Is this a strange comment to write?

[Nickyknackered]

An old acquaintance (friends at the time but it was situational and as our lives moved on there was no real keeping in touch aside from FB where we regularly comment on each others photos.).... has just got married and put their photos on FB. She looked beautiful and the whole day looked amazing.

I wrote a comment to say as much, she looked stunning, venue was gorgeous blah blah and then added 'Sorry I couldn't be there'.

We were on holiday and wouldn't have been able to go. Although we weren't actually invited....

SIL thinks its hilarious that I've written that! Is it?

I would take it to mean'that looks so gorgeous it makes me wish I was there, even though you obviously wouldn't invite me as we don't have that kind of relationship.'

I know what it meant. Everyone I know would know what it meant. I and other people I know have used it that way.

There is no convention, just ever decreasing competence of language in society.

Very odd. Sounds like you’re alluding to the fact you should have been invited!

Totally get that, but definitely many people will read it as a weird comment, you giving out that you weren't invited.

Whether you meant it to be or not, I’d assume passive aggressive and you were pissed off you weren’t invited.

Very strange comment to make when you weren’t even on the guest list.

Glad you have taken it down. As others have explained to you would only really use the sentence sorry I couldn't be there for an event you have been invited to but we're unable to attend. I don't even know what you would say to something like this other than looks like a lovely day etc.

Sorry but very strange comment because you weren’t invited.

Definitely I would read that as passive aggressive. She’s not sorry you weren’t there, as she didn’t invite you!

If I were the bride I’d think you were being sarcastic.

Agree, OP is in the minority and did not use the phrase appropriately in the context. If it was a non-invite event, she could’ve said, would have loved to be there / similar

Definitely an odd comment to make- you were not invited!

I thought the same as everyone one else, but your second post made me understand better what you meant by the comment.
It seems your meaning was more:

‘Sad I wasn’t involved cause it looks brilliant’

rather than:

‘I apologise that I couldn’t make it’.

Sorry as in sorrowful rather than sorry as in apologetic. A moot point anyway as you’ve deleted it!

(I see others have made that point too).

You meant well and I think it was very sweet! But I agree with others about how it sounds. I think deleting was right - but I think the nice friend would’ve taken it that for some reason you thought you’d been invited, rather than it being sarcastic. PP’s comment about writing it on a photo of the Oscars made me laugh! I know what you meant with what you said, but I don’t think there’s another way to say it without sounding like you had expected an invitation. As you’re not close it wouldn’t have really mattered, but nice that SIL told you the truth!

Sounds like a dig that you weren’t invited

Yes it’s cheeky as heck !

Yes this is a little weird OP. But that’s done is done!

“Sorry I couldn’t be there, I was on holiday and wasn’t able to go. And also I wasn’t invited”
😂😂😂

Absolutely mean comment. Sounds like you expected an invite and were having a go at them for not inviting you.

But only YOU know what your intentions were. She's not in your head. That's why we have to put ourself in the other person's position when we communicate to make sure there is no misinterpretation.

@nevernotmaybe well I think you’re wrong. But to double check, I asked my Mum, who is a many-times published writer, book critic, English lecturer, EFL teacher, and has a 1st degree in English from Oxford University. And she agreed with me. No one can officially pronounce of the exact correctness of language, as in many situations conventional usage supersedes literal meaning over time, but the overwhelming majority would agree that OP’s usage of the phrase didn’t convey the message she intended.

I think you must just have some unusual friends!

I don't think there is any way to take that other than as passive aggressive or that you somehow thought you were invited 😬

I think some of the responses to me here have been far unkinder than I may have accidently been to my friend.

I have sent her a message apologising profusely for any offense I may have caused with my clumsy comment, and just expressed that it was made with good intentions.

Telling me it was a mean comment and that I was trying to make her feel bad are way off the mark and unnecessary.

Have a good weekend everyone.

Telling me it was a mean comment and that I was trying to make her feel bad are way off the mark and unnecessary.

They may have been hard to hear, but they're just people's opinions which you did ask for.

I am embarrassed for you. Cant you delete it? Or edit it to remove the ‘sorry we couldn’t be there’ bit?

EDIT - now I’ve read all your posts, I see you have in fact deleted it. Good move.