If you dont post your dc on social media

[Namechanged2910]

Dc are 2 and 4. I want to preface this by saying I get on well with my ILs generally but am struggling to see if iabu. Mil is great with the dc and generally goes with how we want things done and when they arent I generally dont really mind or bring it up as its not a big deal. My 2 main asks if that the children dont have photos taken of them in just a nappy, and no photos at all on social media. I recently got sent a photo of dc in a nappy which I asked her to delete and she did and last week mil changed her whatsapp profile picture to one of the dc. I havent said anything but it is really bothering me. I want to ask for it to be deleted but if you dont show your dc on social media would you be ok with this?

Aibu to ask her to delete it or blur the dc?

Speak to her. I personally don’t see an issue with posting children on SM but will always respect the wishes of others. So I don’t post other people’s children that I know don’t like it. But you have to be clear with her as many would not realise that automatically.

That's somewhat of a separate issue - have you asked MIL not to talk about the grandkids unless it's with close family/very close friends?

Can't say I take much notice of WhatsApp pics

2 DC here, aged 3 and 1. It's something we have always had a very hard boundary on and I think the easiest way to enforce it is to have no nuance at all. No distance shots, no photos of the back of their heads or faces covered, not featured in group photos, that sort of thing. We've been very lucky in that everyone has understood why and has been very happy to abide.

It also wouldn’t bother me if they forwarded photos of my children on to other people. I don’t even really get what is considered dangerous about that

Wow. Not to pick on this poster but this is so staggeringly naive and shows why parents need education on what happens to images of kids online and from social media.

We do, but not often and they’re obscured, so a photo went up this week of our daughter at an attraction as she was wearing a mask. We also post in arrears, that includes here. But even then we rarely post them on instagram, they’re eleven and four and likely have more years in age than obscured pictures online. I post a lot on the weekend thread and if it involves an attraction etc I post about it the following week, so I tend to write my reply in notes for the following weekend.

We’re in Canada, the pictures on instagram on day one were actually put on on day five when we had already left the first location. If we didn’t have friends staying at our home I wouldn’t have posted at all until we were home.

I don’t use social media either and my child is not to be posted on there. Everyone respects my decision. Even nursery are not allowed to post his pictures on their page the only thing I did allow was pictures within the nursery and if he was captured in a group setting. I’m 100% with you on this op!

You are right to be concerned. It was in the news today. Parents are being encouraged not to post their children in the internet due to AI now.

I think the issue is not so much general privacy (because I agree, no one is really cares about pics of their friends’ kids!), but more that horrifyingly there are pedophiles out there who use apps to “nudify” pictures of children.

I would be ok with my parents having a photo of my kid on WhatsApp but can see why people have a hard line on it.

I don’t post my children on any social media. Tell her to remove the photo. The way I see it is if you wouldn’t give a person a hard copy of a photograph, don’t put it online. You are not being unreasonable.

What is the app u use please?

The National Crime Agency and the Internet Watch Foundation issued warnings yesterday about photos of children on social media and the explosion in the number of children whose photos are being used to generate images of sexual abuse. They are strongly advising parents and carers to be careful and mindful of what they post and the platforms they use.

I don’t think you’re being at all unreasonable. I’d definitely be telling her to remove it. To me, a no social media policy includes photos on any electronic platform, be it FB, WhatsApp or an actual website.

Totally agree

Even set to private, social.media are public places. Sadly, without becoming paranoid about it, people need to understand that Facebook etc. is not a "safe place" You need to be cautious about how much of your private life you share online, especially when young children are concerned. Ill intenciones people rarely have trouble accessing private accounts.

It is more frequently the cause of disagreements between parents of small children and their grandparents than you would think. The parents have grown up with social.media but not the grandparents. You say your MILs account is public, which just proves the point. Noone I know who uses the SM for family and friends conversations have their accounts set on public excep the older ones who have to be show how to change their settings as they didnt realise the risks.

You are perfectly justified to ask people not to publish photos of your children o line. Maybe it should be their son who broaches this, but do it

Regrettably Social media, including Facebook, is no longer a safe place and many people refuse to post photos of their children for that reason. People are very naive about the risks. Where do you think that hacerse, stalkers and other undesirables get their information?

Sharing a photo physically is a world away from.posting them on the world wide web. Some grandparents (and parents) need to learn this.

As I understand it we're talking about a WhatsApp profile picture, not posting kids on Facebook. I think they're quite different.

@NuffSaidSam
They are still online images. That's the point.

And this is the report from the National Crime Agency published 3 days ago. Makes very sobering reading, especially for people who think that posting pictures of their kids is harmless.
https://www.nationalcrimeagency.gov.uk/news/new-guidance-for-parents-and-carers-as-ai-manipulated-images-of-children-become-a-growing-concern

You’ll give chat gpt a photo of MILs 7 grandchildren from what’s app and it’ll tell you what about them?!

I don’t post anything at all about my kids, and wouldn’t dream of posting a pic of any other child. I’m not sure if a WhatsApp profile pic falls into the same category as posting on instagram or Facebook type socials. I wouldn’t like to mum adding my child’s pic as profile pic but might just be able to live with it - as long as the picture was decent.

For me a WhatsApp profile pic is very different to something like a public Facebook profile, can you pin down what your fear is about it? It’s a personal thing but it wouldn’t bother me.

Regrettably Social media, including Facebook, is no longer a safe place and many people refuse to post photos of their children for that reason. People are very naive about the risks. Where do you think that hacerse, stalkers and other undesirables get their information?

Sharing a photo physically is a world away from.posting them on the world wide web. Some grandparents (and parents) need to learn this.

I don’t put my DC on social media but this wouldn’t bother me. A WhatsApp profile picture is only ever going to be seen by contacts on MIL’s phone.

With all due respect I dont think WhatsApp is any different with regard to security. Of anything it's worse. Dont forget that anyone with the right knowledge calling that number can follow an ID trail. Illegal? Yes. Possible? Yes