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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to object when a bus driver repeatedly called me darling?

118 replies

DontDareCallMeDarling · 29/06/2026 22:35

I caught a bus today to a National Trust property I'm very unfamiliar with. The bus driver told me the bus back to town was across the road from where he dropped me off so of course I waited there.

When a bus turned up the driver said I was at the wrong bus stop and need to be across the road. I was puzzled because that would take me away from where I needed to go. I told him that I'd come from the other direction "No you didn't darling" ... I was adamant that I did, because I know I did. "Sorry darling you didn't"

I replied that I was not his darling. Clearly the original bus driver gave me the wrong information, though I was worried about not getting back, missing the right bus, and having what people often think of as a term of endearment (a matter of opinion) used to try to correct me.

I crossed the road and caught the bus but only just made it. All very confusing.

OP posts:
ThePoliteLion · 29/06/2026 22:38

It wouldn’t bother me. It sounds like an honest misunderstanding about the bus stop too.,

alexdgr8 · 29/06/2026 22:42

You sound hard work.
Next time when you ask a bus driver he might say Google it.

Thechaseison71 · 29/06/2026 22:44

What a fuss about nothing. Get a grip

nopiesleftinthisvehicle · 29/06/2026 22:46

We all say "luv" up here. To everyone. Men, women, dog and Budgie.
Would you object to that word, or is it the word "Darling" in particular?

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 29/06/2026 22:50

Yanbu. Sometimes darling is just a greeting, other times it's patronizing. Imagine having the gall to tell someone you knew which direction they'd come from when you weren't even there.

TinyTempest · 29/06/2026 22:51

Meh!

Whatever floats your boat.

You didn’t like it, so 🤷‍♀️

WhatcakeshalIbaketoday · 29/06/2026 22:51

Did he say it in a Craig Revell Horwood type way? He says darling when he really doesn’t mean it.

PrettyLittleRose · 29/06/2026 22:53

Seriously @DontDareCallMeDarling What a ludicrous thing to be upset about! YABVU! Don't you dare put in a complaint about him. (You'll be laughed at!)

Pippa12 · 29/06/2026 22:53

I think it can come across passive aggressive when used in a minor disagreement. I don’t like it either.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 29/06/2026 22:55

You were rude.

JMSA · 29/06/2026 23:33

Wouldn’t have bothered me in the least. Well, to be fair to you, it’s not ideal coming from a young man, as it sounds patronising! But from an older gent, I wouldn’t care.

JMSA · 29/06/2026 23:34

And to be fair to him, he got you to where you needed to go.

AlgaeDreams · 29/06/2026 23:35

I miss the "duck" days from my time in Nottingham. Man, woman or child... Nope - duck.

HoppityBun · 29/06/2026 23:36

I think YANBU because this reads very much like the bus driver was calling you darling as a patronising put down. Not a cheerful market trader’s “darling”.

AlgaeDreams · 29/06/2026 23:37

And YABU and precious.

Would it have made a difference if you were catching the bus to Asda?

DontDareCallMeDarling · 30/06/2026 00:13

AlgaeDreams · 29/06/2026 23:37

And YABU and precious.

Would it have made a difference if you were catching the bus to Asda?

Yep big difference. I know where the Asda is and I would drive there. I've no reason to go to Asda 250 miles from home on public transport in an unfamiliar part of the country. And I wasn't going to Asda so I don't understand the relevance of your question.

OP posts:
AlgaeDreams · 30/06/2026 01:21

DontDareCallMeDarling · 30/06/2026 00:13

Yep big difference. I know where the Asda is and I would drive there. I've no reason to go to Asda 250 miles from home on public transport in an unfamiliar part of the country. And I wasn't going to Asda so I don't understand the relevance of your question.

Sorry darling, I was just wondering the relevance of mentioning NT.

How many buses for that 250 miles?

How did you fall at the very last hurdle?

How, having fallen, could you take umbridge with someone helping you with their local knowledge?

I usually find that a "Thank you" suffices.

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 30/06/2026 01:24

Was the bus driver Charlie Drake?

occamsrazor26 · 30/06/2026 01:28

Sounds like he was trying to be nice and it was wasted on you. Where I grew up everyone was pet and love. Get over it.

HelenaWaiting · 30/06/2026 01:32

I wonder how you'd cope with being incessantly called "pet" (with the occasional "bonnie lass") if you lived near me?

tinyspiny · 30/06/2026 02:46

Not something I’d get worked up about

Pansykavalier · 30/06/2026 03:06

He may have just been using a local endearment, or he may have been patronising.

I remember a phone conversation with a Mancunian plumber. We had recently moved there from London and I can’t help sounding somewhat posh. He was very clearly talking down to me. In addition to all the ‘loves’ there were repeated references to ‘you may want to check this with your husband’…

However, it’s not something that is worth getting worked up about.

Maddy70 · 30/06/2026 04:11

He was being helpful. I'm a northerner we call everyone darling or love

DelectableMe · 30/06/2026 05:45

Maddy70 · 30/06/2026 04:11

He was being helpful. I'm a northerner we call everyone darling or love

This ⬆️. I live in Yorkshire, men and women call everyone My Love or Lovey. It's just being friendly.

bedfrog · 30/06/2026 05:52

Don't come to Scotland, where everyone will call you hen!!