Do we need another rule to protect ourselves from rape?

[wellindeed]

These recent cases of a husband drugging their wife so other men can rape her are new level horrific to me.

We have always known that the vast majority of violence and sexual violence against women and girls happens at home by men. Normally, someone they know who often has some level of control and the women have, at some stage, thought they could trust.

We all know the rules of being female.

Women always take extra precautions from men every single time they leave the house, whether that is changing a walking route, getting a cab rather than walking or holding keys between our fingers. We know the rules of being female.

Women know not to leave their drink unattended or ask for Angela at the bar.

We know that sometimes when a partner is showing escalating controlling signs and is violent towards us at home, that it is better to not challenge this behaviour and plan the escape when he’s not around to avoid an increased risk of murder.

Women know that if a man follows us and is heckling at us, not to say anything because the man may become violent. Or as I taught my daughters go into the nearest shop and ask for help.

There are more examples of how we, as women, know the rules to attempt to protect ourselves from male violence.

Should we add another rule to being female?

If we feel sleepy, groggy unexpectedly or if we are having unexplained gyno medical issues should the rule be set up a camera to check our husband hasn’t been drugging us and getting random men in to rape us unconscious?

I mean what is wrong with men as a sex class.

and the rise in men spitting and attack random girls.

For those without X
The 26-second clip from Howth Junction DART station on April 1, 2021, shows teenage boys jostling sprinting young women, with one girl falling into the platform gap but rescued unharmed by bystanders. Three local Dublin teens aged 13-16 faced charges, receiving probation instead of detention, leaving the victim feeling let down. Reposted on March 31, 2026, it drew over 50,000 likes, sparking comments on women's safety, youth behavior, and debates over penalties, though the boys were confirmed as local Irish youths.

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Then a male poster named Jack responds to the article blaming the girls

"I don't understand why those girls are acting that oblivious to the situation. I mean what happened, it's disgusting. But there is an extreme lack of awareness on part of the girls being attacked. Don't run near a train. That's just common sense and basic instinct for most adults. So these girls are lacking basic spatial awareness, even before you get to the obviously hostile attackers that they are not properly addressing. There were several obvious attempts by the attsckerd to appear innocent while attacking the girls walking by. But it happened so many times and no one appeared to notice. Even the girls. Even the girls who got hit. Maybe they assumed it was unintentional. Idk it's a really weird scene. Just too many successfully executed "unintentional" strikes in such a short time. And no one responds. I'm not sure it could even be so well executed if intentional. But the population needs to be hardened. Thede girls were never given any fight training. They don't know how to stand or walk in a hostile environment. They have never been tought to respect dangerous areas when it comes to running. So they were neglected. In how they were raised. Walk on the side furthest the train. Slow down or stop to hold your ground against oncommers who are not giving you space. Trying to continue running to the tain when there is someone obviously blocking you and then taking the train side path is stupid. Stand ground. Walk in groups. People need to not ignore their surroundings. But I hope every single attacker does or did jail time. They deserve worse. Far worse. Because people like that have no empathy and won't change. But my guess is they walked without so much as a stern look though. Just s disgusting sequence of events. One I wish I didn't have to see. I hope the girl got out okay. I've seen cases where they were not so lucky."

men spitting at females at a train station

@wellindeed - re the idea that men don’t rape for sexual gratification, they rape because they want to show they have power - I struggle with it somehow. Surely men could show they have power in other ways, e.g. by making women and children visibly scared, or by making them do non-sexual things. But they don’t usually, it’s usually sexual. I think men do want sexual gratification, and they think that woman are ‘less than’ them, so they just take what they want.

If you think about the different forms of sexual assault, like groping, intimidation via lewd comments and as many prostitutes bear witness to it can be violent physical assault like battery. Therefore it really is about control and power.

I think it can be harmful to mix up sexual gratification and rape because it can excuse the rapist somewhat by thinking he had a sexual urge, or was deeply attracted to the woman and couldn’t control himself. This often leads to victim blaming.

I think the vast majority of rapes are about control. Think about all the college rape cases where sports jock types have raped women. This is not because they could find a consenting woman, it’s all about power.

They get off on it. It's a mix of power, enjoying humiliating the woman, taking out their life frustrations and feelings of inadequacy, punishing her for the sins of women (in their eyes), mummy issues, the whole lot. And yes, sadistic sexual pleasure too. They hate us so much.

I dont think you can pin it down to a single reason. Thats too simplistic.

Its a whole festering pot of their issues and failings and they make us pay for it.

Wow!
Girls, plan for aggressive men between you and your train. Allow time for evasive manoeuvres, to plot a route, and ensure you are able to gather a group before attempting to catch a train.

Don’t wait until the usual time to get to the platform, see there’s a gang of bullies, and hope running will help you get past them before the train goes.

Thanks @wellindeed and @Error404FucksNotFound - it’s good to talk about these things to try to get some kind of understanding (as awful as they are to even think about).

Agree with other posters - NAMALT is running out of road really. There’s an epidemic of violence enacted by men, and men should be contributing just as much as women to the social outrage about this.

Yes, I’ll add that to my list of high alert vigilance while I’m travel in broad daylight to catch a train. Wouldn’t want Jack to think it was my fault if random boys started kicking me and spitting at me at the train station and I ended up under a train.

To do list

Book spacial training to avoid getting kicked and spat at.

And at every turn, we find the search for solutions focussing on what it is that such men lack, or need, to the point of arriving at a conclusion which in at least one paragraph, will cite emasculation caused by Feminism. The poor guys just want some respect (female subjugation)!

Very interesting reading. I remember that Howth thing, and as an Irish resident recognise a certain sardonic flavour in characterising the vile miscreants as ‘just Irish youths’.
Too bloody right….’Irish youths’ are seemingly never, ever on the strait and narrow, but are forever assaulting, murdering, robbing, or mowing down while riding a stolen eBike.

I don’t it is that rare anymore. Yes there’s a lot of decent guys that are good and respectful but there’s also a lot of ones that aren’t.

Nothing will change until the "good men" refuse to continue to ignore the humiliation and abuse we face from their relatives, friends, colleagues, and neighbours.

Oh absolutely.
Apparently what they need is lessons on not raping. These are now actually in our school curriculums and Europe wide. That's how bad it is.

They don’t see it though.

Internalised misogyny is in everyone, even the strongest feminists.

Yes, I'm well aware of that.

It's not just the good men unfortunately. Plenty women tolerate and enable misogynistic men in their own family and friend circles.
Every time these men are invited to a family birthday, that's them being accepted, that's their behaviour being accepted.
There's one in my family, thankfully near the end of his life but I am the only one who is no contact.
It will be interesting to see how many of these rapists are supported by their families and how many are disowned. I think I already know the answer though.

What is also very disturbing and unacceptable among all this terrible stuff is the very low sentences the rapists receive. In the Pelicot case the prison sentences were pitifully low. Here Zoe Watts' husband got 8 years only for a decade or more of rapes against her. What is wrong with men? And what is wrong with our criminal justice system?

If you want to know more about the campaign you can visit the endeyecheck.org website. They are currently carrying out an anonymous survey for those affected #endeyecheck

I completely agree but it is also true that most men only listen to other men. I'm so sorry you're in this position. I hope you have made your own family in your community.

The two concepts - male power and sexual penetration - are atavistically linked. The word 'penis' comes from the same root as 'weapon'. In ancient languages, they were the same word. In cave paintings, how do we know the hunters with spears and bows are men? Because their penises are sticking out.

This power isn't about straightforward dominance, like kids bullying a smaller one. It's explicitly about virility (from a root meaning strength, life-force, and man). Since I'm here: 'vagina' comes from the word for 'sheath', as in sword holder.

I know quite a few people who think they’ve been slipped drugs in their drinks when with men. I won’t go through all the other stuff the women in my family and friends have experienced but it’s a very significant amount and some very serious (including rape and attempted rape).
We have a massive and growing problem with men and we need to treat each one as a predator with a weapon until we feel certain we can be safe with them (if ever).
I’d be happy now to bring back the death penalty.

I find this very interesting. And also scary. Do men basically see their penis as a weapon? If so, why?

I think the numbers would agree with you nearly 75000 reported rapes / attempted rapes in England and Wales last year plus more north of the border. Crime survey (carried out by ONS) would suggest only 1 in 6 offences is reported.

Approximately 4% of the population over the age of 16 (I’m assuming mostly women) have experienced rape / attempted rape. That’s 1.9 million people. It doesn’t sound rare.

The answer must be testosterone, though you'd need a consortium of neuro-endocrinologists to look into that! Fighting, physical exertion and sexual excitement all trigger testosterone spikes. The last thing I read about this also brought in adrenaline and cortisol (am not scientific enough to explain the interactions).

It seems likely that a hormone which produces rapid surges of energy, impulsiveness, competitiveness and semen would've been useful in evolutionary terms. It's unfortunate that the sex part of its multi-functional effects didn't get them killed often enough to have favoured evolution of a separate reproductive driver.

... I'm now imagining a history in which Early Human women rushed out into killing fields to distract the men, shag 'em and stab 'em, thus changing the course of human development to something more equitable 👀

It is an interesting question. I think if you were to look at the history we’d see that men have been wielding their penises( sp peni?) as a weapon of war for millennia.

An egalitarian relationship (both parties being equal) is a relatively modern ideal, it’s not so very long ago that it was considered legal to rape your wife for example. Consent having been given at the point of marriage.

On the flip side to women being regarded being equals you see the rise in toxic masculinity, incels, violent pornography exacerbated by an online culture meaning men and boys never having to handle real life rejection. In a way it shouldn’t surprise us the number of men willing to rape another man’s unconscious wife.

Apoarently the next big social problem will be male loneliness. Which at this point doesn’t seem surprising either.

Is that not already a huge problem?