You see a child having a meltdown... How do you react?

[Velumental]

I saw something on Facebook that triggered this, say you're in a park and you see a child, he's almost 5 foot tall and built like a small rugby player, go from having fun to screaming, stamping, throwing himself on the ground, maybe trying to run from his parent or hit his parent. From observing the situation 10 mins previously you're aware he was playing in an entirely ordinary way with a group of similar aged friends for half an hour previously. He's the only child upset, his parent is with him, you're nearby. Your children are in the park too, starting to maybe look over.

Thoughts and actions?

This ^

But then how will children learn?

My son is disabled and of course I'd rather people (like other parents) discuss him with their kids and how he's different because otherwise the kids bully him.

😂 I remember my mum saying this to my sister in a farm foods when I was about 5 and then my sister screamed so loud I started crying. I don’t think it’s ever worked.

So would I !

I'd just ignore. The parent probably doesn't want an audience gaping at them.

I think I saw this or similar of facebook today? The post I saw was by an autism mum, I thought it was a bit strong but as an autism mum myself I get the gist. Just temporarily give them space and don’t get in the way. My child has had a couple of melt downs in shops where they lie on the floor and make themselves impossible to pick up 🤦‍♀️🤣. For us it’s been older women each time who stare without saying anything and HAVE to look at the item my child is under at that precise time 😵‍💫.

I would ask if there was anything I could do to help, If not I would walk away.

Big child flailing around playing football or play-fighting if liable to get out of control is also a danger and one I warn them to stay away from.

My children will have experienced childhood differently from yours because, being smaller, they got hurt a lot more by others. That has its own repercussions.

Frankly, your frustration will be no match for the anger I feel at the adults who let my children be hurt by out of control kids. Sitting in A&E with your kid and telling them that yes, they do have to go back into class on Monday with the kid who pushed a bookcase over on them is pretty devastating too.

I would find the throwing punches quite disturbing
I can not handle sceaming i find it highly stressful
Sympathy towards you dealing with difficult behaviour...sorry but I wouldnt want my child watching such behaviour its disturbing.
I can not watch adults hit each other makes me sick.

I wouldn’t react at all, unless somebody was actively harming the child. I can’t imagine how it would be helpful for me to make my presence felt in this situation. I would probably want to give a reassuring smile or something, but I wouldn’t because I know some parents would find that obnoxious.

Something very similar happened the other day when I was at the park.
At first I was alarmed because I didn’t know what was happening. Then I looked over, and quickly worked out what the situation probably was.
My daughter asked why someone was shouting. I said I don’t know, maybe someone with special needs. Then we went.
I have been in many situations where autistic adults/ adults with psychiatric illnesses or disabilities have lost it and become loud/ aggressive and/ or violent. What you’re describing is nothing compared to that so it barely comes up on my radar. In my experience, parents usually know exactly what they’re doing and I would only offer help if there was a clear need.

I agree. Kids are constantly observing and they will be learning something from how their own parent deals with the situation. So I'd absolutely be thinking about what behaviour I wanted to model to my child.

I would simply think ‘thank the lord it isn’t mine kicking off’.

Hats off to you OP, it really isn’t a fun situation to deal with in a public setting when everyone seems to stop and stare for their own entertainment.

I don't have kids so probably would try make eye contact to see if you were ok, especially if he's hitting you.

Not sure if that's a bad idea or not but I'd prefer to check, with as little intrusion as possible, just in case.

The only one time I ever asked a mum if he wanted help was in the supermarket. She had 3 kids and one was having a melt down and bolted so I asked if she wanted me to stay with the other two while she want after the runner. Poor women looked exhausted.

I am sure she appreciated that. I would have done too. 🙂

I have had some lovely experiences in real life even when people have stepped in in really appropriate ways. Several times when I've had meltdowns about going to school he has refused to cross the busy road, mums I barely know have introduced themselves and taken my youngest hand for me to help her across safely while I half carry my eldest. People have opened gates, taken bags from my arms, taken my car key to open a car door for me. Some people seem to be so good at these situations because they've been in them. I in turn coaxed a fellow school mums 4 yr old to school with some chocolate buttons I found in my bag while he was attempting to elope.

My experience has been I'd say 3:1 kindness:judgement. I'll happily take that because sure anyone can be having a bad day even the other mums reacting badly to my stressful situation

If I felt it was appropriate, I would offer help or I would do nothing - not stare etc. just carry on my day.

There but for the grace of God go I?