AIBU to worry I will never be able to use inheritance money?

[WanderingStar26]

An inheritance one, kind of.

I am a single parent, I have a disability which limits how much I can work, I live in a HA house, my youngest child is 16 and going to college in September.

I’ve been aware of the fact that I have had the buffer of UC for years, as well as working PT, but that will be coming to an end (or at least massively reducing) when my youngest finishes education. I have been really trying to up my earnings (I’m self employed), and I’m doing better than I was but it’s difficult health-wise, and I’m definitely not going to be able to get a mortgage anytime soon.

Today my DF announced that he was selling one of his properties and splitting the money between his 4 DC. My three siblings all own their own properties, so that’s really handy for them as they can pay off a chunk of their mortgages. The stipulation to this money is that it can ONLY be used for property, so if I can’t buy then I won’t get it, basically.

It’s very generous of him but realistically I’m not sure how I will ever be able to make use of the money? I repeat, he will not let me have it unless it’s going towards a property purchase. Which is fair enough I guess as he doesn’t want to see it wasted. But I don’t see a realistic chance of me buying a property, ever, sadly, much as I’d love to.

He said he will put my share in an account and when I need it I can have it. But I’m mid forties now, my health seems to be going downhill and despite me really doing my best, my income isn’t ever going to be at a point where I can get a mortgage.

I’m not sure what to suggest? Maybe ask him to put it in a trust so it might benefit my DCs in future? I’m just worried that if it sits in a random account then eventually I might have problems retrieving it from the wicked stepmother (a whole other thread), and best case scenario will end up losing a chunk of it to inheritance tax. My DF is 73.

I think OP said she will look into shared ownership, so that might be an option.
But if her DF gives her the money, the DWP will look into every penny she spends of it when it runs out and she goes back on benefits.

She is horrible but I doubt that, to be fair to her. There’s plenty more where that came from, and I’m sure she’s got it sewn up that it’s earmarked for her. This isn’t her first rodeo.

Well…in a huge plot twist…there may be another option.

I have been in a LDR relationship for the best part of a decade, we don’t live together and he’s always been pretty clear he doesn’t want to do that. And actually it’s made sense not to - he doesn’t have kids, I do, if we lived together all of a sudden he’d basically be financially responsible for them. He works at the other end of the country but has been wanting to buy a property and recently had an offer accepted on one near me. He’d still only be around at weekends for the foreseeable but I think he just wants to invest some money into buying a house. The one he is planning to buy is tiny, so we couldn’t all live there, but it would have been nice to have somewhere away from the kids 😂.

So anyway we’ll talk properly about it at the weekend but he’s said we could maybe get somewhere together that’s big enough for all of us. Otherwise we could both do our own thing for now, me go into shared ownership and him buy the tiny house, and maybe amalgamate things further down the line. We both have EU passports so it might be that we decide to move somewhere completely different especially if Reform get in.

It’s all a bit weird. Until yesterday I just assumed I’d probably stay here until I die.

I can understand both sides, you will be receiving one thing and losing the other. If he’s holding onto your share for the future that’s okay. Work towards getting yourself in a better position. How many properties has he got? You might be in a position to buy when he dies. I would not be in a rush to spend the money now,

Shared ownership is a fantastic idea. My friend bought her flat this way. I really would not buy with this guy though. He could announce he’s selling it to release his half and you’ll have to move again. Get somewhere on your own. If you do buy together make sure you declare to the solicitor how much you’ve paid and that you want it ring fenced.

You need to have a frank conversation with him. Would he be prepared to give you more now so you can buy a flat outright? Or at least put it in an account in trust and the name of your DC on the understanding you pay the money into a Lisa for them at age 18?

I would do this face to face and explain your finances fully. You can say you want to buy how much a 2 bedroom house is and what mortgage you could afford etx

What about a shated ownership im a property ? I no they have bad press re selling on but might suit you. No idea how woukd affect housing allowance though maybe take advice

As he doesn't want to 'hand' you the money, would he put it in a SIPP for you. He may consider that a worthwhile investment.

Could you sit down with him try and work out together what would work? If he has input into it he may feel happier not going the property option.

Do you have any sort of pension that could be topped up? That might scratch the investment itch. You could even choose property funds. It would mean it was locked away which would feel less like squandering to him and will also not affect UC entitlement. Of course the disadvantage is that you won't be able to use it until you are older too!

Could you buy a shared ownership property ?

Do you have the right to buy? Would the bunch of £££ be enough for a very large deposit?

Could you ask him if because you cant afford to buy would he place it in a personal pension for your future instead?

That way it isnt "wasted" but youre not the only sibling excluded for benefiting

Where?!in 2026...

I would explain your dilemma to him and actually ask for his advice as to how negotiate this. You might be pleasantly surprised at the the result when you put things in his court?

Why don’t you buy your HA house? It will be a lot cheaper than buying another one as you will be able to buy it cheaper as you are already a tenant and this are entitl ed to buying it cheaper

Northeast and northwest e.g Burnley and Hartlepool.

You say you are an HA tenant. Have you heard of shared ownership HA properties which are part rent, part buy.

Look into them. Could be right for you

Buy something for 60k anywhere in the country then sell it straight away. Meets what he said

So here is an example of what 60k can buy you in Burnley. The OP has said she is disabled to the point she can't work very much, and would not have any capital to renovate a property. She also loves at the other end of the country.

www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/89077149

A few years ago that amount could have got you a cheap house in a handful of cheap areas, not these days.

I know this is a well meant suggestion but entirely unrealistic.

I think people are missing the point that her dad's gift could help her in other ways, e.g. a pension fund, but what he is offering isn't.

She is disabled to the point she can't work very much and anticipates that her condition will get worse. She is largely dependent on benefits.

Worst case scenario, if she is completely unable to work she has security in a HA home. The benefits she will be entitled to will enable the low rent to be paid and she will get by. She will be securely housed. Major maintenance (structural issues, working boiler, functional bathroom and kitchen) will be carried out by the HA. These are expensive and as a disabled person who can't work much, she isn't going to be able to DIY it.

If she has a mortgage, even on a shared ownership property, there is less support and if the payments aren't made she will be homeless. On a lesser level of her boiler breaks down etc she's got to find the money to repair it.

She already has secure housing... Even if it is not what everyone would consider desirable. But she is right to prioritize the security in the face of declining health. There are other ways her dad could help with the money and he's being purposely blind to her circumstances.

Is 'have you considered shared ownership?' the new 'cancel the cheque'?

The poster I replied to was asking what £60k buys you in terms of a property and didn't mention an area. I pointed out two towns where you can easily buy a properties (not just houses) for that price. Here's one example:

https://www.rightmove.co.uk/properties/89445126#/?channel=RES_BUY

There's plenty of cheap houses for sale in the north east and north west that don't need renovating. No idea why you want to pretend there aren't.

I agree. He seems tone dead to your life or the requirements that a bank would set to giving you say a 150k mortgage...

I'm often amazed how people with proper money and assets often have no idea about the world today and the lives of the generation below them.

It's time for a chat.

He should just put that money, your share, in a building society account in your name and forget about it. Yes, he's doing you a favour, but it's not enough to change your life given your circumstances. It's security, but not 'home' money...

Would have been far more of a help to you 15 or 20yrs ago... :(

The amount is more than enough for a large deposit and the reduce mortgage payments to a smaller amount, especially if paid over a linger period.

Aren't you happy about the idea of owning your own home, so eventually no mortgage/throwaway rent money when it's yours?

This is a fantastic opportunity is what I see?

U also have to think of UC and having money in an account-im not sure they will pay a top up. Defo need a Frank conversation with DF and tell him this is your reality-and u would've have loved your own property but life doesnt always turn out the way we plan (im HA too)