Calling the police to check on a crying baby

[summermumma2021]

Just had to call the police to check on a new neighbours baby. What would
you have done in this situation?
New neighbours live down our road around 100m away from us and could hear loud very distressed crying for over half an hour.

It sounded like a newborn or young baby crying and so I assumed they’d settle or some attempt to comfort them would be made but the crying stayed at the same level for ther period time. I could also hear raised voices and car doors slamming and I asked my husband if he’d heard it too (he was downstairs) and he said yeah he was worried as well.

Anyway in hoping it was nothing and the little one is fine but it just didn’t sit right and it sounded like no attempt to comfort them was being made at all.

i have no idea who the new neighbours are as it’s quite far from our bit of the road but for it to be that loud from this distance didn’t seem right. I have also had three colicky babies so I do know babies can cry for periods of time but as I said it sounded like no attempt to help them was being made.

Anyway police treating it as a priority case and checking things out. Just wanted to share really as worried.

I wouldn't have called the police, as babies and toddlers can cry a lot (30min is really not long for some babies). I find it odd you say so confidently that no one was trying to comfort the baby, when you have no way of knowing if this is the case. Even if you live next door, you wouldn't be able to hear whether someone was trying to comfort the baby, let alone when they're 100m away.

Just like the call handler, you weren't there either. I'm sure OP has heard many babies cry but something about this situation was off and worried her.
I called the police once when I heard a child crying hysterically and a man shouting. I have a child that cries when he's told no or I wipe his face. I grew up in an area where lots of parents shouted and swore at their own children, I've seen parents shout at children to tell then off and seen their children cry over it but I've only felt the need to call the police once. In words, the incidents sound the same but it was only that one where something really worried me and I was scared for the child.

You have done the right thing. My (adopted) son was removed from his birth mum due to neglect and domestic violence. No baby should ever have to experience that. If you have a concern, isn’t it better to check it out and make sure the child is safe? I’m grateful that people who were worried about my son had the courage to contact the police and social services when they were concerned.

Actually he reminded me because I have dyscalculia and struggle with spacial awareness and measurement but sure turn this into some BS misogynistic thing...

Someone with a fucking learning disability alright!

Sorry if this sounds provocative but surely ‘from here to Fred and Sue’s’ would be a better measure for you than two Olympic pools? I’ve never been next to an Olympic pool; maybe you have.

If it’s 100m down the road how can you be sure that all these noises relate to the same house? Also with windows open noise travels and we can all hear a lot more from our neighbours houses right now than usually. I think I would have needed more to ring the police than just a crying baby. As PP have said, babies can cry and if someone had called the police to check on mine I would have been mortified. You could have tipped a new mother over the edge. If you wanted to check on the welfare of the baby I think there would have been more discreet and kinder ways to do it than this.

It is better to call and it be nothing than not call and it be something major. U have done the right thing.

There’s a lot of negativity on this post but I do just want to say OP that you were right in reporting this. If there are no concerns once the police have attended then no harm done but if you had ignored this and a child was harmed all these negative posters would be asking why neighbours didn’t report!! I have personal experience with similar and wish the neighbours would have called, the children involved would have been much safer much quicker!

By all means he helpfully reminded you how long 100m is, but you then went on to share his opinion. Respectfully, no one gives a shit about what your DH thinks.

Thank you for that.
My post seems to have triggered a lot of Mums whose kids have had colic and a lot of
people who think “investigating” and going round is a good plan.

Have you got what you wanted from this thread OP? Have you got enough praise? Enough pats on the head.

Because when you posted it you’d already spoken to the police so it’s all a bit pointless isn’t it?

Surely a welfare check could take place? I called the police on a family i was concerned about once (work in children's services) as a child was distressed and parents very angry, and they did a welfare check that evening.
Surely the fact there was a domestic dispute makes it a police matter too?

If it was a mother “on the edge” then perhaps
this call would be exactly what she needed to have health visitor or GP support or
an opportunity to at least be offered that. Obviously I would never want to upset or
make something worse for someone but I actually don’t think that would’ve done.
Anyway this is a lot of
speculation.

I think you’ve misunderstood the point of my post….you’re welcome to leave?

Totally agree you have done the right thing OP.

So all I could hear was two adults shouting and it sounded like they were outside of their house and the baby absolutely crying at top volume from what sounded like inside the house.

Again due to heatwave all our windows are wide open but we’ve got plenty of
other families up and down the street and kids cry and we hear other homes obviously but nothing that sounded as elevated as
this. It just didn’t sound right. Again I relayed all this to the call handler and said it could be nothing, noise travels and I let them decide from there.

See, I’m a mum of 4, dealt with colic from all of them, my youngest now 20 months, would scream as stiff as a board for 4 hours straight some nights, you absolutely cannot judge whether nobody was trying to settle them, you sound judgy as hell on that part. I walked the floors for hours with my DP trying to settle him. Just because you haven’t experienced it to that level, doesn’t mean the parents are not caring for the baby. Whether or not it was right to call the police, that was your call, the likelihood is all is okay. I live in a quiet area, no one phoned the police on me, in fact, my neighbour gave me a solidarity smile the next morning which I’m extremely grateful for.

I think the part where you say “nobody phoned the police on me” says it all. It’s not an attack on the parents it was a concern over a child’s welfare. It was a protective measure not an “out to get you” kind of thing.

I have experienced crying to that level actually. Which later we realised was CMPA and AuDHD.

Perhaps my initial post did assume too much but it just didn’t seem like the parents were doing anything to help the baby. The crying then continued for quite a while longer.

I get what you mean about solidarity annd support rather than judging someone and I’ve definitely shared that with my own neighbours/friends when we’ve had some awful months (nights) of it. I always made sure to go round and say I’m sorry about the crying, my child has colic/sleep issues and its
tough. Equally though if I was screaming at my child, slammming doors and having shouting matches with my partner outside my house at midnight I would expect someone to care enough to call.

I think if it was neighbours or people we knew then there’d be better context but there was almost nothing to go off aside from a situation that seemed heated and upsetting hence my
dilemma I suppose. I didn’t want to
overeact but then I didn’t want to do nothing to help what seemed like a child potentially at risk.

if you felt uneasy you 100% did the right thing! Ignore the people saying differently, imagine waking up to a front page horror story tomorrow knowing you heard the cry’s and did nothing!

The OP has stated that she isnt the only neighbour that called, that there was clearly a row going on between the parents outside their house and the baby was being ignored. I too have had a baby with colic so I know what its like.

The OP did the right thing and the call on whether to attend after that was on the police.

All she did was raise her concerns, the police think that they deserve attention.

Why are so many being so defensive about something that is not their issue? If the police didnt think it was worth their time then they wouldnt have attended, but they have (or are doing) and if the family have nothing to hide then they also have nothing to worry about. I would rather live somewhere that my neighbours would notice this kind of stuff, than ignore it.

The common sense thing for you to have done would have been for you or your husband to have gone to investigate and if still concerned knock on the neighbours door.

This would have shown responsibility and judgment. The police have very limited resources and if we want them to focus on actually getting rid of real active criminals we need them not to be glorified social workers.

The problem with so many people is that they are simultaneously childishly fearful of any personal involvement in anything remotely out of the ordinary and hugely over sensitised to the possibility of such things leading to near hysterical over reactions (as per the poster above and the WhatsApp group she referred to).

And all this speculation comes from your OP which is based on your own speculation. You asked a question but you’re not prepared to listen to anyone who disagrees with you. Ok for you to speculate but nobody else?

I just think it would’ve been much worse for me to turn up at midnight to check on things. I could hear it from my house.
Would you really have done that?

I grew up in a house with DV and a neighbour turning up would’ve made things a lot worse whereas with police it made things safe.

I don’t know what else to say. I posted what happened. I’m prepared for disagreement obviously and I’m interested to
know what others would’ve done differently but I just disagreed with what you said.