AIBU to ask why ADHD and autism are dismissed as disabilities?

[SummerAtaris]

There’s been a tonne of threads about benefits recently and there seems to be a recurring theme that ‘only the most severe disabilities should get any help’ and they almost always mention that people suffering with MH health issues, or ‘non issues’ like ADHD should be cut off from help. I’d like to know what those people in particular think adhd is, and why they don’t consider it to be a disability.

I am 44 years old, I have level 1 autism and ‘combined type’ adhd. I have worked since I left school at 16. I raised my eldest 3 children from my first marriage by myself, all 3 are diagnosed with varying degrees of neurodivergences (didn’t know that at the time)

I am now married to a wonderful man, and we have children together, they are also ND.

It is a challenge every single day to just make myself wash & brush my teeth. And I need to try and herd 2
other people with the same issues to do the same.

I am massively in debt, because the filter that everyone else seems to have that tell you, no don’t do it, just isn’t there.

I literally cannot sleep. I try. But my brain is almost always stuck in a loop of catastrophising, and is running a chorus of a song that I hate over and over and over and there’s nothing I can do about it. When I do sleep I’m still catastrophising and have incredibly vivid nightmares and wake up sad, anxious and depressed and I can’t shake off my dreams easily.

I go from 7 or so days of zero sleep, then pass out and am comatose for 48-72 hours approx.

I forget to eat, I forget to drink water. I don’t know that I need the bathroom until my bladder is literally about to burst.

I suffer from boredom so extreme that I’ve attempted suicide multiple times.

‘Masking’ takes everything that I have. By the time I get home after any social event (by event I mean anything that needs me to present as a ‘normal’ person, school drops offs, appointments etc) leave me gasping for breath, physically stimming to the point my muscles are crying out and I still can’t stop, endlessly ruminating over conversations I had to participate in against my will.

This is not a comprehensive list. I’ll remember this post for the rest of my life and there will always be things I should have added to it.

My body is perfectly fine. I’m not disabled in that way. But my brain, my bodies operating system, IS disabled. I’m so tired of hearing that adhd and lower levels of autism are not disabling. They absolutely fucking are. I manage the school run these days and that’s pretty much it. I haven’t been able to work for around 8 years now.

Go ahead. Tell me how you’d employ me.

Ok, everyone is autistic then.

Thats honestly where this is heading, I’m not even intending to be rude.

agree completely. Funny how their mums/girlfriends don’t need to accompany them on a date or to a social event, but they need 24/7 handholding for basic tasks like waking up in the morning or taking a shower? No, I wasn’t born yesterday.

I have been very depressed on and off. I do get that overwhelming feeling of not wanting to get up, but I don’t believe it’s so strong that somebody wouldn’t do it if offered a million quid. They CAN do these things but say, and talk themselves into believing, they can’t.

We are heading that way where the label is useless. That’s the point isn’t it.

So many people have traits and things that could get them that official label it’s stretched too far covering too many people to mean much.

Ironically, I might be autistic (DS is diagnosed, he takes after me so much), but my inclination to rule following and rigid thinking mean I can't self diagnose or identify myself as autistic.

(I'm not judging those who do. Waiting times for adult assessment here were two years, then funding was decreased so goodness knows how long it is now.)

No they absolutely don’t. Three main areas are focused on in diagnosis and the bar is high. Only 1% of people have an autism diagnosis in the uk. Stop talking complete nonsense.

Then the statisticians need to resign in disgrace as probably every poster here knows way more than 1 child with autism. I saw a thread where teachers responded and it averaged about 5 per class of 30.

I wasn’t talking just autism but ok.

Everyone on my Facebook seems to be getting adhd diagnosis as adults currently. All privately mind.

Found it!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5486988-to-ask-if-youre-a-teacher

Yes, very common, ‘my adhd brain’ etc

There are three in my youngest child’s class.

This own op has 4 or more Sen children. That’s some high stats.

Old neighbour 2 autistic children one side the other had a mix of various including a global delay.

I think I know more autistic or sen children than I do NT these days tbh.

At DD’s school it’s 4 in her class of 26. That I know of for definite.

ADHD is underdiagnosed in this country. Only 3-5% of people have it.

Maybe educate yourself via the NHS Taskforce as opposed to Facebook

www.england.nhs.uk/long-read/report-of-the-independent-adhd-taskforce-part-1/

I’m going by what friends and colleges are sharing about their lives.

If a friend tells me she’s been diagnosed why would I think she is a lier. If a retired teacher who one taught my child shared their delight at their adhd meds working and clearing the fog why would I call her a lier?

Ooo ok your DD’s class trumps experts in the field doing a big indepth NHS study.

It wasnt this thread I think, or perhaps it was but a psychiatrist posted about the percentage of severity, so it used to be those in the top 5% of severity who were diagnosed and now its those in the top 10%, so the bar has absolutely been widered and the diagnositic criteria has changed over the years as well

It will change again, these things always do.

Your gossip with friends isn’t data!

Friends DD is 7, non verbal and autistic (though due to her moving multiple times, not diagnosed). No-one could convince me that’s not a disability. She’s in another zone most of the time. 100% a disability. Obviously ND is a scale, and not all same.

No it’s real life experience about their real lives.

Clearly lots of people live in clusters of mass diagnoses while others live in the lands of non lables only.

🙄

By your description, you clearly are disabled. When you've been sectioned and/or suicidal, that is a severe and life threatening disability.

I think some people though feel that autism and ADHD are sometimes less disabling in some people or impact on functioning is fluctuating. However, because there are autistic people who will never have children or get married and who very literally do wet themselves, and need people to change their pads, it can be difficult for family carers to be told how severe an autistic person's disability is when that person is taking their kids to school, working (sometimes a high income) or getting a masters degree or something.

Personally, I'm wary of in fighting and still believe people with what used to be called "high functioning autism" (but clearly is not all that high functioning in many cases...) should still get benefits if they need them.

You can only get an autism or ADHD diagnoses if the traits are causing significant impairments. It’s just not always obvious to the observer what those difficulties are.

But correct data is being done re the country as a whole which shows autism rates are 1% and adhd is 3-5%.

I don't know why anyone would seek a diagnosis to start with if they did not have something going on that was bothering them.

If you take into account OAPs and the over 50s, yes. If you look at school age children it will be much much higher.

Google says the population of England alone is estimated at 58million.

1% of that is still a bloody lot. 3-5% even more clearly.

Since a lot of disability runs in families and is higher within certain communities as well it makes sense there will be pockets of high diagnoses.

Like the op she’s had at least 4 or 5 children all of them have Sen clearly she is a carrier of what her children have and they have inherited that I say her because there are two dads involved. If she was at my child’s school I could say I know one family where the mother and five children have Sen. It wouldn’t be wrong but it’s one family where they have a high rate.

We know autism is under diagnosed in the UK and wait lists are insanely long- the figures for children are 1% to 1.8% of children in the UK that are formally diagnosed with autism. However, population-based studies suggest that up to 3% of school-aged children (roughly 1 in 34) may be autistic, with many remaining undiagnosed.

Re ADHD The NHS Independent ADHD Taskforce estimates that ADHD affects approximately 5% of children. However, the taskforce report highlights that the condition remains under-recognized, and a high percentage of these children face severe waiting times for formal assessments and care across the UK.