Feeling uncomfortable after sharing a seat with a very obese passenger

[Bayleaftree63]

On public transport earlier. A very large woman sits nexts to me. She couldn’t get the seat belt
round her. Her body spilt over into my seat, leaving me squashed with what little space there was left.

On the journey I couldn’t help be annoyed at the lack of space I was left with and questioning how do people let themselves get to that size. Talking morbidly obese, not just larger - whatever the medical
term.

This isn’t about shaming, more I’m in disbelief people being that big are happy? Why wouldn’t you want to loose some weight for a healthier lifestyle.

Perhaps spend some time educating yourself - obesity is a chronic, relapsing disease. There's nothing as repulsive as an uneducated, ignorant individual like you.

Frankly if someone is taking my space, that I have paid for, I don’t care why they’re fat. I care that they think they’re entitled to my seat.

Someone taking my space in whatever form has the exact same impact to me whether it’s their entire leg or their fat spread.

You don't care why they're fat. That says a lot.

Also you not having enough space. That's the airlines fault. Not the persons fault.

I also know several women, including myself who became overweight after being raped.

It's a common trauma response to rape.

The woman becomes scared to look female or attractive in any way and so puts on weight

It’s not my business why they’re fat, it doesn’t concern me.
You’re being so sensitive that you’re actually not reading what people are saying and you’re running wild with little out of context quotes and attaching meaning to it that wasn’t there.

It’s not the airlines fault, it’s the fault of the person next to me.

So what do you suggest?

You seem to be suffering from an extreme case of Blesséd and Beautiful Life Syndrome there @Numbchill.

Some people have mental health issues that drive them to self-harm if they are hungry and not allowed to eat.

Some people's bodies don't produce the "I'm full you can stop eating now" signal from the stomach.

Some people have hormone imbalance issues that cause their bodies to turn the vast majority of what they eat into fat and they get severe malnutrition-type illnesses if they "just eat less"

Some people have neurodiversity effects which mean they don't have sufficient cognitive executive function to maintain the discipline needed to lose weight.

Some people grew up in abusive dysfunctional families and learned unhealthy patterns of using food as a substitute for love and validation long before they develop the maturity needed to transcend that, and their mental journey to recover from that abuse has to take priority over their physical health which might take many years.

Yes there are probably some fat people who don't have these or similar issues but OP cannot know that for one random stranger on public transport so shouldn't assume anything. It is however perfectly reasonable to insist on being given an adequate seat on a plane and it's the airline who is responsible for that.

on a flight, OP should have got up and stood in the aisle as soon as the other passenger sat down, long before takeoff, and politely and calmly asserted the impossibility of tolerating a flight with only 75% of a seat. Perhaps they would have been able to swap in a child (fat person in window seat, child with vv small body width in aisle seat, with their mum/dad the other side of the aisle so still next to child) or perhaps they would have bumped OP or the other passenger to the next flight. Even swapping from window seat to aisle seat would have been less uncomfortable - half a buttock overhanging into the aisle isn't great but beats being squished against the wall - but OP didn't give them a chance to sort it. Just sitting there resentfully was stupid. Airlines should have a standard seat at the boarding gate for checking purposes and an official policy for what should happen if you are larger than that, just like they do with the frames to show acceptable baggage sizes and official policies for what will happen if you turn up with a bag of larger dimensions.

No.

I'm not the only poster on this thread who has said that this thread is disgusting and that the fat hating on this thread is shocking.

You really need to grow up

I need to grow up for wanting to sit on my own, paid for seat? Right love.

Free to point out one rude or personal insult I’ve stated against anyone who is larger, because you will not find them.

I dont think having a standard seat at boarding, that's just embarrassing and shaming and by then it's too late. When you book your flight, just look up the aircraft, it tells you the seat width and leg length for each class, obviously if the seat you want has a 25inch seat width and your seat is 40inch you're not going to fit. If you're very tall or have trouble stretching your leg then you look at suitable front aisle seats up upgrades, it's the same thing,

You said you want overweight people to pay double what you pay. It doesnt matter if they are disabled or ill. You said you don't care why they are fat.

Judging by what you are saying. Why don't we squeeze two anorexic people into one seat on an airline. They can fit. Why should they have a seat to themselves? When the airline could make more money by putting them into one seat and selling the other seat.

That is how heartless you sound

You said you don't care why people are the size they are?

Estimates vary but generally it's said that the average profit per charter flight passenger is $10! There is NO wriggle room to reduce seats but keep the price the same!

Well if they made bigger seats - they would meet a demand and cater to a market of people. My friend won't fly at all because he is a big man and the seats on planes are way too uncomfortable for him

But would he pay double for a wider seat?

Has he looked at different seat sizes?

No he can't afford it. Have you seen flight prices. Asking people to pay double is a stretch.

I was replying to the poster who said that airplanes would lose customers if they made seats bigger.

But I've often been on airplanes and the seats are often not full.

I was saying if they added large seats at the same price they would reach a new Market and have more customers. Larger people would book the larger seats. Large people cannot fly comfortably at the moment.

Well I didn’t actually, I stated if they use more space they should pay for it.
Not sure how you think squeezing to anorexic people into one space even falls into the argument, they don’t deserve less space because they have paid for a full ticket.
A child also pays for a full ticket and therefore is entitled to use their seat.

How on earth is that a disgusting comment? I don’t care because it’s non of my business, I don’t care whether a stranger weighed 50lbs or 500lbs because it’s nothing to do with me.

Tbh, I like the idea of loosing weight. As though all you have to do is release a few notches of your belt and the fat can just escape into the wild without me.

If you don't care about them, why should the care about you?

Again read what is explicitly written, I don’t care why they are overweight because it isn’t my business.
I have also never said they should care about me, but that doesn’t change the fact that they aren’t entitled to a portion of my seat.

Again. Thats the airlines fault. Not theirs.

People saying that the person should buy two seats together. I disagree with that. But anyway that's not always an option.

The last flight that I was on, the woman beside me told me that she had tried to sit next to her husband, but the airplane didn't have any two seats together when they booked.

Not everyone can afford weight loss jabs, they start at £175 for 4x2.5ml of Mounjaro, increase the dose and the price increases. I have a high BMI and sleep apnea but I needed to be diabetic and have a heart problem as well my current conditions to be eligible for them free so I paid and was under the care of a pharmacist

I tried them, they made me feel unwell but I was determined to continue with them and lose the weight, I'd bought the 2nd pen

I ended up in A&E and subsequently hospitalised as I had pancreatitis. Tests are still underway to identify the cause of the pancreatitis. Recent ultrasound has shown my gallbladder is not the cause. The consultants I saw feel the pancreatitis was caused by the Mounjaro.

Whilst in A&E I mentioned the Mounjaro as I had been warned about pancreatitis and all the staff I dealt with (phlebotomist, radiographer, consultant) said they had seen a rise with people suffering side effects from Mounjaro. Yes it works for many people, you can see the threads on MN but you can also see that it doesn't work for a lot of people. I've done some reading and one article even said that some peoples DNA means they won't fare well with some weight loss jab - I'm reserving judgement on that article until I've seen the consultant when all tests have been concluded

It's not an easy fix

I've never been as sick in my life as when I took mounjaro.

It's not for everyone. I hope you are okay now.

I’m not sure how that’s relevant, when I’m travelling solo with my youngest if there are no seats together then I can’t book that flight.
I don’t act like I’m being persecuted.