Calling the police to check on a crying baby

[summermumma2021]

Just had to call the police to check on a new neighbours baby. What would
you have done in this situation?
New neighbours live down our road around 100m away from us and could hear loud very distressed crying for over half an hour.

It sounded like a newborn or young baby crying and so I assumed they’d settle or some attempt to comfort them would be made but the crying stayed at the same level for ther period time. I could also hear raised voices and car doors slamming and I asked my husband if he’d heard it too (he was downstairs) and he said yeah he was worried as well.

Anyway in hoping it was nothing and the little one is fine but it just didn’t sit right and it sounded like no attempt to comfort them was being made at all.

i have no idea who the new neighbours are as it’s quite far from our bit of the road but for it to be that loud from this distance didn’t seem right. I have also had three colicky babies so I do know babies can cry for periods of time but as I said it sounded like no attempt to help them was being made.

Anyway police treating it as a priority case and checking things out. Just wanted to share really as worried.

From 100 metres away you aren’t going to hear a parent trying to calm down a baby.

If you were worried undid the right thing. Only you can decide as we weren’t there to hear it. I’d say you having children of your own you will have known if it was normal or not. It’s probably going to be quite distressing for the parents though if they weren’t doing anything wrong but that can’t be helped

My baby would cry with intensity for hours at at a time when he was a newborn. I developed severe PND as a result, and yes there probably was some shouting in our home because it was incredibly stressful but baby was never just left to cry. If someone had called the police on us it may well have pushed me over the edge. Baby was later diagnosed with silent reflux.

Really? Given there were adults shouting and slamming car doors etc it sounds very much like someone needed help in that house.

Nobody can predict what was going on. If in doubt and something doesn't sit right, better safe than sorry. With all the recent horrible stuff in the news about abuse and harm of very young children I would not hesitate to do the same as the OP just to be on the safe side. I could not live with myself if I told myself never to do anything for fear of being "nosy" and it later transpired something awful had happened. This is exactly how so many child abuse cases go undetected for so long, people are so entrenched in their own lives and scared of being accused of not minding their own business.

I hope the baby was OK.

Our first born had undiagnosed CMPA for the first 6 months of her life. She would scream in my arms for hours and there were times where eventually I would have to set her down while I cried myself into some kind of state of sleep as being held seemed to upset her more at times. My husband took 4 weeks off work on stress leave after coming close to a mental breakdown. By the time she was 6 months old I ended up taking myself to A&E because I had thoughts of ending my life and was diagnosed with severe postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety. We had plenty of slamming doors and shouting because we were both at breaking point. If the police had turned up at my door it would have broken me further…but that doesn’t necessarily mean my neighbours would have been wrong to call them. It’s a tough one - this situation could be desperate parents at breaking point unable to settle their baby or it could be something sinister that needs to be reported so I don’t think you're being unreasonable for calling the police.

I think what’s unreasonable are some of the assumptions you’re making. “I assumed they’d settle or some attempt to comfort them would be made” - you have no idea of what the effort might be being made to settle the baby. “Ive also had colicky babies myself who took hours to settle but I was there settling them and there’s a difference between the cries.” - you can’t judge the difference between a random baby’s cries.

I can appreciate for some people comments like this can be triggering as it takes them back to a hopeless time in their life where they tried their best with their baby and nothing worked and they feared what others would think. But despite how horrible it would feel as a desperate parent to have the police show up I still don’t think it is wrong to call them- if you’re genuinely concerned about the baby in question it’s the right thing to do.

So wait. Prolonged crying by young baby.

Raised voices / slamming doors. Baby not being calmed down. Two grown adults both feeling like the situation isn’t ok.

and because babies have died in silence it’s better not to do a welfare check ?

shame on you. I would have no qualms about anyone doing a welfare check on my family. I’d feel like there’s people looking out for me and understand that they don’t want to get involved.

They aren't "arm chair experts" They are people who have had babies that cried incessantly and found it stressful. The baby was crying for half an hour and OP was too far away to hear of the parents were trying to comfort them.

I think what’s unreasonable are some of the assumptions you’re making. “I assumed they’d settle or some attempt to comfort them would be made” - you have no idea of what the effort might be being made to settle the baby. “Ive also had colicky babies myself who took hours to settle but I was there settling them and there’s a difference between the cries.” - you can’t judge the difference between a random baby’s cries.

I agree with this and thought the same. I think this is where you have "triggered" some people op.

My 8 yr old LOVES stories like this, 'mum, tell my friend about the time I screamed so much the neighbour came to check.on me' or mum 'tell the story about how your friend brought pizza round and my crying went on so long she left and ate none fo it because she couldn't cope' he'd be delighted to hear the neighbours called the police on ha

To be honest I'm not sure how you'd have heard any attempt made to settle the baby from 100m away?

If it were me I'd have been more concerned if it were sounding like a domestic abuse situation but I wouldn't assume that 30 minutes of crying would mean parents aren't responding at all.

I had a colicky baby as well and mine cried hard every night from 8-9.30pm like clockwork. It was utterly brutal but there would have been no way my neighbours would have known I was doing everything in my power to settle him. If the police had turned up I'd have been mortified and felt even more pressure.

Unless there was a wider picture or the shouting/door slamming was prolonged or intense then I wouldn't be assuming a safeguarding risk from this.

If the cry was odd and screechy could it be meningitis? I have no experience of meningitis but I think one of the symptoms is an usual cry. Either way whatever it is hope the baby is ok and gets appropriate help.

I am very sorry things were so tough for you and your baby, but surely you can see that your experience should not put people off calling the police if they have concerns?
If someone had called the police I presume they would handle the situation with great care and sensitivity and would quickly have seen that your baby was being care for.

Raised voices and slammed doors are hardly a sign of something terrible happening. You have lived a very sheltered life if you think this is uncommon and requires a welfare check.

And the baby was crying for 30 minutes! Not ideal but certainly not alarming

I think the comment you're responding to is agreeing with you. Also even as the mum of a reflux baby who screamed I'd definitely support calling police to check. My eldest has asd and I'm both glad and mildly offended for him that noones called the police to check on him. He's been known to scream 'why are you trying to murder me' when getting his hair washed and to scream and pull large.noisy bumping furniture down

An Olympic swimming pool is 50m.

Actually people do often find it easier to think of objects (e.g. as tall as a house, or as wide as a football pitch) as it's easier to reference something we know, rather than 6m or however wise a football pitch is.

Yet all the professionals on here are agreeing that OP did the right thing.

What professionals?

I hope so, and I hope that it has been handled sensitively in this case too, but it really would have compounded the guilt I was already feeling!

One hand up here, I work in a professional safeguarding capacity, used to be attached to social services but in mental health now and fully agree OP did the right thing.

Do you seriously think that a baby crying for half an hour warrants a call to the police?! I just can't imagine doing that to a neighbour. I would and have gone around to check everything was okay in similar circumstances but it just isn't unusual for babies to cry for that amount of time.

Why?

That is quite mad and just requires a call to 101 to ask for verification, as you say.
Some people have too much time on their hands. 😀

I've just read about a few children who died in very hot cars after the parent forgot them, so you did the right thing. The one off comment is bonkers as if the baby was in the car there would not be a second time potentially
.

Totally did the right thing.