AIBU to object when a bus driver repeatedly called me darling?

[DontDareCallMeDarling]

I caught a bus today to a National Trust property I'm very unfamiliar with. The bus driver told me the bus back to town was across the road from where he dropped me off so of course I waited there.

When a bus turned up the driver said I was at the wrong bus stop and need to be across the road. I was puzzled because that would take me away from where I needed to go. I told him that I'd come from the other direction "No you didn't darling" ... I was adamant that I did, because I know I did. "Sorry darling you didn't"

I replied that I was not his darling. Clearly the original bus driver gave me the wrong information, though I was worried about not getting back, missing the right bus, and having what people often think of as a term of endearment (a matter of opinion) used to try to correct me.

I crossed the road and caught the bus but only just made it. All very confusing.

YANBU - he sounds like a typical patronising man. And yes - very unprofessional.

Come off it.

Ignore the internalised misogyny on this thread 😉

I'm neither of those things. Some are also making the assumption I'm going to complain which I'm not going to at all.

Nobody was rude, but it did feel like annoying mansplaining with his insistence I wasn't telling the truth, darling.

I do think the first guy probably was unfamiliar with the route though.

And for anyone thinking I got a bus from home to somewhere 250 miles away, I'm actually on holiday. The bus journey was 6 miles.

No bus driver would tell a passenger to "Google it".

I get called 'darling' and 'love' by bus drivers and people in general all the time.

It is just people being friendly.

It is very easy to tell if someone is trying to patronise you, which is obviously not OK, and the majority of people who use these terms just being friendly.

It always amazes me how some people just want to be offended at all cost...

Maybe not but women do. Especially older women, it's very common when I live and mostly it's women saying this, directed towards both women and men. If we object to men doing it then we have to object to women doing it too

Well at least you had a nice day and got home safely.

...

As said previously - Duck covers men talking to men, women, children and ducks in some places.

Seriously?!

Of course they do! There are loads of areas of the country where these casual endearments are entirely normal! And personally, I really like them.

It is minor.

He is trying to not sound aggressive when you clearly made ( to his eyes) some kind of mistake / if he had just said “no You didn’t “ it would sound rude

YANBU. It's sexist, patronising and unprofessional. I would hate it too.

I'm a Northerner, I wouldn't dream of calling anyone 'darling' or 'love' unless I actually knew (and liked!) them. And all of my friends would be the same.

Did the bus stops have the routes and times displayed. The first bus route might have been a circular route, I always double check myself before I go anywhere and darling is not offensive where I live, don't let something so insignificant spoil your day out.

It's dialect and a way of being slightly friendly to someone whose name you don't know. If it had been a man he'd probably have said "mate". I live in the Midlands and get "duck" all the time, no offence taken, none intended.

Ashamed of nothing, offended by everything.

Put in a written formal complaint to the bus company that he's a sexist, patronising man who doesn't know how to talk to women, and demand that he's sacked for inappropriate behaviour.

Don't forget to include that this was on the bus service to a National Trust property so that they can identify you as a middle class person who's not there to be called "darling" by some oik of a bus driver and you weren't some pleb who uses the bus to go to Aldi via the job centre.

That'll make you feel better won't it?

Wonder if op would be so offended if it had been a female driver

So complain to the bus company if that’s what you want to do?

Its usually mate, chap, pal to men where im from sometimes even duck. This is not a male female thing

I think you are over thinking this.
Just let it go.
It wasn't meant in any kind of rude way. It's just what people are used to saying because of a particular area they come from or whatever the reason. I have an example of being called babes, I find it odd but never take any notice. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Let it go....

Has writing all that assumptive nonsense and proving you haven't RTFT made you "feel better" this morning?

North is quite a large area !

I'm from the North. However I'm about as far away as it's possible to get these two weeks.

I’m from London I call most people darling.