Feeling uncomfortable after sharing a seat with a very obese passenger

[Bayleaftree63]

On public transport earlier. A very large woman sits nexts to me. She couldn’t get the seat belt
round her. Her body spilt over into my seat, leaving me squashed with what little space there was left.

On the journey I couldn’t help be annoyed at the lack of space I was left with and questioning how do people let themselves get to that size. Talking morbidly obese, not just larger - whatever the medical
term.

This isn’t about shaming, more I’m in disbelief people being that big are happy? Why wouldn’t you want to loose some weight for a healthier lifestyle.

You're spectacularly missing the point.

You think that telling people to "eat less" Is all they need to lose weight.

People are NOT ABLE to eat less. They are psychologically addicted to food. It often happens as a result of trauma

I wake up, I start thinking of how I was raped as a child,

and I'm in so much mental pain, I reach for sweets and chocolate to comfort me. I cannot seem to break out of the cycle.

But not being able to do it properly is the problem

Being able to follow a diet is complex for many people. Its like saying to someone with adhd, you just need to concentrate

Yes many people try to lose weight. Then they go through a stressful time, work, children, etc and they reach for food to comfort them.

So you weren’t in calorie deficit at all? If you read the published science, EBM vs CIM is pretty vehemently contested. The truth is the correct model is probably somewhere between the two (to my mind)

It's also much much harder to LOOSE weight than it is to maintain weight.

Thin people can eat quite a lot and maintain the weight that they are at.

Overweight people need to get into a calorie deficit to lose any weight. So this means that they need to often eat less than thin people, and do more exercise at a time when their physical health is not really great. It's really hard work

I wish I was thin. Ive been trying for a long time.

The worst thing I find is my breasts- they are so heavy to carry around when I am overweight

People can be any size they wish.it becomes an issue when it affects others and public transport is one of those times. The person affected doesn’t just have to take it on the chin. They are allowed to be annoyed.

So what is the overweight person supposed to do?

It's the transport companies fault. There is no option on most buses, trains on planes to purchase larger seats.

My overweight brother doesn't fly at all as he knows he won't be able to fit into an aeroplane seat.

Fine if you are happy with your weight. Not so fine when it impacts on other people.

I think, in truth, some people just like to be annoyed.

There’s a lot of perpetually enraged people about at the moment.

Tell me exactly, what can an overweight person do on a flight?

There is no option most of the time, to purchase a larger seat.

On my last flight i was able to purchase a flight with extra leg room for tall people. There was no option to purchase an extra wide seat though

You're not wrong, a small proportion of obese people can't help it, a significant number could if they prioritised it.
I'd see no problem with requiring people above a certain size to pay for two tickets.

There isn’t extra wide seating, generally.

The idea is that if you need to, you get two, because you are using the relevant space.

Even as a fairly big woman, I don’t disagree with that, if I’m taking up space that otherwise would be paid for, it’s reasonable to expect to pay for it.

Airlines can't do that as it would be fat shaming people.

What airlines should do is realise that not one size of seat fits everyone.

Theys hould have a selection of larger seats that people can choose to buy

To answer your question, what makes you think she is happy? Most people who are obese would prefer not to be and most will have tried anything and everything to improve their weight. However obesity is complex. It isn't just a case of deciding not to overeat and if you have always been able to control your eating or maintain a healthy weight then you probably won't get it. I understand you are annoyed at being squashed up, that's entirely valid but to question how someone got fat or can be happy fat is a bit disingenuous (and goady).

Two seats wouldn't work for safety reasons. I tried to sit on two seats on a plane and I was slipping off.

They need to have specially designed larger seats. the seats that they have at the moment are tiny

Eating is often a comfort for me, and certainly something I find brings me pleasure especially after a lot of trauma following a head injury and post concussion syndrome then medication induced movement disorder. I've always loved my food but now I am perimenopausal, I have to be more mindful of how it affects my whole body (teeth, gums, waistline, cholesterol etc - bloody menopause lol 😆).

I'm exercising more now but I need to lose at least a stone. If I carried on eating what I used to, I would get big. Being injured and not in control of my body meant eating feels like a way I can control my body, up to a point.

I'm avoiding sugar now more too, as it makes my teeth hurt quite a lot when it never used to. And I know my mum doesn't understand this, as she made a comment just this weekend about how i avoided ice cream for pudding, saying how it wont poison me (!) People have their complex reasons around eating (or not!) and often, others don't always understand how or why it will affect them.

It wouldn't be fat shaming them. Anyone could purchase an extra seat if they fancied the extra space or just wanted to make sure nobody was next to them. But if it was a plus size person who needed it, they could be refunded for the extra seat if the plane isn't full.

Airlines absolutely can do this and many already do. There's nothing shaming about it.

A selection of larger seats is a possibility but assuming you don't mean existing premium economy options, it would involve reconfiguring the plane, make pricing even more complicated than it already is and you couldn't guarantee that only plus size people would decide that they fancy the extra space.

I can't be bothered reading the whole thread but has anybody come up with the "when your arse is the size of a small countreeeee" line yet?

I was replying to the poster who said that it should be mandatory for fat people to have to pay for two seats.

It's fat shaming because the fat person has to pay more than the thin person.

I definitely wouldn't be able to afford to pay for two seats on aeroplanes.

You can buy an extra seat on the train or aircraft, look at the seat size options

But it's not "because you're fat", it's "because we sell these in units and you require two".

Unless that test case from years ago did find that passengers buy transit, not seats. I don't know how that went. At any rate, it's isn't about shaming, it's about purchasing the necessary resources.

Edited to answer your edits: arguably, if you can't afford the service you require, you'll have to go without. Plenty of thin people can't afford even one ticket.

You absolutely are shaming, and you sound absolutely vile.

I’d rather sit next to an obese person any day of the week than next to someone so judgmental and nasty as you.

She can lose weight if she decides to, it’s a lot harder to change your spiteful attitude, focus on that instead.

No but I'm so glad you did: always has me in stitches.🙄

I guess you're the same that you are looking out for that old favourite.