AIBU to worry I will never be able to use inheritance money?

[WanderingStar26]

An inheritance one, kind of.

I am a single parent, I have a disability which limits how much I can work, I live in a HA house, my youngest child is 16 and going to college in September.

I’ve been aware of the fact that I have had the buffer of UC for years, as well as working PT, but that will be coming to an end (or at least massively reducing) when my youngest finishes education. I have been really trying to up my earnings (I’m self employed), and I’m doing better than I was but it’s difficult health-wise, and I’m definitely not going to be able to get a mortgage anytime soon.

Today my DF announced that he was selling one of his properties and splitting the money between his 4 DC. My three siblings all own their own properties, so that’s really handy for them as they can pay off a chunk of their mortgages. The stipulation to this money is that it can ONLY be used for property, so if I can’t buy then I won’t get it, basically.

It’s very generous of him but realistically I’m not sure how I will ever be able to make use of the money? I repeat, he will not let me have it unless it’s going towards a property purchase. Which is fair enough I guess as he doesn’t want to see it wasted. But I don’t see a realistic chance of me buying a property, ever, sadly, much as I’d love to.

He said he will put my share in an account and when I need it I can have it. But I’m mid forties now, my health seems to be going downhill and despite me really doing my best, my income isn’t ever going to be at a point where I can get a mortgage.

I’m not sure what to suggest? Maybe ask him to put it in a trust so it might benefit my DCs in future? I’m just worried that if it sits in a random account then eventually I might have problems retrieving it from the wicked stepmother (a whole other thread), and best case scenario will end up losing a chunk of it to inheritance tax. My DF is 73.

That could be the most sensible option. I’ve no idea who the best person to see for advice on this would be? A financial advisor? Solicitor? I’ve never had to think about this kind of thing before.

Did you say you can't get a mortgage, so you can't buy a shared ownership property?

I guess he’s trying to do his best, and for three quarters of his children, this is a big help. Just a bit useless for me. I did suggest maybe I could buy some land (this is something that I could use to help my business), but he said no, it has to be bricks and mortar, which is out of my reach.

Oh ffs he needs to bend a little. That's a great idea about the land. Get yourself some advice and make it work for you. You deserve it x

I doubt I’d get a mortgage for that. I know some mortgage companies will take benefits into account, but in 2 years time I won’t be getting much in the way of benefits, still won’t be well enough to work much, so at that stage I wouldn’t be able to pay a mortgage.

Advice from who though? I think the land is a good plan, it’s never going to go down in value anyway, but he said no 🤷‍♀️

Shared ownership property may be the answer, depending on the price your inheritance may cover the part that would usually be a mortgage, so you would only need to pay the rental part, which may be supported through benefits if eligible.

I would ask a solicitor who deals with wills.

Shared ownership! You’ll still be able to claim housing benefits and remain on UC.

having had a similar father - sometimes approaching a situation like that as a business meeting helped. So in your case you could
firstly google if I invested money in a pension could I still claim benefits x and y - and what happens when I retire to my benefits x and y just to double won’t make yourself worse off
then tell him as a fact that your income means that you will never be able to buy a house could you set up a pension with aviva or someone else reputable.

maybe he literally has no idea what you earn - my parents were so comfortable they had literally no idea how little I earn.

Use the £ to buy a small flat then sell it

Could you buy a static motor home or beach hut or something that you could rent out for income and then sell in the future?

The government provides free regulated advice called money helper

Sometimes a gift horse does have to have its teeth examined. The generous gesture is unusable to you in its current guise. If Dad is not open to hearing why this is a gift you can’t currently use as he decrees, then you will need to present scenario x/y/z to show your loss of benefits, the sibling gap, and what you could do (or not) in the next five years.

I think trusts for disabled adults are still potentially a usable option so there might be something they could be done for your kids - definitely one to talk through with a legal professional I think. There's no reason your dad can't invest it for now while you work out what best to do.

Message deleted

Shared ownership
Use the inheritance to buy your share outright
Housing benefit can be claimed on the rental part

Op, you need to see this clearly. It is not generous to give your siblings money and not you, and that’s what your dad is doing.
’dad, you are not giving me any money. My siblings have a property already so you are generously giving them money. I am poorer so you are penalising me by not giving me money. Have you told your friends and family that you’re giving the other 3 a large amount of money but not me? It doesn’t feel generous to NOT be given money, it feels quite the opposite. I have some suggestions if you actually care about me benefiting from this gift.

Sorry - your father sounds like a bit of a twat, kind to give you the money - but the fact that he knows you CANT buy a house and still stipulating it has to be! I get the fact he seems to want it to be uniform with all the siblings and its his money his rules, but you CANT - and yet he still persists. Feels a bit mean on his part.

Is buying part of your housing association flat and option and renting the remainder as shared ownership?

I think that’s really mean of him. What I actually think is that he should just buy you a whole flat where you’d like using this plus other money.

What makes you think he has enough money to buy OP a flat in an expensive area? Have Ii missed something? I thought his main asset is the property he's selling.

It might feel unfair but your family does get a lot of free money that your siblings don’t. Can you frame it like that in your mind? Will be massively more than £60-70k. They will have different stresses to your family and I can see why your dad wouldn’t want his money just disappearing with no benefit to his child.

You have one child who may not face a life on benefits so in a few years that money could be very helpful for him to pay a deposit. Would be a way to make sure that your family gets some benefit from it over all.

I'd look into putting into private pension too. Check with a financial advisor - particularly on rules on how to get cash in there.

I think that your father’s offer, although generous does come across as pretty judgemental about your lifestyle. Does he realise that disability is not a choice?

Also some of these posts that are judging OP for being on benefits are unbelievable. She is doing her best and is trying to make plans for her financial future and honor her father’s request. 🙄