UK parents: what are you passing on to your children?

[HauntedBungalow]

I recently rewatched One Battle After Another and got to thinking about the notion of legacy. How we all want to pass on a better world to our children but we can't, because the world doesn't "get better". About the best we can do is hand over a world, and a gun, like the film.

But in the UK, we can't even do that. So, with that in mind, what are you personally handing over?

Mine includes : never answer police questions; wherever you go know how to say "I'm in trouble and I need help"; always have a bank account nobody knows about; never trust a hippy; never trust a fascist.

Why the hippy one? I don't get that

Why wouldn’t you answer police questions? Never been asked anything by police so am curious. Also the hippy,
Ive told my kids not to rely on anyone. Ever.

I’m disabled.

I go to the police quite frequently usually to ask stuff like where’s the disabled loo and any idea where the assistance desk is

no idea why you wouldn’t answer their questions.

i gave my kids the knowledge that most rules are just guidelines.

Why wouldn’t you do all you can to help the police?

Those rules seem rather different to what I'd teach my own child. If my daughter grows up to understand that no person is better than another regardless of wealth, background, race etc, knows when to be kind and when to stand up for herself, knows how to be content and happy and to have a respect for nature and the world we live in, then I'll be happy.

Never answer police questions is bad advice. Much better advice would be to never answer police questions without a lawyer present.

So if the police ask you to see your ring doorbell footage you tell them to wait for your legal team to arrive? Really? If you have done nothing wrong, what have you to lose?

As others have said re police comment - it seems to be based on an assumption that they will questioned by police who are not to be trusted.

Re asking being in trouble and asking for help - let’s hope that does not include the police

I think these things are biased advice and based on your own prejudices

Treat others as you would wish to be treated.

respect yourself and others

love is stronger than hate

The never trust a hippy thing is an old quote.Turns out lots of hippies in the 60s turned into money makers/would steal your grandma if you turned your back on them.Think Richard Branson I suppose.Seems an odd thing to tell your kid now.Can you explain op? It's the sort of thing my Dad used to say - how old are you?

I'm handing down to my kids to be kind and inclusive.We are all quite happy that guns are not available. I guess you shouldn't ever trust us.

OP - I think at least one of the things on your list is actively bad advice which will harm your children. At least one more is phrased horribly, and if your children talk like that they will also harm themselves.

Never answe police questions is madness and could lead to them getting into serious troube one day for refusing to. I am.trying to teach my kids to be respectful, aware id rhe environment, be kind people but not walk overs, be wise with money and dont run up debts..

Never trust anyone with extreme political views the socialists are wicked also and the two extremes meet in the middle.

My gift to my DS is music. I’m a very keen amateur musician. He’s 20 and he is too, having had years of lessons and experience of playing in bands. Neither of us are professionals, but as amateurs it’s a brilliant hobby for so many reasons.

My other gift to my DCs is organisation skills. Sort your life out! Be prepared. Get there on time. Look smart. Do stuff on time. Get up and go. Think the best of others. Trust gut feel.

"Never answer police questions"

What century do you think this is? Where are these places where such a thought even entered your head? How much contact do your children have with the police? Why? In the UK we can't really pass anything on to our kids. We dont have that type of society. A good sense of humour is probably the most useful.

Don't automatically trust drs question everything.

If you want something you save for it
Don't judge others
Health and happiness is more important then money and stuff

This 💯!
Black Belt Barrister posted some informative videos on his channel about being questioned by the police and how to respond.

I think being questioned for a serious crime is massively different to just refusing to answer police questions if they need help with something or its something minor like a traffic stop

'Scandinavia with Simon Reeves' is a great alternative watch to provide an alternative perspective re societies that don't support mass gun ownership and mistrust of others, (whilst being pragmatic about defence and investing in it) but are generally thriving with better life expectancy and happiness ratings than those that do (unsurprisingly really).

I will be passing on to mine that gun ownership for protection's sake is a daft approach and one that we should resist taking on here.

Try watching his video before replying. Black Belt Barrister doesn’t just speak about being “questioned for a serious crime”.

Always have the means to make your own income. If you have trained for a career and you give up work to become a SAHP keep your skills and networks up to date, and do bits of consultancy or volunteer work. Be visible on LinkedIn (I know it’s cringe but out of sight is out of mind otherwise). I know too many women who have taken 5 years or more out of work to raise a family only to find they can no longer get well paid jobs in their specialism. Over 40% of marriages break down and having the means to support yourself and your children makes you much less vulnerable.

Don’t hide your light so that someone else can shine - and don’t trust anyone who wants you to do that. You are not a supporting character in your own life story.

Buy the bigger house, even if you have to stretch yourself in the early days. You’ll save money in the long term because you won’t have to move again and you’ll have the house you really want.

Don’t treat others as you would wish to be treated. Treat them as THEY would wish to be treated.

Get your driving test out of the way as soon as possible once you turn 17. Lessons aren’t going to get any cheaper, being able to drive opens up more job opportunities, and it’s something you don’t need to think about again.

Never rely on anyone financially.

Once the bills are paid, enjoy half & save half of what's left

Life will be happier and less stressful if he is kind and tolerant to his family

Keep trying - there is always a way

You are teaching your kids the world is a terrible place and trust no-one.

Now I am in my fifties I have gradually realised the value of small c conservative values. I’d like to help my kids to see that they are capable and have agency to shape their own lives, to see the freedom and opportunity within whatever limitations they face. I’d like them to see failures as inevitable and part of learning, not a reason to despair and give up. I’d like them to see the value of working hard and taking responsibility for themselves.

I’d like them to know that having a family and kids is one of the most meaningful things they can do. That good relationships with other people and living a life with purpose and meaning is the way to a good life. To let them know that there will always be ruptures in relationships and that they need to be repaired.

i’d like them to see a good marriage as one of mutual service between spouses and to know that a marriage without gratitude cannot survive. To know that whatever is important to their spouse needs to become important to them, and vice versa.

I’d hope that they will reject the current cult of individuality and endless navel gazing to discover their ‘identity’ or ‘authentic’ self. Because a secure sense of self comes from having a sense of capability, agency, purpose and community. Not finding a label online and trying to force everyone else to ‘respect’ it. That way endlessly fragility lies.

Even better still, ‘never do anything that would get you in a position whereby the police would need to question you in the presence of a lawyer’.