To ask my family to have the flu jab this year?

[BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw]

This is a genuine AIBU because i’m not sure and I see some crazy “rules” around new babies and postpartum bubbles these days. I also don’t want to be one of those people who act like they’re the first person in the world to have a baby.

Anyway…

I’m currently pregnant and due right before Christmas. The most likely situation is that I will have a very fresh baby for Christmas this year and I know well meaning family will want to come and visit and meet baby. We also would like to celebrate Christmas although obviously not sure what that will look like yet.

Would it be reasonable to ask that anyone who wants to meet baby over Christmas has the flu jab this year?

You realise that vaccinations aren’t miracles don’t you? They don’t actually stop anything 🤷‍♀️

I dont think the flu jab is the answer - people still get ill. I was fuming Christmas 2024 as we arrived for Xmas day and hadnt been told MIL had full on plague and one of the kids had a temp of 40, have one child at increased risk with respiratory issues and a tiny prem baby. It wrecked new year for us as everyone got ill, but MIL was saying “it’s not flu, i had the jab, you had the RSV jab” - it’s more about people’s approach and being mindful, a jab won’t help. I’d have some gentle chats in the lead up to due date and say you don’t want to see poorly people with a new born. Hopefully you’ll have better luck than me!

This

That's fine if you can and are willing but some people have good reasons to hesitate. One of mine is going through something and the flu or the jab could now cause months of suffering, if not longer, for them. I also have autoimmune conditions, so hesitate. Especially since I got the flu from a vaccinated person last year. My health is important too. Considering the situation with my own child at home, I'd have to decline meeting the baby, even if it was my grandchild, if that was a condition of doing so. They'd just have to understand.

I have it most years. Sometimes I forget… very much pro vaxxing but wouldn’t like being told what to do in order to visit a baby, especially as if the mum got her own flu shot while pregnant the baby would be protected.

Op I'm with you but I can't imagine this will go well
People don't even like to wash their hands with new Born's or not kiss them with cold sores . People are very selfish and naval gazing they want their hugs and don't care about anything else.

I had a December baby so he had many visitors for Christmas and New Year in his first few weeks. No one came obviously ill and all was fine, and it was lovely to have company after a difficult pregnancy and birth that restricted me significantly.

Second baby was born at a different time of year. Toddler went to nursery and ended up getting chicken pox when baby was 7 weeks, and by 9 weeks I had a spotty, grumpy baby. Life carries on and you deal with what unfolds. Second+ babies can't be kept in micro-managed environments.

You can't police other people's health, particularly asking for vaccinations (which are not absent of risk) in people whom public health policy feels that they are not of sufficient benefit. The supply isn't infinite either and there are people with greater personal need who benefit from access to them.

I'd be put off visiting if I was asked to be vaccinated because I'd worry about being blamed for any ailments developing after that point.

Absolutely have your vaccinations because they are yours and baby's best defence, but you can not ask it of anyone else.

Flu jab will protect them from the symptoms of the Flu.

It won't prevent them passing in on.

I get what you're saying and I would like to think those visiting your baby are in good health but if your ask is get the jab to stop them passing it on, that's an impossibility I'm afraid

WTF?? The flu jab does not stop the common cold, if someone has the flu they wouldn't be visiting you!

It’ll be up to you as parent to control who/how many people you mix with when baby’s here it’s up to you who holds baby and for how long and you can ask people to wash hands and refrain from kissing baby but imo it’s a big step too far to suggest they get vaccinated. Obviously make sure to get all the prenatal vaccinations that you can and yes, breastfeeding is another fab way to protect baby.

Bonkers. It takes a village OP - be very careful how you tread or else there will be no villagers!

FWIW the flu vaccine is rarely very effective due to constant strain mutations that occur each year. Scientists have to take an educated guess based on the Australian flu season and hope for the best. Last year for example the efficacy was at an all time low and the vaccine didn’t prove very beneficial at all. I am sure your family have the common sense to stay away from baby if they’re ill, just like millions of people have done for centuries.

You can ask, and they can say either yes or no. But there are so many other horrible viruses, so protecting against one virus wouldn't be a massive benefit to you really (I say that as someone who has the flu jab every year).

You can now only get the Covid jab if you are over 75 or otherwise vulnerable, so few visitors will be covered by the Covid jab.

Skipped to the end. Myself and DH are immunosuppressed so have some scope here in regards to people protecting us.

Honestly your best options are to have the flu jab whilst pregnant as it offers baby some protection. Ensure people don't come if showing illness or have sickness in their household. If all ok then they wash their hands on arrival and don't kiss baby. If that's not enough you could supply some medical grade masks and ask people to pop one of those on. You however can't ask for people to be vaccinated against something that they wouldn't ordinarily do I'm afraid.

Yes it’s too much imo (I’m also pregnant and think it’s a bit of a PFB request) I would personally just ensure to have the flu jab during pregnancy which will protect your baby as much as possible. Anyone that comes over and sees baby has to wash hands and no kissing, limit bit groups and that’s enough.

You can ask but they can say no.
Just be aware that sometimes the flu vaccine is not particular affective some years so I would focus more on asking people stay away if they are feeling any bit unwell. They may assume because they got the flu jab that they are fine to visit.

I mean you can ask, but you will come across completely batshit- because you are to even think its reasonable to ask. And you'll be back in mumsnet in a year or so wondering why you dont have a " village" .

Totally unreasonable. If you care about your baby getting sick breast feed It's the best immunity you can give it.

So you want people to cough up money and maybe feel crap as you are having a baby??? Hmm

Thought you get flu jab yourself when pregnant anyway

The flu jab only helps the person who has it and prevents nasty complications

its of no benefit to your baby

a healthy person can visit you then leave develop flu after . Having spread it around your home unwittingly

i personally have it to reduce my potential complications

kindly - get a grip

Can't believe so many people think protecting your tiny baby is unreasonable, I'm shocked! I did exactly this for my baby born early January this year - nobody had an issue with it, and if they had said no I don't want a flu jab id have just said fine, you'll have to wait until flu season has passed to meet him. Your job is to keep your baby safe - don't feel at all bad for doing that! A friend's baby caught bronchitis at 3 days old and spent over a week in hospital on oxygen, it's not worth the risk.

Didn't you have the flu jab when pregnant? That would pass antibodies to your baby

Yes, I did. That doesn't mean I didn't want to be cautious. None of my family had an issue with getting a flu jab to help protect their tiny new relative. It's hardly a big ask, whether you think it helps much or not

I am going to go against the grain here and say I think this is reasonable. They can obviously choose to not visit, but really getting the flu jab is no big issue. I also got a flu jab in pregnancy which I understand provides some protection but only for the first few weeks of life.

Hmmwhat about the hospital staff if you arent having homebirth? Visiting midwife? Health visitor? Husband?

Thinking of it myDD had the jab when pregnant but no one said anything about her husband should have it

Assume it must be a first baby or are siblings being kept away?

But why is it a big deal to get the flu jab? Ofc you can’t vet every single person (although I think NHS staff are all offered it for free) but why not just ask visitors to try to reduce risk given it’s £15, has v minor side effects and helps you avoid flu anyway. Obviously family members can choose to decline and see the baby when flu season is over.

I always get the flu jab in any case because I bloody hate being ill and £15 is worth it to me.

Are you an anti-vaxxer or something?