Calling the police to check on a crying baby

[summermumma2021]

Just had to call the police to check on a new neighbours baby. What would
you have done in this situation?
New neighbours live down our road around 100m away from us and could hear loud very distressed crying for over half an hour.

It sounded like a newborn or young baby crying and so I assumed they’d settle or some attempt to comfort them would be made but the crying stayed at the same level for ther period time. I could also hear raised voices and car doors slamming and I asked my husband if he’d heard it too (he was downstairs) and he said yeah he was worried as well.

Anyway in hoping it was nothing and the little one is fine but it just didn’t sit right and it sounded like no attempt to comfort them was being made at all.

i have no idea who the new neighbours are as it’s quite far from our bit of the road but for it to be that loud from this distance didn’t seem right. I have also had three colicky babies so I do know babies can cry for periods of time but as I said it sounded like no attempt to help them was being made.

Anyway police treating it as a priority case and checking things out. Just wanted to share really as worried.

You did right @summermumma2021 , and as you said in an earlier post, you weren't the only one calling in: maybe that's why it was taken seriously?
Good on you for trusting your gut!

It could be the most dramatic thing that's happened to the OP in a while and she wants people to gossip with about it. Sorry OP, but your post did make me wonder about that a little.

The amount of people equating a baby crying for 30 minutes to child abuse!! Jfc. People have lost all reason.

I can’t sleep at night sometimes thinking about the horrific stories about babies being murdered and abused. It’s awful and obviously people around them could and should have done more and all of society should learn lessons. But this is just so far removed from that. It’s like people are just projecting their pain and sadness about these awful cases onto random innocent families whose babies cry or who might raise their voices or who might even slam a door. That doesn’t help. It’s just insane. No, it’s not fucking reasonable to call police when you hear a baby cry. Even when doors slam or you hear voices. That’s not legitimate or proportionate. It’s a waste of everyone’s time.

What about babies who aren't getting a parents 'best efforts'?

they are the concern here. Not good parents hurry feelings.

A friend of mine has a neighbour who has called the police and social services several times due to the noise her children make. They have never bothered to actually ask her what is going on. If they did they might stop wasting police time and causing my friend more stress. You sound similar OP.

My neighbour's youngest used to cry a lot for the first 18 months, it never occured to me to call the police. I guess this was because they have two older children who always seem happy, confident and very well cared for He's older now and the crying has stopped, i think it was just how he was at that very young age. It is hard to know what to do and my response was informed by knowing the family and seeing that to the best of my knowledge it is a happy family. In the OP's situation I would not have called the police as 30 mins crying is not unheard of, mine use to howl for ages and very little other than being held all the time would comfort them. A family member was reported by her neighbour because of the terrible screams her daughter made when she had her hair washed along with cries of "please mummy no, please stop" The thing is hearing this through the wall would raise alarm bells. I do think it is better to report than not to because we never know what is really going on.

Well I hope you aren’t my neighbour. Mine cried so much as a baby, and even now often has long tantrums. Trust me we did everything possible to stop it

I'm glad you weren't my neighbour when my son was born. He screamed day and night as he was born a little early, and he was very colicky. Anyone walking past would have assumed something was wrong but he was well loved and cared for. He just had a tricky start to life. It soon settled.

If anyone had called the police on me back then, I would be absolutely gunning for them. I had enough to deal with with my husband walking out, the premature birth, and having no money, not to mention PND.

This.

Old Mumsnet was an entirely different place, which I miss hugely. No way would we have been 'ripping the piss' out of the OP.

it all went arse up with Penis Beaker.

your suggestion is batshit. You either aren't very bright, or you're not very street-smart or good with people.

And you write like that and think you are good with people?

The stuff about men not being expected to step up in the community is nonsense imo. We are beginning to blur roles increasingly, which is a good thing, but the vast majority of members of the public who help in physical emergencies - drownings etc - are still male. You are just thinking about childcare - which for lots of reasons has stayed female-dominated. Even on here recently there have been threads saying males shouldn't be allowed in early childcare settings, every baby needs a mother etc. Not saying I agree, but I am just making the point that as women we are not some put-upon community resource any more than men. We are just expected to step up for different things.

ETA and feminism isn't an excuse not to offer to help.

I personally would not have rocked up on their door if things sounded tense, but there is nothing wrong with a suggestion of offering help generally.

Oh, I really, really hope they do.

It's better to be wrong and apologise for this kind of thing rather than be right but regretful.

I would hope my neighbour would call the police on me, what if I had a had slipped and was unconscious with a baby to look after! If it's innocent the police will go on their way and it will be a story for the parents to tell the child when they are older

What ‘when you were tiny you cried so much a neighbour called the police to check we weren’t abusing you’

Yes quite the anecdote.

Nasty. You think OP was being malicious?

As if op will apologise...

When my eldest was a baby, until about 6 weeks old, he'd cry unconsolably from 6-10 every night. We'd pas him back and forward feeding and settling, child was never set down or got worse. It may well.not be sinister.

OP. I’d rather police checked a baby and it’s all ok than wake up to a different story the next day. It may just be a bad night. But may I remind people questioning this of the news in the last few weeks. Babies have died at the hands of monsters that everyone thought were ok to look after children.

you did the right thing and you most certainly did the right thing not putting yourself in danger.

And in the US this is exactly what happened. A newborn was found next to their mother a week after she had died.

Thank goodness a man has come along to tell us women not to be such silly billys.

We've all been puzzled by how far 100m is and now will stop any concerned thoughts about the well being of a baby, phew

I completely agree. I cannot believe the reaction by the OP, who heard a baby crying, was to CALL THE POLICE?!? If you were worried, why didn't you just go round and ask if they were ok? The reply to the previous poster who asked this was a slightly precious, 'I have three children and couldn't possibly leave them alone while I run about intervening in domestic disputes' - as though that's what anyone suggested. The OP said her husband was home too, so couldn't he have gone, or she could have gone over in an hour or two? Unless you heard what you thought was literally a murder happening in real time, it didn't need immediate intervention and it didn't need the police as a first step!

I'm 40 - am I totally out of touch, too old, too young, or what is going on here? Why are people calling the police for normal non-criminal things? Or is it just people on Mumsnet...?

Babies have also died at the hands of monsters without making any sound. Perhaps everyone should call the police to check on neighbour's if the baby can't be heard much.

Who on earth thinks in Olympic swimming pools?
100m is 100m, where I am, it would be impossible to know which house/which baby that was but maybe OP lives in a different configuration.

The number of people who think the OP is wrong and would do nothing does explain why abuse can happen in built up areas with neighbours who do nothing.
The crying alone is not the issue (been there, done that) but if the shouting and slamming was definitely the same house, it's certainly worth reporting.

OP a significant part of my job is safeguarding. You absolutely did the right thing, well done. Yes it could just have been a hot grouchy night with a baby that wouldn’t settle, but the fact you could hear it from so far, there was more than just a crying baby and your gut felt something was off, shows that it was an immediate concern and not something that could wait for a children’s services report the following day (which also wouldn’t be dealt with quickly as of course, it was a Friday night). You were also not the only caller, so that helps to validate the situation.

I hope that you’re okay and that things settled. Domestic concerns often come to light through 3rd party reports (very often neighbours) and can help to add pieces to a puzzle. I’ll say it again - you absolutely did the right thing for that baby and please don’t hesitate to do it again if you had concerns. Please ignore people on here who are “armchair experts”.

We should all be more proactive and neighbourly.
A new neighbour-100m down the road you should have made to feel welcome.
By building a relationship you can then offer assistance.

None the less-safeguarding is everyone's resp, so calling police is fine