AIBU to feel angry about people parking too close to my car?

[Helene225]

Please be kind I think I’m ND but not diagnosed. I feel crazy writing this so using this anonymous forum to express my anger at people parking really close to my new car!

I’ve spent a lot of money on my new car that I’ve had for 3 weeks, today for example I feel so much anger - drove into work really early only a few cars in parking lot. I was sat in my car getting my stuff together when a colleague I don’t know at all but obviously works there parked right next to me, bear in mind car park was literally empty! She continues to open her door which is now touching my car! I got out quickly and asked if she’s okay and asked her to hang on whilst I move over to make room for her to get out. She says, “no it’s okay I’ll manage!”, I feel so angry like WTF she could have parked a little more to the left so her door could be opened easily without banging into my car. Issue with work car park is there are no parking lines indicating where to park so it’s just left to everyone’s common sense on how much room to leave. Not first time this has happened by the way.

I just don’t get how people are so inconsiderate. Even with my old car I would open the door so carefully and never park so close that my door would be touching a car! I’m just really panicked I will get a scratch on my car from them. I feel paranoid but I keep seeing a dent where she opened her door into my car but DH can’t see anything,

YABU.

If it makes you this angry, then owning a new car probably isn't for you. Cars will get chips and scratches. Clearly it is annoying and frustrating, but it is going to happen (usually when you aren't there). You'd probably be better with an older car where it will be less noticeable to you when it happens.

Now, I am obviously not saying she shouldn't have been more careful - of course she should. In a narrow space I will always put my hand round the car door if there is any chance of it bumping the next car. She should obviously have done that. However, if there aren't lines / marked bays, then the "right" thing to do is to park next to the first car in, so everyone lines up sensibly and the space can be maximised. If everyone parks randomly, then people who arrive later will find lots of spaces just not quite big enough to get a car in.

I mean this kindly but I think you may need to get some help. Your perspective is very skewed. Please get some help

You sound as paranoid as you feel. YABU

You’re panicked about getting a scratch on your car?

YANBU.

The fact the car park was empty underlines how unreasonable it was for the colleague to not leave ample space, so she could open her car’s door without it contacting yours. That’s either incompetence or a lack of respect for others’ property on her part (or both). The colleague is a dingbat in more ways than one it seems if she’s potentially causing dings on other cars.

You have to be a complete git to not know when you’ve parked too close to another vehicle, and that opening your door will mean it comes into contact with the other vehicle. It wouldn’t have been difficult for her to park properly.
People like this deserve everything coming back at them twofold, which may sound harsh but it might result in them learning the error of their ways.

Incidentally I’ve never owned a new car. I don’t treat mine with kid gloves. However, I’d feel awful if I’d dinged someone else’s.

Seriously, what would be so terrible about getting a scratch on your car? It's just a means of getting from one place to another!

This is your issue not theirs, if they are illegally parked report them to whoever otherwise it is on you

OP, I get it - I'm precious about my cars too, keep them detailed and polished, and look after them like an expensive asset, not just a box that gets me from A to B. The way I manage it in parking lots is to park in inconvenient places, like at the far end of the parking lot up against the fence. It doesn't stop the weird phenomenon where people still choose to park next to you, even when there's free spots around, but it does reduce the chance of door dings and scratches a bit.

"Issue with work car park is there are no parking lines indicating where to park so it’s just left to everyone’s common sense on how much room to leave."
To me, this explains why your colleague parked next to you. To fit the maximum number of cars in, they need to line up to each other - if everyone parked randomly there'd be gaps left that wouldn't be big enough for a car, and then maybe not everyone would get parked. I have done what your colleague chose to do - lined my car up using the cars already there as my guide. It's a bit like when you visit a stately home or a country fair where the parking is essentially a field - the attendants direct each car coming in to park next to the last car who entered, making best use of the space available.

"I feel paranoid but I keep seeing a dent where she opened her door into my car but DH can’t see anything"
If he can't see it, maybe it's because there is no dent? Your anger at her parking manifests as belief she caused damage.

If you want to minimise the chances of your car being dinged in the works car park, I'd suggest you park in the furthest point from the door into the building. Most people want to minimise their walk in a carpark - by parking furthest from the door the space around you will be filled last, maybe not at all.

Park further away.

Last time I bought a car, I had asked for the side strips attached as part of the deal. The ones that are a long ridge all along the sides of the car. When people open doors nearby, it strikes those rather than the actual car, so I'd ask for those to be added OP. My pet hate is people who park so close to the driver's door but leave more room on their passenger side. If they have a passenger, they can wait to get in whilst the driver gets out of the space into the open area. Move over dick and give all the room to the driver.

Perhaps you are going to have to calm down a bit

I’m paranoid about this. I will make sure everyone has enough room on both sides.
i had my car keyed really badly in a car park where there isn’t much space because my passenger side must have been considered too close to their car - I can only assume it’s because they were over weight as I’m very aware of how much room I leave everyone.

The "Weird phenomenon" you speak of btw is one I agree with, but which has a clear explanation -

British drivers, especially women (and I'm a British woman) are just appalling at using their mirrors properly.

I see it all the time at work, at supermarkets etc. People who see one car parked in an empty car park, and then use that car as a "reference point" to drive straight into a space.

It's so frustrating because of course if a person could drive properly, they could just go to an empty space, reverse , and use your mirrors to line up the lines in your reverse view.

Instead, people would rather use an existingly parked car as a lazy reference, which tends to leads to lots of shuffling around to create relative distance.

I hate lazy drivers here, I don't think YABU at all @Helene225 and support you. You should be allowed to have nice things, people should just learn to drive.

Talk about first world problems...

Issue with work car park is there are no parking lines indicating where to park so it’s just left to everyone’s common sense on how much room to leave. Not first time this has happened by the way.

Well duh this is why she parked next to you then. When there are no lines people park by the existing cars to ensure the space is filled efficiently.

British drivers, especially women (and I'm a British woman) are just appalling at using their mirrors properly.

Speak for yourself! I am perfectly able to use my mirrors properly. (My husband can as well, both of us are British.) I'll move my wing mirrors to get a better view of the lines when parking if needed too.

Also how big is your car? I often find the people who are precious like this are also the ones driving huge SUVs that are really too large for UK spaces and don't leave room for surrounding cars to open their doors.

British women don't use mirrors properly? I'm curious. Which nationality of women do use mirrors properly? Are British men taken into a secret side room for extra mirror training? Is it the boobs? Do they get in the way of mirror adjusting? Are men using their genitalia somehow to get better mirror positioning?

Park further away from the entrance as if you parked up front, people will do the same. But if you’re this paranoid, then buying a new car probably isn’t for you.

What is the point in having a nice car if you are going to be paranoid once point of imagining dents when someone parks near you in a car park?

It’s yours, if it gets a scratch or dent it won’t make the slightest difference to driving it, that is can carry you safely from A-to-B.

It’s a car, you will be out in all weather, hitting potholes, small stones bouncing up, environment, weather, other moving hulks of metal around it. It’s not a delicate glass vase basically.

It’s just a car.

Maybe try a CBT exercise to train your mind to not spiral about it.

@Watercooler@JacquesHarlow
Women finding it harder to park is actually a thing but it’s because cars are built around men’s bodies. Women tend to be shorter than men and sit lower in the car. This means it’s much harder for women to see the white lines in the mirrors. Most women don’t realise how much less vision they have around the car than men and so don’t raise the seat but just drive lower down. This is why women often drive/ park leaning forward over the steering wheel while men sit back. They sit back because the world is designed for them and women have to make all the adjustments to get a level playing field or in this case similar vision.

Yes cars are built around men's bodies I agree. But that doesn't mean that women are less likely to use their mirrors. We have spent a lifetime having to work around male centered designs and we do it very well!

parking lot? Are you in the US? Cars do seem to be ridiculously big there so can imagine prangs happen more often. Seems odd she’d park right next to you in the car park was empty. Perhaps park further away from the entrance so people are less likely to park near you.

Ummm well duh she could have left a bit more space for her car door to open without bashing into mine! She was struggling getting out! Wouldn’t it make more sense in an EMPTY car park to leave a tiny bit more space so she can actually get out?