Best Amazon Prime Day deals: Mumsnet favourites

Best Amazon Prime Day deals:
Mumsnet favourites

Shop now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Some perspective please

28 replies

Clip123 · 20/06/2026 22:50

I’m really quite shocked and upset by how my husband has acted today and as the title suggests… need some perspective and if I’m overreacting?
Husband isn’t very well so I took my son out this morning whilst daughter was in a class so he could have some down time at home. I then also took the kids to a party 3:30pm and was meant to be 6:30pm finish but kids were playing nicely and grown ups chatting… I text to say I would probably leave at 7:30pm and then put my phone down and chatting… then again looked at my phone and it was 8:15pm so I text him to say we were leaving. (Kids had been fed, had nothing to get home for).
As I came through the door he didn’t come to see the kids and I said hello and he said hi back, I could tell in his tone he was annoyed so I asked what was wrong and he said he didn’t expect me back so late and we’d left him on his own ‘all day’; despite him being ill and resting, and probably watching football all afternoon. He also said I should have text and I said I did, and I did apologise for not texting sooner but again, didn’t see what difference it made to him. He’s proceeded to then not talk to me and ignore me if I come in the room.
I made us both dinner as wanted dinner myself and it made enough for two, he helped himself without thanking me so I sat out the dining room while he went in the living room. He then went up to bed without saying anything and I said are we just leaving it like that and letting it continue to tomorrow? (Just seems sooo petty to me!) He said I shouldn’t have sat by myself and I’ve continued the argument and basically put everything on me.
I’m absolutely baffled by the whole thing !!

OP posts:
AskAggie · 20/06/2026 22:59

Are you really baffled?

Worriednanof1 · 20/06/2026 23:01

AskAggie · 20/06/2026 22:59

Are you really baffled?

Really?

Clip123 · 20/06/2026 23:05

AskAggie · 20/06/2026 22:59

Are you really baffled?

Well yes, don’t really understand what his problem is

OP posts:
Worriednanof1 · 20/06/2026 23:14

Clip123 · 20/06/2026 23:05

Well yes, don’t really understand what his problem is

Agreed!

whippersnapper55 · 20/06/2026 23:33

I suspect he was hoping that you'd be around in the day to make a fuss of him & look after him. Obviously he doesn't want to say that because he knows that he'll look like a giant man-baby!

somanychristmaslights · 20/06/2026 23:48

Aww the poor man was at home feeling ill and you left him at home all day to fend for himself! He must have been at deaths door when you walked in, not knowing how he was going to survive 🤣.

Niftywigglesheep · 20/06/2026 23:50

he sounds like a cunt

TinaBeliever · 20/06/2026 23:53

Niftywigglesheep · 20/06/2026 23:50

he sounds like a cunt

This, why marry such a cunt?

Fliper72 · 20/06/2026 23:54

What's actually wrong with him health wise? I feel like that is relevant information here

BIWI · 20/06/2026 23:56

His problem? He's an entitled twat. Don't let him make you feel guilty about this.

Clip123 · 20/06/2026 23:57

Fliper72 · 20/06/2026 23:54

What's actually wrong with him health wise? I feel like that is relevant information here

A chesty cold… nothing serious but thought he would appreciate the rest to feel better

OP posts:
In2mindsss · 20/06/2026 23:58

If he wasnt well then maybe he was expecting you to get him some dinner? Not in a "little wifey" way but just in a looking after your sick partner kind of way?
If i were ill and my dp said he would be back at 6.30 I would think "urgh i feel too sick to get up and make food, hopefully he will when he gets back". But then it was 8.30pm when you got back and maybe if he had known that he would have crawled to the kitchen earlier to get some toast or somethjng

Sweetbeansandmochi · 20/06/2026 23:59

How dare you have fun outside the house. Nevermind you looking after the children all day. You were chatting, probably sitting in a garden, when it’s a lovely evening.

While he wa sitting in the cold, dark, dank house. All alone. So sick, he couldn’t muster the strength of to lift his throbbing head. So hungry …even a piece of dry bread would have done. But you weren’t there.

If only he had an unpaid nurse maid at exactly the right times. In between his snoozing and watching the football, you were meant to be taking care of him. And you weren’t so now he is giving you the passive agressive treatment.

What is unreasonable about any of that?

Silverbirchleaf · 21/06/2026 00:00

Sounds like a miscommunication. You thought you were doing a nice thing by letting him rest and recuperate in peace, but he felt you were abandoning him, and not supporting him when ill (and even worse, having a nice time).

JLou08 · 21/06/2026 00:08

It doesn't sound like anything worth fussing over. He is ill, he is grumpy about being left at home alone when he felt rubbish. End of story. Go to bed, tomorrow's a new day and you can move on from it.

Clip123 · 21/06/2026 00:10

JLou08 · 21/06/2026 00:08

It doesn't sound like anything worth fussing over. He is ill, he is grumpy about being left at home alone when he felt rubbish. End of story. Go to bed, tomorrow's a new day and you can move on from it.

I do agree but I do think it’s beyond rude to not talk to me, and he does like to drag things out… we wont wake up in the morning and it’ll all be fine, he will still be annoyed

OP posts:
MyBlueCritic · 21/06/2026 00:16

Niftywigglesheep · 20/06/2026 23:50

he sounds like a cunt

Single ☝️ lol

HeddaGarbled · 21/06/2026 00:16

God, I can’t abide a sulker.

Here’s my advice: take absolutely no notice - let him get on with it whilst you go about your life, preferably in a different room or outside the house altogether.

Do not, and I repeat, do not, ask him what the matter is nor try to make conversation as if he wasn’t sulking. It’s his job to fix this now.

TON618 · 21/06/2026 09:28

You can't win whatever you do. I'm afraid he's being pathetic. Glad you all had a good day, at least for most of it.

thepariscrimefiles · 21/06/2026 09:38

In2mindsss · 20/06/2026 23:58

If he wasnt well then maybe he was expecting you to get him some dinner? Not in a "little wifey" way but just in a looking after your sick partner kind of way?
If i were ill and my dp said he would be back at 6.30 I would think "urgh i feel too sick to get up and make food, hopefully he will when he gets back". But then it was 8.30pm when you got back and maybe if he had known that he would have crawled to the kitchen earlier to get some toast or somethjng

He's got a chesty cold! He would be perfectly capable of walking (not crawling) to the kitchen to get himself something to eat.

Userengage · 21/06/2026 10:00

He should have been glad for the peace and quiet with his chesty cold. He didn’t need looking after, the big baby.

aWeeCornishPastie · 21/06/2026 10:03

What a prick. Sorry OP you did absolutely nothing wrong. Do not pander to his pathetic behaviour and ask him what’s wrong just go about your day and leave the baby man child to it

MrAlyakhin · 21/06/2026 10:14

I think this is a how you deal with illness thing. If I'm ill please leave me alone. I just want to lie in bed and get on with getting better. I hate being tended. DH is the opposite. He wants me to check in on him, give him a cuddle, get him snacks etc. Your DH is clearly in the latter camp. I actually hate this because it makes their illness an issue for everyone. I especially hate it if it's a minor illness that doesn't actually stop the person doing anything for themselves.

I think your bigger problem is the sulking. It's awful and he'll pass it onto the kids. Personally if it happens a lot I would be looking at having a chat. Sulking over time can properly chip away at the love and affection you feel for someone.

Mystifyingly · 21/06/2026 10:33

What a pillock.

grumpygrape · 21/06/2026 10:45

My perspective is that he is sulking that his ICU nurse went AWOL and stayed out a bit later than expected and he might have DIED!
Instead of fawning over him and apologising she carried on as if it was no big deal.
He still wants attention and an apology and will continue to sulk until he gets them.

Swipe left for the next trending thread