To wonder when people got so selfish

[DoubleEspressoForMe]

Over the last few days with my windows open all the time, I've really realised how little people care about how much they impact on other people. I am a dog owner, but I have been hearing a dog bark for well over an hour somewhere nearby. Its not that late in the morning. I'd be mortified if my dogs were disturbing others at any time of the day, let alone a Saturday morning. Not only that, the dog is clearly unhappy!

Things like this, or making noise in gardens late at night when everyone clearly has their own windows open. Or smoking weed all day so everyone else can smell it. Or having kids screaming at 7am in the garden on a weekend.

I was always raised to be conscious of other people, but a lot of people seem to be totally unaware or uncaring of their impact on others around them.

Also it’s a vicious cycle I think. People still trying to be more community-spirited and mindful of others eventually get fed up with others not giving them the same consideration and think “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em”.

This!!! If the people who are “in power” can’t follow the rules you can’t expect the rest of us to. It’s like the environmental groups telling us all not to fly and don’t drive, but it’s okay for them to do it. They can always justify their actions!!!

Hmmm you might make that assumption about me then. But in my case it’s entirely because of domestic abuse from my ex husband who threatened to burn my house down, hence the outside postbox and solid door… so try not to judge a book by its cover, you never know what’s going on in people’s lives behind closed doors. I don’t drive by the way.

People aren't taught to behave themselves anymore.

A lot of parents are lacking in that department, not actually teaching their children how to behave in society.

Yes all of this. Then it comes to the stage where you’re the only one trying to be considerate and you just think, well fuck it what’s the point,

It's definitely got worse over the last few years. Loud late parties, playing music out loud on public transport, not stopping children from being a nuisance running around restaurants or screaming, not giving up a seat on the bus to someone who needs it or making space for a wheelchair user - everyone makes some noise and nobody is perfect - that's fair enough but it's the lack of consideration for others. It's always been there to some extent but definitely worse now. I also feel sad that we are losing small interactions, at the bank or post office or supermarket, as these become more and more automated. I think these are all linked as we more and more live in an online bubble and other people perhaps just don't register like they used to.

People don’t like to be have responsibilities and accountability

Still a very odd assumption. I have a large menagerie of animals and, even with all the training in the world, they sometimes make noise. I have a gate to keep them in and I choose not to have neighbours because I’m being considerate and I don’t want to disturb anyone else. I’m certainly not “looking down” on anyone!

Yep we live surrounded by them. I hate it. Sad state of things.

It really is a “sad state of affairs!!” And it’s just getting worse.

No it’s definitely got worse. You didn’t use to get people talking all through the film or get their phones out or chat in the theatre, Let alone listen to whole podcasts or concerts on trains and buses.

I think it’s because people teach their children to express themselves and hate anyone giving them any boundaries, including being considerate. If you’ve never been told to consider anyone else than it feels oppressive.

I do wonder if other people ever get on their nerves????

We have a dickhead on a motorbike zooming past at 60mph on our 20mph road at 3am every morning, not caring about the fact we all live in terraces with our bedrooms at the front and the windows open. He lives a 100m down the road. I want to empty our poo bags on his bike.

But that's exactly what people are talking about.

Some people seem to have decided that authorities not practicing what they preached means they now just do whatever they want and anyone objecting is trying to be a hypocrite so people dig their heels in and seem to enjoy being antisocial, hoping someone objects so they can call them a Karen.

Whereas the appropriate response should've been well the Tories or my neighbours having a party were dicks and I don't want to be like that.

Instead people proved they were dicks all along and just wanted the excuse of blaming the government or others for their own shitty behaviour.

Blasting out your music in public spaces or letting your kids run wild isn't sticking it to the man, proving you're special and will life on your own terms and anyone who objects needs to get over it.

Its just making other people suffer because you're a bit of an asshole.

The only one that would bother me is the weed (if you can smell it you are being exposed to it).

Noise is expected in a built up area.

Yep. They ripped the piss out of us. People had to go into hospital alone and stay alone even if they were dying. Old people discharged from the hospitals into care homes where the virus spread like wid fire. No gatherings with family all over Christmas. Daily briefings from the government that myself, dh and sons made sure to watch every night to get the latest updates and “instructions”. Then we find out that a senior advisor to Johnson broke the ‘rules’ to drive to where he fancied going. This was dressed up as “testing his eyesight”. THEN it comes to light that there were numerous parties attended by government officials plus the health secretary, who stood at the briefings lecturing us carrying on with some woman in his office!! Complete and utter piss take. No wonder things have all taken a downward turn here. Lead by example you top-hat-wearing-over-privileged-no-rules-apply-to-me cunts

I agree with you!! I was just pointing out why a lot more people don’t follow the rules and have become more entitled and selfish, especially since Covid.

Lockdown undoubtedly made it worse, but there were lots of selfish/arrogant people long before covid!! Our neighbour at my office was an entitled, arrogant, selfish tosser 20 years ago when I first moved there. He's actually mellowed a bit over the years and actually slightly helpful during lockdowns!

I agree with @HonestLilacWriter Social media, the rise of individualism and a rise in narcissism plus the pandemic has made people much more selfish, aggressive and confrontational. Maybe a little crazy too. I’ve gone off the human race somewhat in the last 10 years as kindness & empathy seem to be in short supply.

I think lack of enforcement by the police, local councils, and other authorities is one of the major causes, as it's all been getting worse over the past couple of decades. They make it hard to report things, and then when you do, you never hear back and if you challenge them, they just lazily site "data protection" as to why they can't give you an update as to even if they're taking any action at all, so basically leave you in the dark.

Very true!! People used to significantly look up to “authority” figures in the past. But when the people “in power” break their own rules anarchy can arise. Then there are the cases where “authority” figures abuse their power in the most awful ways. Who do you trust?

I agree. Some recent figures in authority have been the worst behaved of all. Makes it all seem totally acceptable.

Absolutely despicable!! The former Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, knew about serial abuser John Smyth but never reported it.

People who live in flats and terraced houses, can’t really have the expectation of being undisturbed - in the winter or the summer. I think it’s a bit entitled to expect to control the actions of others. Kids cry, dogs bark and who honestly gives a shit about weed smoke - it’s there and then it’s gone. Also what’s the point in paying more for a house with outside space only for neighbours to expect you not to hang out or make any noise there. You are being very unreasonable in my view.

I could have written this post! Had this exact thought last night. Trying to get 2 children under 6 to sleep whilst close neighbours have no consideration for people around them, shouting in their garden, playing crazy loud music, then out the front barking dogs that have been left in the house with the windows open for hours. I've got noise anxiety at the best of times and this week has definitely been worse. It really does seem in the last ten years people have decided to not care how their behaviour impacts others. Reassuring to read this post though and know there are still like minded people out there 😅

As others have said I've been raised to respect other people and think outside of your space but it really does make me not want to care as much anymore 🙃