 5% for achievement. I insisted along the way, right or wrong, that they have the same education, and took them out of the private sector (the high achiever wasn't happy, but ended up with qualifications coming out of her ears and now works in one of the most highly respected establishments in the country. And the other one is doing incredibly well). I was lucky that it worked for each of them, and they ended up at one of the top state schools in the Times list. It didn't work for my son, who slipped into mayhem in the first year there. I was lucky enough to get him into a wonderful and caring private boarding school. It wasn't easy financially, but I got a 40% reduction in his fees as a single mother. He fought me tooth and nail at the time, but still maintains that it was the best thing I ever did for him.

It was a struggle, but if you think that that's going to help your children and you can find a way to finance it then I can only recommend that you send your child somewhere that is going to nurture them.

it's a hard decision, especially given the stupid tax situation. I hope that this has helped. I guess that the thing is that it isn't forever.

Exactly. Where were those people standing up for equality of education whilst their children were at the private schools they could afford at the time. People only start thinking things are unfair when it affects them but not the 93% of people who've always been in the 'can't afford it's category.

Totally agree with this. What do you expect these parents to do? There’s no magic bullet here.

same OP. My number 4 is going state in September as I just can’t afford the VAT rises. Pre Covid we were paying £15k a year. Now including the VAT it is £22k. It’s literally impossible to earn enough out of salary to pay it for unless you are on super high salaries. I earn £150k a year and we used to be able to do it by budgeting. Impossible now as col has risen so much and tax thresholds frozen.

This
I am so relieved that my three older dc are no longer at school.

The truth is Op you cannot afford to have even one child in private school
Both you and your husband take home 50k each which is a great wage and you have a side business . The issue is that if anything goes wrong with your job your dc would have to leave the school
I know people who earn £100k+ who wouldn’t dream of going private
I don’t have a particular problem with private schools per se . However, I have just seen too many people who simply don’t earn enough put their dc in private school making so many sacrifices
My brother in law and his wife have four children . They placed the first child in private school . They could just about manage the fees . They then sent the second one to private school two years later. Brother in law lost his well paid job ( 150k ) and they had to remove both children from the private school .
Even if he hadn’t lost his job he would be unable to pay for the remaining two kids .
People need to apply wisdom

I feel your pain but my DH was sent to the local comprehensive and his big brother was sent to private school - he’s 50 years old and he has never forgiven his parents for not treating them the same. This is despite him being successful in his life. If it is within reach to send both then you should, even more so if the one in the local school is having a terrible time. I will never understand not keeping children the same.

Private education is for wealthy people and you aren't wealthy. If it truly was a charity it would be free, or totally means tested.

Ask the school if there is any reduction of fees available. We were in the same boat, DD was in and thriving and DS is 8 years younger so we could do one in one out. However DS didnt

Everyone i know who went to private school is up their own arse. They really are.

Wondered that, too. I’m from Glasgow and to say ‘you’re skint’ means you have no money. I guess the verb would be to ‘skin’ so perhaps thats what OP meant.

I didn’t think that was true, either.

Must mix with the wrong crowd. My two girls are certainly not like that and love to be on the terrace with their Dad supporting their football team.