To have not backed down on this shit of a man on the train?

[Chefpig]

I went to the toilet on a busy commuter train. Came back and the person I was sat next to has his feet on the seat I had vacated. I said excuse me please to him and he begrudgingly moved his feet and sat down. Hes way over my seat with his body anyway with the way he's sat but when I sat down he said 'for fucks sake'. When I asked if there was an issue and not to say for fucks sake to my simple request, he said I was sitting on his knee. I am absolutely not touching him. I told him so and that the way he is sitting means he is taking up some of my seat and that hes very rude, including putting his skanky feet on the seat. He shut up then, but its time after time of men (and a few women, but mostly men) who have their bags on the seats or are just shit fellow commuters with their incessant sniffing and just being unpleasant when asked to move their belongings to free up a seat. AIBU?

I think what she's asking is if he was sat next to you and after you got up, how did he put his feet on your seat, like did he swing his body round and put his feet up on the seat you were in.

Apologies for my flippant post. No doubt implied as to the validity of your post.

Men on trains can be awful. I'd rather women's carriages than quiet ones personally.

Good for you. I travelled on a long distance train recently and found a man sitting in the seat I'd reserved when i joined the train midway. It was a very crowded train and I've no objection to him sitting there until I got on in the hope that I wouldn't turn up, but when I asked him to move, he tried to just pretend I wasn't there or it wasn't him I was talking to. So I said really clearly, "You're sitting in the seat I reserved. It's my seat and I want it." He looked appalled at my audacity but since everyone was staring by then, he got up and slunk away. I'm disabled as well. Did he think I was just going to say, "Oh, well, you have it then." Cheeky git.

Doesn't make sense, sorry.

Sometimes I despair at my own sex. News today full of rapists, murderers and other violent criminals. Every single one a man!

Well done, OP. They need telling every time.

I had it this week - on the tube, got a seat (miracle) and then some guy comes and plonks himself down next to me and proceeds to lean against me, so his arm is well over the dividing line between the seats, over my space.

I suppose he expected me to just take it, but I said 'Your arm is in my space. This is the line between our seats. This side of it is my space. You need to keep within your own space, on your side of the dividing line'. He looked at me as if I had two heads, but did then move back into his own area. Didn't say sorry, though.

It's like it just doesn't occur to them to take stock of their surroundings and work out what's their space, and what belongs to others. They're quite happy to take up more than their fair share of space.

Male entitlement.

I assume the OP means he swung round and leant against the wall/window with his feet up on her seat.

I have tried to normalize putting the arm half down, so it acts as a barrier. When it’s up it’s invisible; when it’s down, they can put their arm well over it into your space. When they do this their legs tend to drift over too. Often the person just looks puzzled and puts it all the way down. I’d like to have the guts to put it back to halfway and say “I’d like it there so you cant put your arm over it into my space” . But I don’t.
please feel free to work with me on this 😆

Travelling on a very busy train this week, elderly people were standing while 3 young women were each occupying 2 seats (one each for their bags). I said "Excuse me please" to the nearest girl while looking at her bag. She tutted and lifted her bag. The others then lifted their bags and 2 other people were able to sit. However, the 20 something female sitting in the seat allocated for use by the elderly, sat tight while 2 elderly men were standing. Extremely inconsiderate.

Well done on the bags front
However I was already quite disabled by my twenties but it would not have been obvious to a causal observer - I would have looked fit and healthy to the untrained eye. The priority seats are for disabled and the elderly

No YANBU. I absolutely detest rude obnoxious people like this, putting his filthy trotters up on a seat and having the audacity to swear at you. What a pr*ck.

I was on a longish journey on a packed train a few years ago. Friend and I got a drink from the on board shop and walked through a couple of carriages- told friend to grab a seat I spotted as I had seen one further down. Guy had his big suitcase wedged onto the seat next to him, headphones in, using his laptop. I politely asked him to move the case so I could sit down and he said " I can't I don't want it out of my sight". I said "so you're not going to move it?". He completely ignored me.

I walked back to the shop to ask the lovely guy working there how to find the guard as someone was refusing to move his bag. Lovely (very tall/imposing!) guy said "I can help with that". Stalked ahead of me to cunty bollocks "have you got a ticket for that case sir? No? Move it now so this lady can sit down".

Pathetic bloke bleating that he would have moved it had I asked. Me - " No you wouldn't have. Stop lying". My friend laughing and I proceed to sit down and text her what a twat he is.

Absolute prick

Clearly, he twisted sideways whilst op was gone..it's very easy to do. Wrong, and ill mannered, but easy.

Wouldn't she have just said he was doing that?

I thought she meant he moved to sit opposite and put his feet up.

The fact she hasn't clarified with two extra posts, and just repeated herself, is a little bit odd.

It's a pity hat pins are out of vogue.

Sadly I’ve come to realise that there’s a lot of people like this in the world. The same people who use parent and child spaces, drop litter in the street, drive recklessly and are just generally rude and selfish.
They seem to enjoy pissing the rest of us off.
Hope you have a lovely weekend and karma gets him x

This - recently on a train it was 2 women taking 2 seats when l asked one of them to move her bag so that l can sit l got daggers.

Good for telling him I would of too. Can't stand seeing feet on seats.

Welcome to the world of older man twatdom and bullying. They unfortunately get worse with age.
Sad gets.

Good for you for standing up tor yourself.
👍

Putting shoes on seats is gross. And people who keep bags on seats when train is busy give me rage; they always do announcements telling people not to do it but people really shouldn't have to be told not to be inconsiderate aresholes.

I do too - I will put it down as I sit down.

I have also stuck hard objects in between the seats as a demarcation when there’s no arm rest (as in I’ll be sitting in one seat and knowing the train is going to fill up, put something in between the two seats to make it clear).

If he didn’t want it out of his sight he should have stood with it!

Or taken the aisle seat with the bag in the aisle if it wasn’t too full.

Wow you’re rude. They are not questioning the story just how he was sitting with his feet up if next to you. Was he crossed legged? Did he have his back to the window and feet spread out…. Maybe it’s you who is a bit “doh”… (horribly rude term) I had sympathy for you until I read that. Maybe you’re someone who just likes a fight and could get in a fight in an empty room.

If I'm not on a crowded train i put my bag on the seat next to me to stop creepy /smelly /man spreading males sitting next to me, but i will always move it for a woman or child without being asked, of course - men are such a hazard to lone women on public transport unfortunately.

Exactly. People wanted clarification and she was unnecessarily aggressive and rude, and gave none.

I suspect the reality of the incident is significantly different to what we've been told.