Sad that Dh can’t make Dd’s show

[Pretendingtocareaboutthefootball]

Dd has a singing, end of year show this week at 10 am, it only lasts around 20 minutes. He says he’s unable to get time off work, Dd is sad and asking him to please come and it just breaks my heart

You haven't actually said if he can't actually get time off work or if he's choosing not to. There's a difference. Or if he could in theory but in reality it would be a massive pain in the arse resulting in stressful catching up or losing a full day's holiday later in the year. I
You can't make him feel bad about it if he doesn't have a choice.

Depending on location of school and work he could be needing to use up half a day’s leave.
If he wfh near school it’s still going to be an hour. Sometimes it’s possible to take lunch early but if he’s got a meeting etc not possible. There’s only so much goodwill personally I’d save it for a time when you can’t go or a bigger event like yr6 leaving assembly.

I work in early years and not every child has a parent at every event.

dh never made it to many events at school as he had to work and was working all over Scotland, so it was impossible . He was the breadwinner when our children were younger so his work was extremely important.

My kids are a lot older.

Can I please give a little bit of advice to you youngies with primary age kids.

Time flies. They are young for such a short amount of time.

Take some time off work to go to these events there are probably about 4 per year.
Is your company going to collapse if you take one hour off to attend something way more important to your own DC than making some money for the company you work for?
X

@Shelleyblueeyes my husband couldn't attend most school things - the patients in his operating theatre might not have been happy if he'd just popped out because a school concert of 20 minutes was much more important than them! Oh, and that company he worked for (the NHS) kept a roof over our heads, food on the table and meant we could have quality time as a family.(I was self employed so went to everything on behalf of us both.) Quality time spent as a family is way more important than a school concert.

Yep. I knew I'd get haters.
It's another perspective that won't suit everyone but the point is they are only young for a short time and it it's at all possible (might not be if you're a surgeon) if it's possible you should move heaven and earth to attend.
Also luckily enough schools tend to give these dates well in advance to allow parents to book time off.

This is just my opinion which I believe is the point of MN.
X

Is it actually possible for him to take the time off work?
One solution could be he takes annual leave and then you have lunch out together

Yes this ffs

@Shelleyblueeyes I'm not a hater. You implied we should all attend these events (that my adult children don't give a stuff about but do remember our family holidays, days out etc) because they are more important than money. You didn't mention that doctors, nurses, midwives, police, firefighters, prison workers, bus drivers, train drivers, teachers, members of the military (and probably lots of others) can't just take time off when it suits them and they aren't just making money for big companies. Where possible it is nice for a parent to attend school events but schools don't make it easy - there are many weeks of school holidays which parents use their annual leave to cover which probably feels more important than a concert.... Oh and 'this is just my opinion which I believe is the point of MN'....

For someone who's not a hater........

Sad, fuck me.

But that's completely unrelated to your DD and how she feels. Don't mix them up and push your feelings about DH not going onto her, that's really unfair.