To skint us all by sending DC to private school?

[Stilish]

One DC is at private school. This is because they have SEN and was really struggling at local comp. This was before the VAT issue. That DC is absolutely flourishing.

Next DC has no SEN and started at the local comp last year. Is not having a great time at all, it’s a really poor school in many ways and this DC has gone from happy and high achieving, to unhappy and failing academically in 12 months.

I want to send this DC to the private school too, where I know they will thrive like their sibling. But with the VAT it will be an incredible stretch for our family and I don’t know what to do. I have one happy child in a good school doing well, and one unhappy child in a crap school not doing well.

I hate Kier Starmer and I hate Rachel Reeves. Their spiteful tax hasn’t punished any of the rich families. But I’ve been homeless and my husband and I have grafted since our teenage years, and it’s bloody punishing us.

What on earth do I do?

YANBU - find a way and send them
YABU - keep one child in the local comp and let them keep failing

I'm in the same boat and am equally furious!!!!!!

I'm just praying for a change in government!! We have sold our house and downsized, borrowed from our parents etc to fund private schooling for our SEN child and I desperately wish I could send my daughter to private school.

I feel utterly let down by the state - we're in this situation because the state has not made appropriate provisions for SEN children yet we are horribly penalised for trying to source that help privately.

You are rich. Just your current fee is my yearly salary. It has affected you because you are rich. It doesn’t harm poor families does it.

Your post is reductive, with respect.

People often choose PS for their children, not just for the collegiate element, but also because they believe it provides a broader and more ‘rounded’ education. I know that we did, and we have never looked back.

As to AI, we cannot yet be certain how it will effect today’s children, whether state or privately educated.

How bad is your second child's struggles compared to the first's? Is it possible there is another mainstream comprehensive that he could go to where he might be happier?

Agree

But you are rich enough to even have this dilemma, clearly

Speak to burser about the ongoing years and what they can do. You may be eligible for some support £100k household income is tight for 2DC at private and the schools know this.

Nothing wrong with the comp system.
My asd ds has just taken mocks.and got grade 9 gcse in all subjects. He didn't take the 11+ for grammar. I did not see the point tbh.

Not every school is the same and not every child is the same.

People calling you rich are missing the point. The tax just hurts the people who are battling to send their kids to private school. It doesn't affect the elite, the 'family money', the generational wealth. And it certainly won't do a single thing for the appalling state of state education. It's a spiteful little envy tax. Do what you possibly can to privately educate your kids, OP. You can't get their childhoods back and an unhappy one will hurt them forever. Remember not to vote for Labour ever again.

Do you not have to pay rent/mortgage? I would send your second child

It’s been in since January 2025. They made sure to bring it in as soon as came into power.

I’m sorry this is affecting your situation OP.

I would do it and I am. It’s very tight and I earn more than you. It goes up for GCSE’s and again for A levels.
mine are leaving at 16 and going to state for a levels.

There are lots of things rich people and families can afford that I can't. I don't think the businesses selling those services should be given charitable status and tax exemption to allow me to afford it. I can't even begin to understand how anyone logical can see it as a vindictive tax. (FWIW I also hate Kier Starmer and Rachel Reeves, just not for this). I feel for you in your situation though, OP - it is really hard when you've budgeted for something and then the cost suddenly spikes for whatever reason. My SIL budgeted to send her 2 planned children to private school, but ended up having triplets in her second pregnancy and now that is financially impossible for her. She's very sad about it, but instead moved to an area with better state schools.

In your situation though, OP. Do whatever you need to do for your children's education - be that moving areas, finding a different local school, extending your mortgage to send her to the private school as well, figuring out if you have the possibility to home educate with tutors instead, whatever. But don't act like the only option is awful state comp vs lovely private school.

I’m sorry but I don’t think you can send one and not the other (I say this as someone whose sibling was educated privately but I was not, my sibling was the “clever one”, something that has stayed with me for life)

Sigh. Totally missing the point. Individualism is what’s got us into this mess in the first place.

First world problem

True

Private school fees have increased by over 20% in the last year. Why aren't you angry about that? VAT sucks, of course, but it is right that it is paid on school fees. You may not feel it, but you are incredibly privileged to even be considering doing this.

That is never going to happen

You honestly can’t say “well child a struggled with school so we sent him private, child b struggling too but sod her… well let her know her struggle and stress doesn’t matter “

Yes, private schools should have had their charity status removed. It was disgusting that it existed for so long and was a running joke at private schools. It wasn't a spiteful tax, but those it didn't work for will say it is. The reason you need private school for your children is that the Conservative government underfunded state education, creating a big divide in education. And you should remember that when you vote next; however, I doubt you will.

I would - and indeed have - send both private. We have no spare money for anything but are lucky the younger one got a scholarship and high level bursary (because of our low income). We can’t have takeaways or glam holidays or new clothes but I don’t regret it. It is absolutely giving the kids the most suitable education for them and they are very happy.

It's not my job to fix schools.... I'm alright, Jack.....

This is what some people just don't get, it is not a 'spiteful envy tax,' it is a tax for a service a business is providing. Private schools are not now nor have they ever been a charity, they are not serving any public good. It was from the very start a loophole used specifically to avoid tax established by the people who avail of the service to benefit them financially.

The simple fact is some people who were well off enough to afford to avail of this service no longer can. They join the vast majority of parents in the country for whom this service is unaffordable. Suddenly these people are very concerned about the affordability of private school excluding their children when they gave zero shits about people who couldn't afford private school when they were part of that elite bunch.