Calling the police to check on a crying baby

[summermumma2021]

Just had to call the police to check on a new neighbours baby. What would
you have done in this situation?
New neighbours live down our road around 100m away from us and could hear loud very distressed crying for over half an hour.

It sounded like a newborn or young baby crying and so I assumed they’d settle or some attempt to comfort them would be made but the crying stayed at the same level for ther period time. I could also hear raised voices and car doors slamming and I asked my husband if he’d heard it too (he was downstairs) and he said yeah he was worried as well.

Anyway in hoping it was nothing and the little one is fine but it just didn’t sit right and it sounded like no attempt to comfort them was being made at all.

i have no idea who the new neighbours are as it’s quite far from our bit of the road but for it to be that loud from this distance didn’t seem right. I have also had three colicky babies so I do know babies can cry for periods of time but as I said it sounded like no attempt to help them was being made.

Anyway police treating it as a priority case and checking things out. Just wanted to share really as worried.

Excuse me! It was late at night, I have my own three young children and I actually thought it could make it worse if I turned up assessing the situation . Rather than “couldn’t be bothered to”.

I’ll assume you missed the bit where the OP said her DH was downstairs? And no one said it was a “domestic dispute” it was a few raised voices. OP or her DH could have quite easily just gone for a walk to see what was going on before jumping in with both feet.

Your DH was downstairs, fgs. One of you could have gone.

What a pathetic comment, she did completely the right thing !!!!!

Unless I had other reasons to be concerned about the people living in that house, I'd have been more inclined to knock on the door first than call the police.

It's possible they are new parents with a colicky baby who won't settle, on a hot night when everyone is feeling frazzled and tetchy, the mum might have been struggling with BFing, they both got overwhelmed with the stress and ended up yelling at one another. I'm sure we've all been there. I know have.

I think I'd have knocked and asked if they were all okay? If I felt reassured that it was just the above situation I'd have offered to the rock the baby for 20 minutes to give them both a chance to take a break and gather themselves. As a complete stranger their instinct would probably be to say no, but sometimes even leaving your baby in the care of a middle aged woman completely unknown to you might seem better than the feeling that you might lose your mind and throw it out of the window any minute if the screaming doesn't stop.

If I got the vibes that I'd interrupted a DV situation then I'd call the police.

Op, all the posters who are saying you are wrong would be bitching and moaning if you hadn't done anything. You were worried and you did the right thing. Hope the baby is ok.

Better for whom?
Are you suggesting we all call the police if a baby cries for a period? I can imagine it doing a lot of harm.

rubbish as a experienced dispatcher,
on the information given, inc raised voices, slamming of car doors and a baby in extreme distress, so potentially a DA incident yes they would ! Just a crying baby then no, and yes social services, but clearly as per her post that is not what she said !

Worse than the police showing up?

better to be safe than sorry but I would’ve probably knocked on the door first… we have a baby that shrieks whilst we rock him for nearly every nap and bedtime. We’ve had to have the windows wide open during the heat and have been terrified what the neighbours think! I’d feel like an awful mum if police came round… knowing I do everything to try and soothe my baby but he still cries

Can pps not see the benefit of trained police officers attending, making a record and with access to any known safeguarding info about the family, vs the untrained OP attending and being (possibly incorrectly) assured all is OK?

Better safe than sorry leads to inappropriate reports, referrals and defensive practice so agencies cant actually identify the children in need.

The biggest mistake the media and social services ever made was saying safeguarding is everyone's responsibility because they assumed that people would understand what they meant but they didn't. They meant it was the responsibility of all the professionals that come into contact with a family and not assume that someone else is dealing with it. And it meant family members and neighbours shouldn't think not my business to interfere when there were clear signs of abuse like bruises, what children say, constant crying over days or weeks, witnessing children being hit or sworn at and shouted at etc.

It didn't mean everyone should report anything they don't feel is normal or appropriate because that's nonsensical.

And so what happens after every high profile child death is you have well meaning but unhelpful people reporting things just because they don't like it and want it to be checked out which is why after Baby P a senior social worker had to ask the public to stop making inappropriate reports because trying to actually identify the at risk children was like trying to find a needle in a haystack because they were overwhelmed by professionals and non professionals reporting because better to be safe than sorry..

Same as when there's a storyline on TV about sepsis or something and ED depts brace themselves for a number of inappropriate calls and attendances from people who don't really have symptoms but better to be safe than sorry.

Same as during COVID when the government said report if you see people breaking the rules thinking the public had some common sense and realise they meant if pubs were still opening, employers putting people at risk or learning were having parties and after a few weeks had to say stop calling us because your neighbour went to the shops twice in a day or went for two walks or bought an item you thought wasn't essential, that's not what we meant.

Calling the POLICE because a newborn cried for half an hour in hot temperatures and the OP is a judgy person who assumed that from 100 yards away over the sound of a screaming newborn she could tell no efforts were being made to comfort them is a definite overreaction.

Right... but getting in the car and playing some music is not the same as doors slamming and shouting 🙄

OP and her husband were both worried. It's clearly an entirely different situation to yours.

In many cases, yes.

It is very common knowledge that professionals advice citizens not to get directly involved in potential domestic issues because it often makes things worse. Police or ss are trained to assess and take appropriate steps. Sharon from down the road is not.

Blows my mind that after a tragedy we get post after post of "as if none of the neighbours heard anything/nobody did anything" etc etc. And then when somebody IS worried and calls it in to be safe, they get slaughtered for over reacting/being a busy body/shaming people. It's pathetic.

Do you know if the police came?

Was just thinking exactly the same thing. It's not always safe to personally intervene, though, so I disagree with those saying OP should have done that. I think the call to the police was justified, better a bit of time potentially wasted than the risk of another terrible case like the ones we read in the papers all too often. Bit perturbed to hear that the police potentially wouldn't have done anything, though.

This 100%.
I had a colicky baby who cried solidly for 2 hours every night for weeks, this was despite being held, comforted and also taking all prescribed treatments by healthcare professionals. If the police turned up because a neighbour thought we were abusing our child, it would have tipped me over the edge of what was an already very difficult time in child rearing.

It doesn't matter. If they saved the baby upstairs that night, you being a bit disgruntled would have been worth it.

talk about bearing a grudge!

So we're all supposed to call the police if the neighbour's baby cries now "just in case"? That'll be nice for all the new mums with colicky babies, or babies who won't settle in the heat, or teething babies etc etc

So yeah let's call the police. Each and every time. Just in case.

You are minimizing what the OP described and deliberately baiting

OP you did absolutely the right thing. Chances are nothing is amiss, and the family would of course face no issues or SS referral. And if an offence is happening or has taken place, then it can be dealt with by the right agencies, who will have immediate access to intelligence, previous etc. It’s not advised for members of the public to knock on doors when there’s a possibility of dv/abuse. There’s a real chance of danger to the victim (and whoever has intervened) and escalation either at the time, or later, by the perpetrator. We would far rather attend a job and find all is well than have to attend the post mortem of a child/ abused partner. Take it from someone who knows.

You 100% did the right thing. And this is from someone who has had the police called on them before in a situation very much like this when everything was actually ok. As much as it hurts if everything is actually alright, you need people to follow their intuition for the times when it is not. It’s everyone’s job to safeguard. The baby and family might be fine - of course (let’s hope). But if they are neglected (like the poster on here wrote about her own adopted son) because the parents didn’t have the emotional capacity to care for the baby while crying, that of course is crucial. Reports can build a picture to social services and police. If there is something going on, it’s everyone’s duty to add to these reports so that something can be done. Imagine if baby Preston’s neighbour has called the police more if something didn't feel right to them. We’ve also reported to nursery who called the police before when we heard a child say a sentence that could have indicated a major safeguarding situation (describing performing a sex act on a male, she was a toddler/young preschooler). It turned out to be nothing worrying on investigation and I really feel for the family having put them through that investigation but I’m still certain we did the right thing, and I’d think her parents would think so too considering what their child had said in that moment. You can’t ignore things like this and if you do you’re gatekeeping what could be vital information to keep a child safe. If it’s nothing - then even better. Of course hard for the parents in that moment but the alternative is too serious to risk not doing otherwise.

You did the right thing Op. so many people missing your details of raised voices, doors slamming. You’ve acted out of concern, if more people did that then maybe tragedies wouldn’t happen.