AIBU to think my neighbour’s cat care problem is not mine?

[Thepartwhereidrun]

My neighbour stopped my son on his way out last night to ask if he would look after her cat when she is away from tomorrow for 2 weeks, going in twice a day. He said sorry but he couldn’t.

I didn’t know she had spoken to him until she knocked our door and told us. Her cat sitter has let her down last minute and now she won’t be able to go on holiday unless she can find someone else. Nightmare for her, but her cat sitter is ill so it can’t be helped. I said I can’t help her but I text our dog sitter, who also does cat sitting to ask if she had availability and said I’d get back to her if she could do it.

She asked if I would also ask my son again, which I did when he got home, but he doesn’t want to do it. He has just finished his A levels and wants to be free to come and go as he pleases which is understandable. I said that if he has said no then that means he can’t.

Our dog sitter text me back to say she didn’t have any availability for the first week but could do the second week. I text my neighbour to let her know and to give her sitters contact details. She has just text back ‘no good, what am I meant to do for the first week?’

I haven’t replied as although I get she is probably feeling desperate, how the fuck is her cat my problem?

Totally agree.
The whole contex of original post changing as unfounded assumptions being made. At first it seemed as if neighbour had organized a cat sitter who became ill and had to let her down. So neighbkur asked OP and son. Nothing wrong with that surely. Some poster suggested they lived on other side of town. Chinese whispers or not?
THEson going away and the impression from ORIgNAL post is that OP couldnt commit herself. The whole tone of post was that it wasnt her problem. Fair enough,but as so many people commented they would give up 10 mins a day to help out,suddenly we find OP is on holiday. Obviously if this is the case why post. It is impossible to do it. End of.
But no mention of holiday to begin with. Think posters are making a mountain out of a molehill and getting really angry that lots of us would happilypop in a couple if times a day to feed said cat. After all not neighbours fault cat sitter was ill.
But I agree. If some of us dont see a problem for OP,we find ourselves at the end of bizarre posts about holidays and us not reading post correctly and maybe OP lives on other side of town.
No point on replying to this. I opt out. Hope neighbour gets her holiday!

I think it is pretty obvious she never arranged a cat sitter. Couldn't remember what the cat sitter had been going to charge her. Didn't arrange another or a book a cattery from the numbers given to her by OP's son. Didn't follow through properly on OP's son's friend's paid sitting offer. Flung the cat care on elderly neighbours who have carers, with no offer of financial recompense, and zero preparation, not even a key.

The neighbours attitude to payment made people question that. If she’d had a legit sitter booked how come she really wanted a replacement for free and objected to paying some pretty token rates? She would have been paying a proper sitter much more than the nice second teen offered, which she rejected.

She said she had a sitter organised, but it seems highly doubtful given her behaviour.

She then didn't ring any other sitters or catteries, and refused OP's son's offer to find numbers for her or ring any for her.

She also refused the son's friend's offer.

She's a cheapskate who didn't want to have to pay the going rate for a cat sitter.
And she has guilted the disabled old couple opposite into doing it for her for free! And they will effectively be paying their carers to do it!
CF-ery of the highest order.

What a horrible cat owner-how dare she lumber her neighbours with the problem she couldn’t be arsed to pay someone to do properly.

The poor cat.

OP and her son offered lots of suggestions, owner wanted to do. She could have had it all organised really well, but simply didn’t want to make the phone calls and pay the (extremely cheap) fees requested.

Hopefully the elderly couple don’t end up in hospital, because the carers won’t come if so. And also hoping they aren’t allergic to cats because they’re the ones doing all the grunt work and they’re the only ones who weren’t bloody asked!

OP and her son offered lots of suggestions, none of which the owner wanted to do

This is not cat feeding only it is keeping an eye on the house too. OP, you and your son have no need to further check in or explain to anyone that you can’t do it. I’d just leave it all now and the neighbour can pop the cat in a cattery and organise someone to check in on her house via professional services.

Oh you’ve not read the updates then? OP is way, way past that stage.

Op said she and her son couldn’t do it in her first post. The reasons didn’t matter. She said they couldn’t, so there was obviously a reason she couldn’t. The reason was irrelevant to the post because the post was actually about a person being a cheeky fucker making their problem into another persons problem and being rude.

The point is, OP said she couldn’t do it and the neighbour was an arse about it and OP posted to vent.

Certain posters decided that they needed to judge whether OP and her kids reason was good enough for them when that should never have been questioned. OP wasn’t obliged, she said no. The neighbour was wrong, regardless of OPs reasons, which is what OP posted about. The thread evolved because the OP explained the situation more fully for the posters who hadn’t accepted that she couldn’t help when she said she couldn’t. Those posters then decided that OP was making it up the reason she couldn’t help. Crazy fuckers.

You hope OP gets her holiday? She has because she has been cheeky all over again. But that’s what you are hoping, really? Personally, that’s the last thing I’d be hoping for. I hope the elderly couple and their carers are ok. I hope they don’t trip over the cat and fall. I hope the cat is ok. I hope OP tells the neighbour how appalling her behaviour has been, from being rude to her at the start, right through to dumping her cat on an poor elderly couple who aren’t capable of looking after the him.

I think the entire quote is “no is a complete sentence… unless it pertains to cats” 🙄
Honestly, the entitlement of some cat owners is astounding. No wonder this woman doesn’t have any friends who could have done it. They’ve probably all sacked her off because she’s an entitled cow.

My Son has also just finished his A levels and he's working full-time ay a holiday park.
I'm sure the reason she asked your son,wwas that she would have paid him. The reason she was probably abrupt was that it's not a big ask, and most people I would hope would also think the same. My neighbour came in and collected my dog when she was barking and sat in there for 3 hours 😃

RTFT, its too late.

why is what your son is doing relevant in any way? Have you RTFT?

Yes, she offered to pay him a total of £30 for two whole weeks.

Sweet Jesus.

Cancel the cheque already.

I'm kind of annoyed the neighbour went so far with her CFery because it takes the focus off the fact she's been a CF all the way through. Imagine asking (fine), asking again (pushing it now) then not taking no for an answer and behaving like op and son were somehow responsible for finding a solution.

She's an utter cowbag and I hope OP reads her the riot act when she gets back.

Clearly neighbour didn't want to pay anyone any money. From OP's OP:

Our dog sitter text me back to say she didn’t have any availability for the first week but could do the second week. I text my neighbour to let her know and to give her sitters contact details. She has just text back ‘no good, what am I meant to do for the first week?’

In first week, she could have organised the son's friend to do it, as offered.

Agree, the solution (which was found by OP using her contacts, she then texted them too) was right there had she been serious about the cat. Instead, the cat is homeless, apparently there’s another heatwave on the way, and is being fed by carers who she didn’t actually ask.

Some ‘cat lover’ huh?

She offered him £30 the first time she asked him. (very very cheeky amount).
He said he couldn't.
Then she offered him £50. (still very cheeky amount).
He told her again that he COULDN'T.

Context - he's working 2 jobs. This week is his only chance this summer to go away with a group of friends - they're going camping. It was arranged a while ago. He's working the rest of the summer.

Son asked a friend (who can't go on the camping trip because he's working) - friend said he could do it, for £15/day. (less than cattery or sitter).
Cat owner said no, too expensive.
Which throws doubt on her 'sick cat sitter cancelled', because that person would have been charging her more.
Also, she "couldn't remember" how much she would have paid the original sitter.

You say "it's not a big ask" - 2 visits a day for 2 weeks, so 28 visits: walk round there (long drives), find cat, brush cat as necessary (very long hair, gets matted easily), clear/change litter tray, give food/water, wash bowls, and give medication.

More context: OP is working away this week, as she often does, which is why she originally said "I can't do it".
CAN'T. Not WON'T.

Reading comprehension is a useful thing.

The CF neighbour has now taken massive advantage of her really elderly and immobile neighbours and their carers. OP has said:

'The carer has text the cheeky neighbour to say it’s too much for the couple to manage but she hasn’t replied.

I told the carer the whole story, including my son’s friend being willing to help. The carer is really annoyed that cheeky neighbour has taken advantage of the elderly couple. She said there is no way that they can manage to care for the cat properly and that she and the other carers will now be stuck doing it.

The cheeky neighbour hasn’t even given the elderly neighbours her keys, not that they would be able to go around to her house anyway, she has just asked them to feed the cat morning and night in their garden, so the cat has no access to his own house.'

The CF neighbour clearly doesn't give a fuck about her cat to leave it with two elderly people who use walking aids and have daily carers. She is obviously just prioritising saving money as she hasn't offered to pay either the elderly neighbours or their carers.

Agree
he doesn’t have to but i would want to raise a child who helped out a neighbour

I‘d rather have a child who turned up to work, and organised the neighbours entire cat care for the full two weeks, despite the fact she then turned around and said ‘nah’.

ok so send your child's details and they can pop round.

Which the son did. He asked around, and his friend agreed to do it for £15 a day. This offer was rejected by the neighbour.

Obviously. You can't say yes to doing something if you're physically not there to do it