To ask my family to have the flu jab this year?

[BakedPotatoBeansCheeseColeslaw]

This is a genuine AIBU because i’m not sure and I see some crazy “rules” around new babies and postpartum bubbles these days. I also don’t want to be one of those people who act like they’re the first person in the world to have a baby.

Anyway…

I’m currently pregnant and due right before Christmas. The most likely situation is that I will have a very fresh baby for Christmas this year and I know well meaning family will want to come and visit and meet baby. We also would like to celebrate Christmas although obviously not sure what that will look like yet.

Would it be reasonable to ask that anyone who wants to meet baby over Christmas has the flu jab this year?

the flu jab varies in its effectiveness so far more useful is to say that people who are unwell can’t visit.

Because it's a matter of personal choice and you can't demand that anyone have it because it's their body and not yours. Personally I get all the vaccines going that I am offered. I have no issue with it. My mum can't have it because of an anaphylactic response in the past. I also have a couple of friends who are immunocompromised and they cannot have it either. So in this scenario none of them would get to see the baby even though they might be perfectly well? I think common sense has gone out of the window when people insist that others get vaccinations in order to have access to a visit with a baby. Plus, guess what, you can have the jab and still get flu! And still be infectious and still pass it on! The best you can do is to be well on the day - vaccine or no vaccine - and for the mother of the child to have had all of their vaccines during and after pregnancy.

What difference would a jab make? If they have flu they won't be able to visit you...

Just tell them to be normal and not visit when they have cold instead.

There’s nothing wrong with getting a flu jab if you feel you need it. The issue is asking family to have it before they come and meet your baby is a bit much.

OP you do realise plenty of babies have been born in the winter months since the beginning of time?

I have my own reasons for not having the flu jab. It would be a no from me, you carnt expect this..

Family member had Guillian-Barre Syndrome after a flu jab and we don’t think it’s worth the risk as DH is the only person in the family to have ever had flu and he’s only had it once.

Sorry to hear you didnt get to breastfeed.
Over 90 percent of women are able to, eventhough some need lots of support to do so.

I wouldn't want to be near anyone who didn't get a flu jab anyway. How selfish. Do you know many dim people who aren't aware that flu kills huge numbers of vulnerable people every year, and puts a massive unnecessary strain on the NHS? And that even though they might be healthy and recover fine, and even if they're not themselves showing symptoms, they can easily infect people who are less healthy and do not recover? Just explain it to them, and if they still can't grasp it, distance yourself. You'll never be able to trust someone around your children if they won't even take basic safety precautions to protect others. They'll be the sort of person who 'accidentally' leaves the front door open, or 'accidentally' leaves open medication lying around, definitely not worth the risk.

I'm one of those vulnerable people. I carnt have the injection for medical reasons. I would never ever expect anyone to have a flu jab and certainly wouldn't quilt trip them into having it like you have just tried.

You do realise unless you’re a hermit you’re near people every day who won’t have had the jab.

As much as the flu jab might protect people to some extent from getting the flu in the first place, I think what would be much more reasonable and much more effective at preventing any spread of illness is making sure visitors aren't full of cold or unwell, and that they wash their hands or use hand gel before holding the baby. This is a really common ask. Someone can still have a cold or the flu even if they've had the jab, so i don't think it would make much of a difference - but hand washing and sending poorly people away will! X

I wouldn’t, don’t need it, might do more harm than good.
wouldn’t see you if unwell

Surely if family and friends are unwell they’d not visit anyway?

But you are near people not having a flu jab. Unless you never leave home or have visitors. That's called life...

What about covid jab? Other jabs?

Is the correlation between not having a flu jab and being a general danger to children something that's been studied? Where are you getting such a frankly bonkers link from?

You can't seriously believe that surely

It's as valid as me saying that your post makes you sound like someone who still washes their shopping

How on earth are you determining who has had a flu jab before you come into contact with them? Do you never go out in public? The majority of the population have not had a flu jab.

Incidentally, DH is having cancer treatment and his Oncologist said he needed to have a flu jab. I asked should I get one too if it helps protect DH and he said no, it won’t be helpful at all.

More importantly make sure you get the RSV jab yourself when offered it.

As a family we do all get the flu jab because DS and some other family members are vulnerable but you can’t control others it has to be personal choice.

I'd happily get the flu jab if a pregnant family member asked me to. It's cheap, safe, and well worth it both to reduce the risk of passing on germs to a tiny baby and to give the new parents peace of mind.

They could still have got the germs, just not gone down with it yet.

Are you never going to leave the house, OP?

They could also have colds, coughs, shingles, nits etc.

Breastfeeding will help with immunity.

You can't police other people's medical choices.

I know that some people have previously had the flu jab and it’s made them feel unwell, so understandable that they wouldn’t chose to have it. Plus others have a needle
phobia. But aside from that, it’s only around £15 to have a flu jab in a pharmacy, so unless someone is properly hard up, I don’t get why people wouldn’t have it TBH. It probably costs that £15 in medication if you catch it and even more if you are losing pay if unable to work.

I have often had the flu jab over the years and definitely always get it now after being laid out with flu over Christmas a couple of years back feeling really really rough.

BUT, I don't think it's helpful to have a flu jab debate here. What is really important is your attitude and anxiety to risk. Which takes a turn towards to the crazy in all good expectant and new mothers! But it's worth thinking this through. As another anecdote only, I can tell you that the year I suffered badly with flu I was the only unvaccinated person in my household. My DH and children also suffered despite the vaccine. 🤷‍♀️ No that's not me denying it's effectiveness -anecdote again - it was me who was the worse affected, and I believe the vaccine is an important tool in keeping it under control at a population level. My convoluted point is that you cannot control everything, or much at all really, and the most useful thing you can do is to relax. Make sure your siblings know that you are a bit worried about winter bugs and a new baby (quite rightly to an extent) and ask them nicely to be mindful and not visit unless they are feeling healthy.

But from one uptight mother to another, trust me, the healthiest thing you can do you for children is to unclench a bit. Save the crazy for the really big battles! You are doing your best already which tells us you are going to be amazing. Good luck! x

It IS a big ask.

Thank you for your kind reply 🤗