Calling the police to check on a crying baby

[summermumma2021]

Just had to call the police to check on a new neighbours baby. What would
you have done in this situation?
New neighbours live down our road around 100m away from us and could hear loud very distressed crying for over half an hour.

It sounded like a newborn or young baby crying and so I assumed they’d settle or some attempt to comfort them would be made but the crying stayed at the same level for ther period time. I could also hear raised voices and car doors slamming and I asked my husband if he’d heard it too (he was downstairs) and he said yeah he was worried as well.

Anyway in hoping it was nothing and the little one is fine but it just didn’t sit right and it sounded like no attempt to comfort them was being made at all.

i have no idea who the new neighbours are as it’s quite far from our bit of the road but for it to be that loud from this distance didn’t seem right. I have also had three colicky babies so I do know babies can cry for periods of time but as I said it sounded like no attempt to help them was being made.

Anyway police treating it as a priority case and checking things out. Just wanted to share really as worried.

I actually think the door slamming makes it more likely that it IS a normal reason? The door slamming suggests either or both parents were stressed out, upset or flustered by the crying and possibly arguing about it. Surely it would be more unusual if a baby were crying inconsolably and there was no commotion or noise from adults in the home?

I still think she did the right thing by calling, but just giving a different perspective on the door slamming potentially not pointing to a massive issue.

This is a tough one. Makes me sad in the sense of some children need people like yourself to act on your intuition. However, I am 8 weeks postpartum and my little boy will go mental only IF I put him down. So say I do so in order to make a bottle up when my husband is at work, one moments worth of crying feels like forever. And I get paranoid of what the neighbours or passers by may think! He's such a velcro baby that even the slightest lowering of him will trigger him. It could be like myself completely innocent. But, you may also have just done a very fortunate thing.

the call handler would’ve made that decision for me

This is a really good point actually - if in doubt hand the decision over to someone who has more information than you.

‘Door slamming and a baby crying’ with a record of police being called out, a history of social services involvement etc means one thing, but zero previous call outs before can mean something else. OP doesn’t have access to this history but the call handler (or the police?) does have access. Pass on your concerns and then it’s up to the police.

@summermumma2021 don't forget that some people post just to be contrary (and on some threads will actually tie themselves into bizarre knots worthy of a prickly octopus to create some weird story that justifies telling the OP off). And there's also a proportion of people, often men, who hate Mumsnet and are actually trying to make it a hostile place to people who post.

Take the useful posts from here and ignore the people being unpleasant.

fwiw since you weren't the only one to report the baby screaming to the police, clearly something was worth questioning and you did the right thing.

Oh can we please remember baby P and all the other babies that have been abused, if people had not of turned a blind eye those poor babies may still be here, sorry I'm with the op you know cries and a baby being rocked cries different to a baby left alone.
Anyway I had the police called on me once as they had reports of a 8 year old girl named and crying outside of my house, 2 officers arrived and I explained I only have sons at home and the one in question was being a little sod and refusing to do his homework, he was 11 and he was in shorts and he was screaming that he was leaving home but it was in a joking way as even now he has a strange sense of humour, anyway I explained to the officers this and they were happy and as they were about to leave I told them that it would be a good idea to see him as they never asked to see him, anyway he made them laugh and that was that, I don't care who called the police as I think it was lovely that they cared, and I would rather someone do something rather than do nothing.

@ReleaseTheDucksOfWar And there's also a proportion of people, often men, who hate Mumsnet and are actually trying to make it a hostile place to people who post.

Ooh. That’s food for thought 🤔.

Oh for gods sake

She didn’t “report them to the police” in the same way you report a crime.

She alerted the police as she was concerned for the welfare of a baby/small child. Anything could have been happening. She did the right thing.

100%. It makes me feel really angry actually. “Better safe than sorry” is just a cop out for people not needing to critically engage with the situation. This situation just does not meet the bar for police intervention and I’m pretty appalled how many people seemingly think it does.

You said your husband was in. No reason one of you could not have investigated a little first.

The police wouldn't give you the information that you're not the only caller.

I wouldn't have called the police for a one off situation. A lot of babies can cry for that long or longer while being comforted and cared for, our little one used to throw the most awful screaming crying tantrums over bed time and nothing would settle her. If it had happened a few times and you were concerned then I would have called the police.

But obviously they couldn’t do that. If someone calls and describes something as a concern, and obviously believes something is wrong, they can’t exactly turn around and say it isn’t. They can only rely on your retelling of the incident - they aren’t there. So they don’t have the context and they can’t know if you’re overplaying it or underplaying it.

And fine, you clearly thought and think you are in the right here and nobody online is going to convince you. But nevertheless, it is completely and entirely unreasonable to ring the police because of what you’ve described - a baby crying for 30 minutes, doors slamming and raised voices. The amount of people who are convinced this is worrying and a clear sign of terrible things and throwing around “better safe than sorry” as if that means anything and bringing up completely unrelated examples of horrific child abuse…it’s shocked me tbh.

Why do you say this?

The police were dispatched, do you think they made the wrong decision?

You have to go with your gut OP. You're right safeguarding is everyone's responsibility and there have been to many cases where people have decided it's not there problem and tragedies have occurred. Never apologise for looking out for a child, hopefully it's nothing. As others have suggested why you didn't go round there, for what purpose? and leaving your own children alone at home 🤷🏼. You wouldn't be given access to see if the baby was ok, that is why the police are needed to do a welfare check. I think, in the context, you did the right thing

They do tell. My friend know her neighbour's are the ones making the call. Her issue is that they have never asked her about why her dc scream.

Edit: sorry I see you mean the police wouldn't tell op anything. I agree.

The police told your friend which neighbour called them? Really? That is a breach of something or other of the highest order.

And to be clear - obviously I do believe that people must intervene when they can see something is wrong. But we have to use our brains and apply logic to the situation actually in front of us not. Hours of screaming, lots of raised aggressive voices or banging and sounds of physical harm, and especially if this happens more than once and is particularly extended, of course. We should look out for our neighbours and children. We should take action. But this scenario just is not in that category.

you were right to do what you did.
Another option might've been to contact NSPCC, because they assure anonymity.
When a concerned neighbour contacts the 'authorities' they run the risk of being identified. This can lead to reluctance to refer when referral is what is needed.
You did well OP.
Even if it was a 'false alarm' a baby was protected. That often doesn't happen.

The police disagreed with you.

Incorrect.

I once phoned the police to alert them about something and they confirmed to me that they’d had multiple other calls to report to the same incident.

Door slamming indicates bad temper and potential risk to child or mother.

especially heard 100m down the road

Its a Saturday night and they have all been on the wine. I would like to see the stats between the "why did no one do anything?!" on threads about poor wee Preston and those slagging you off now.

Yes I had this too. I was reporting a man who had collapsed in the street and I was told that there had already been a car and ambulance on their way as they had had several calls.

I wouldn’t have been surprised if my neighbour had called the police. My DD was terrible at having her nappy changed, crying ‘no mummy no, Dont do it mummy’
Luckily said neighbour was her godmother and completely understood.
edited for grammar.