I know it's unreasonable because you're strangers on the internet, but give me your armchair diagnosis

[Ihaveneedofwaternear]

It's my day off. I can't relax. This is me every day off. Up a height with anxiety. Frozen to the sofa wanting to move. Trying to sort tasks, then feeling overwhelmed by anxiety. On edge that my DH will come down and find me doing nothing and think I'm lazy. Endlessly worried about things I haven't done at work. Yet behind at work because I also have this weird, frozen thing there. Also can't go and buy clothes for myself, not showered today, feel anxious about really simple things like the shopping.

Technically shouldn't be on the edge of my nerves and on the brink of a breakdown, but am because I feel like this all the time.

I know it sounds like an anxiety disorder, but I have nothing to be anxious about - this inability to do things and constant thinking thinking thinking is the main thing that makes life difficult!

Are you like this? What is it? How do you fix it?

This is great advice

I haven’t read the whole thread but have you had your iron levels and b12 levels checked? And if so, are they optimal rather than just acceptable. 3 years ago I spent a lot of my life absolutely gripped by just overwhelming fear, doom, I felt absolutely frozen by it. Multiple doctors tried to put me on antidepressants but I was adamant it was something else. It was exactly like you say in your op, I had nothing to be anxious about. This went on for several years, worse around my cycle, and on an off chance a practice nurse looked at my blood results and she commented that although everything was “normal” they were also really low, and suggested i take prescription dose ferrous sulphate and b12, and the difference is incredible. It’s taken a while but that was a year ago and I was just thinking yesterday how much better I am now.

I actually do think it is for me a trait of adhd which does run in my family, exacerbated by anaemia, and other factors. I also last summer when I was really struggling used a hypnosis for anxiety and adhd, and I also bought really high strength cbd patches which also really helped at the time.

I am similar and my guess would be sleep deprivation. I am chronically tired. On the rare occasions I get enough rest I am a new calm efficient and capable woman. So if, unlike me, you CAN sleep, do more of it is my advice!

Also agree that b12, folate, ferritin and vit d can be an issue.

Life long hypothyroidism could explain my issues. It’s not been stable in peri. And I’ve definitely had issues with b12 and particularly folate.

I also have to prioritise protein. The brain uses a lot of energy. We do need more in midlife. For bones brain and muscles.

I can forget to eat and loose weight quickly. I’ve had to intensely focus on meal routines. I had to make it a “special focus” for a while. I’m a lot better if I’ve had a big breakfast and had over 30 G protein.

I can’t take hrt and I think tamoxifen actually does make thinking worse on its own, aside from pushing you into menopause. (I’m not sure) I was much worse last year when folate levels were low. B12 kept dropping till I went back onto supplements which I’ve always taken.

I also suspect I’m self medicating with high strength dark chocolate…😆

it could be burn out. part timers burn out too. don’t underestimate the weight of home admin and basically being a full time housekeeper while also dealing with kids and work. by the time you're peri you are exhausted.

im sitting here typing when i should be submitting meter readings before the leccy price goes up. but to do that i need into the cupboard. which has stuff in front of it. a chair and crap. im tired and cannot be bothered. so im just sitting typing. im not lazy. just tired and menopausal. things overwhelm. i’ll get round to it in five.

Paralysis on making decisions is indicative of ADHD. Women particularly are very good at masking until you reach burnout so just because you are not young it does not mean you do not have it. People with ADHD can have poor executive function, struggle to focus, can be impulsive or paralysis in decisions. All of which can also be part of an anxiety disorder. Perimenopause can exacerbate ADHD/ASD.

Another adding to the ADHD/peri-menopause suggestion. There are very good reasons why women start to be diagnosed in their late 30s/40s.

I really would suggest you look at doing the self screen OP.

Were you like this as a child too? It does sound a lot like what happens to me and I do have ADHD and ASD (diagnosed), but I was the same in childhood too. ADHD can worsen at different times of your life but will always have been there as it’s something you’re born with.

Hows your vegetable and fibre intake? I always feel more anxious if I haven't eaten much greens, enough fibre. Also foods like avocado and dairy are good at boosting serotonin. I have ADHD but you can still have ADHD and be medicated and feel anxious! You should treat the symptom first. In terms of underlying cause its probably lots of things, anxiety exists for a reason, it's the body's warning sign. Do you live your life in line with your values? Anxiety always bothers me when that is out of sync.

It’s because typical female presentation wasn’t well recognized when we were children. Now more is known about it people are being late diagnosed. Perimenopause can sometimes heighten traits but they won’t just start at that time, perimenopause can also cause similar symptoms in some people. If it’s ADHD traits will always have been there as it’s something you’re born with, it’s part of the diagnosis criteria.

How long is it until over half the population have ADHD? Then it just becomes the norm? Surely then we need to look at society as the issue rather than the humans struggling to live in it?

Oooh this too! I also did the same thing with my levels of iron and B12 and I agree this also made a huge difference

Well considering it’s underdiagnosed in this country and only 3-5% have it. Never. Read the link below and educate yourself.

https://www.england.nhs.uk/long-read/report-of-the-independent-adhd-taskforce-part-1/

I would hazard a guess that, like a lot of women, if you were asked to do a meter reading for someone else you’d do it in a heartbeat.

Imagine if we could somehow pool our resources together and do little tasks for each other that we can’t find the motivation to do for ourselves 😂

I know why we weren’t diagnosed as children but also know the link with hormonal changes. Perimenopause does increase ADHD symptoms and can make any strategies previously developed less helpful.

youre so right. i put myself and what i need to do last.

And this menopausal memory and forgetting stuff omg it’s a joke.

Do you know since i typed my post i started watching tv, cooked breakfast and ate it, watched the end of the programme, and completely forgot about the meter reading!!!

what is wrong with me! how is that even possible 😝

stupid menopause.

Was also going to suggest burn out.

I’ve had repeated burnout my whole life (which is one indicator of adhd 😆 can’t win!)

It’s harder now though. It’s a complete physical shut down and/ or migraine.

Thanks so much for all the discussion from you armchair psychologists. I think after more reflection today that I am primarily very, very tired and possibly heading towards burnout.

I think I need to address that first, and by meeting some more basic needs for sleep (if I can!), rest, time alone, better diet, time for things I enjoy etc, it might clear the way a bit to see if there's more to it than that - ADHD, anxiety disorder, whatever. It's definitely a life long issue that's worsened, so I will consider the things raised on this thread in time as well.

Either way addressing many of those things will help. Many people/ children with adhd do not necessarily have medication (which is noted in the nhs link upthread) but do have a lot of adjustments/ support/ are taught strategies or skills that really help. I know one little boy who’s main strategy is an awful lot of football; he’s exceptionally good at it and climbing up the leagues/ being talent spotted etc. parents and school have had so many issues with him previously. This works for him. (He can crash though so still needs support.)

A colleague who has adhd recently commented that she felt modern life didn’t suit many of us and would she still have an issue if she’d lived in the past, working the land etc, eating a cleaner diet and more routine life with a tight community around her?

This! Everyone has traits but only some have the condition.

I found the episode of this podcast on burnout useful.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/brand/p0mcyd0k?partner=uk.co.bbc&origin=share-mobile

Unfortunately I found the adhd episode far too familiar. The video Bertie bots posted upthread was more what I understand adhd to be via my teaching and I don’t recognise as me.

I have always been highly imaginative and distractable and it can be an issue (especially when I end up taking far longer than others to do things as I’m going down all the rabbit holes to be thorough) but I’ve taught myself many strategies over the years. Self compassion is one of the most important.

Autism. Had a raft of diagnoses throughout my life, inc anxiety disorder / panic disorder, and when I was a child I was diagnosed with childhood schizophrenia. I'm autistic and have really crappy OCD. I spent a long time being treated for anxiety disorder instead of OCD. Intrusive thoughts just aren't the same as compulsive thoughts - hello burnout. Once I was diagnosed properly and using appropriate management techniques, I was fine.

It sounds a lot like my anxiety issues (I refuse to call it a disorder), ADHD and my PTSD.
Is there anything in your childhood/youth that may be the root? I found what my trigger was after months of super intensive therapy and it was a stupidly small thing!

I am like this when I am very busy at work - it’s like my brain goes into overdrive but can’t start anything because it’s flitting from thing to thing and worrying.

The way I deal with it is to make a list and break down each task into an action. Then I start and don’t stop till I have finished the first action, then that set of tasks.

So if it’s clean the kitchen it’s get the cloth, wash the dishes, wipe the surfaces, hoover mop. Don’t let myself be distracted by ideas of cleaning the bathroom or watering the garden. Finish and tick off, then have a cup of coffee and a biscuit.