To wonder when people got so selfish

[DoubleEspressoForMe]

Over the last few days with my windows open all the time, I've really realised how little people care about how much they impact on other people. I am a dog owner, but I have been hearing a dog bark for well over an hour somewhere nearby. Its not that late in the morning. I'd be mortified if my dogs were disturbing others at any time of the day, let alone a Saturday morning. Not only that, the dog is clearly unhappy!

Things like this, or making noise in gardens late at night when everyone clearly has their own windows open. Or smoking weed all day so everyone else can smell it. Or having kids screaming at 7am in the garden on a weekend.

I was always raised to be conscious of other people, but a lot of people seem to be totally unaware or uncaring of their impact on others around them.

Perhaps it's the realisation that what used to be revered as 'the community' and 'selflessness' have been used as cover for some truly shitty behaviour over the years.

Politicians, public figures, the police, the NHS, religious leaders, the top brass in the entertainment industry have all proved themselves unworthy of respect, and have been used as cover by individuals who hold despicable views and engage in even more despicable behaviours.

I wouldn't be surprised if people have 'become selfish' because they have realised that there isn't anyone else looking out for them, and that if they choose to sacrifice their own peace of mind and put themselves out, they are just setting the bar of what will be expected of them in the future by people who never had any intention of reciprocating their generosity.

Quite an assumption going on there.

I have a solid front door with no letterbox, and a postbox on the outside wall. I like it that way for security purposes.

I definitely don't drive a BMW, unless my DD's elderly mini counts (I don't drive it though, only she does). 🤣🤣🤣

I promise I don't look down on people. 😎😎

a) Yesterday, I was in a walk-in-centre for the first time in a very long time

1. The reception desk that I was told by 111 I should go to told me very sternly I was in the wrong place and need to go to another reception without even checking if there was a referral for me - 111 had told me they referred me to an optomologist. I just followed instructions thinking she knows better than me and ended up in urgent care > general doctor
2. general doctor was rude. No other way to describe her. She didn’t even look into my eye to check why I feel I’ve got something in it and declared it’s conjunctivitis and prescribed antibiotics. I was trying to explain it started with a feeling of something sharp in my eye, it’s been painful and gritting for a whole day before it got Red and inflamed/ infected and she just looked at me blankly. Read out loud something on her screen about dry eyes and perimenopause. No questions whether I have symptoms of either.

(So, in short, all the queueing and waiting snd no one inspected my eye for foreign objects. I’m using antibiotics and hoping that’s going to be enough/ helpful. Receptionist and doctor were very self important, very impatient and arrogant. I may end up losing my eye sight forever and it’s disheartening it’s in the hands of people like that.)

1. when in the waiting room this nice looking middle-aged lady started scrolling on her Facebook with the sound on loudspeaker. She was watching some dancing/ singing posts and we all had to listen. Lots of glances her way didst change anything. She didn’t have hearing issues as she went up as soon as she was called.

b) yesterday night time when it was muggier and felt hotter than ever as no breeze at all our new neighbours lit up a bbq.
it was eight and a half when everybody had all their windows open and children would be going to bed. Terrible smoke and smell of gas. We were shocked by how ill thought and inconsiderate that was. It’s a small terrace and the gardens are on top of each other.

I don't expect silence but I shouldn't have to listen to nextdoor playing such loud music that I can't hear my TV or waking me up at 1am. Nor should I have to put up with upstairs doing DIY at 10pm

😆 🤣 sorry in response to @AImportantMermaid with the Friends theme tune!

What’s he supposed to do - carry his motorbike to the end of the road?

At least if he’s doing 60 he’ll be gone quickly and the noise will only last a few seconds 😆

I think it's more that people lack tolerance and have an unrealistic expectation of silence and privacy.

You only have to read the threads in the last few days to see how batshit people have become. There are posters wanting their neighbours not to dry their underwear outside in case their DH see it, wanting them to move their BBQs, and wanting to suggest creating timetables for using the garden...

If you need silence or cannot bear the smell of someone having a BBQ, don't move to a house close to other people.

Seriously? How about driving it at 20 so it doesn’t wake the entire street up? I could hear next doors baby screaming her head off after he went past last night.

But motorbikes are inherently noisy. Would it be any better at 20?

Yes, of course it would. It's perfectly possible to drive a motor cycle more slowly and carefully and it would be a lot quieter - in fact they're pretty silent when cruising with low throttle, just coasting to a stop. Contrast that to some noisy sod revving and speeding and the sound will be several times more noisy.

Some of the music played loud on public transport could be the result of phones not having ear/headphones jacks anymore. Before this, left your earphones at home? Go into Poundland or a cheap shop to buy some earphones to keep you tied over.

i don’t remember anyone playing music on their loudspeakers when phones had jacks on them

Exactly this, which is spot on what he does. It backfires a couple of times for good measure.

Oh fair enough then, that’s not helpful.

My neighbour 2 doors down plays her music so loudly! I can’t sit in my garden in peace to read. Such selfish behaviour and ironically she’s the first to complain if someone does the slightest thing she doesn’t like. Tried knocking on her door to complain, but inevitably she couldn’t hear me!!

We’ve had to endure noisy shagging 🤢
The woman is hard enough to endure as she is

None of us can completely avoid being annoying to others - a lot of the time you don't even know you've been annoying eg when you take a parking space (legitimately because you were there first) that someone else had their eye on.

But when you know you are being noisy, or taking up a whole path, or letting your kids run around getting in the way of the waiting staff in a cafe, or letting your dog bark most of the night, that IS something you can do something about.

No, what idiot decided that it would be a good idea to remove the headphone jacks?

You can use the USB plug though. I suspect the headphones that plug in there are a lot more expensive however, My DH has quite an old phone and doesn't want it to give up the ghost as it has a headphone jack.

The teachers I know say 2001 when parents started turning up at schools if they told their children off.

I am thinking of moving. People used to remark on how quiet it was where we live - not anymore. If we are going to continue to get hot summers I need a quieter neighbourhood.

On the BBQ point, it's madness to have one when it's 35 degrees. By all means burn your own house down but don't risk mine! Same goes for garden bonfires.

Or just don't play music then

That's a different point. I'm not sure it was that way round, either. Teachers used to tell kids off and discipline them in school.

Then they decided to start phoning parents up for every minor misdemeanour. Yes you involve parents for serious things, but not everyday nonsense that kids get up to in school and for which teachers have ample sanctions.

I grew up on a council estate, terraced houses, back garden to back garden - so the back garden was immediately surrounded by 3 other gardens. Two gardens enclosing the front and another row of terraced houses across the (narrow) street. Everyone was in everyone's pocket.
On summer days the majority of neighbours would have their doors and windows open, kids would be in paddling pools in the gardens or playing in the street. Most people were playing music. Reggae from the next door neighbour, classic rock from my dad, rave music to the other side, heavy metal across the road. People had BBQs in the day, bonfires in the evening (they would shout over the fence to warn eachother so you had a chance to get your washing in).
Do you know how much resentment or fighting it caused? None. Because people understood that when you live near other people you'll see and hear other people.
I think people are more inconsiderate now - of how their neighbours have a right to live their lives as much as we have the right to live ours.

Well said!

You need to be having a word with him/her! Thats not fair

People on here, some of them, show you what goes on , in the inside of selfish peoples heads. their responses are oblivious and drone like: ‘ don’t look then’ is typical of their response..
the sad truth is that a lot of people are dead inside and heavily armoured. They don’t look, don’t see, don’t care. And they try to numb others, to join them in numbness.
it’s the opposite of awake and with a good heart, and it’s an epidemic.

awake with a good heart = treat others well
drone numb inside = it’s my right to be shitty