Am I being over cautious or sensible? 15yr olds and spa

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Long story short is that DD has been invited to stay over in a hotel with her friend while friend's mum is involved with an event at the hotel. DD's friend's mum says the girls can use the spa facilities etc and also chill out in the room. I said yes to this and now I'm getting anxious about it as they are 2 months shy of turning 16, just finished GCSEs, and I don't think they will be allowed in the spa with no adult supervision and also I just don't like the idea. i wish I said no from the beginning and now regretting it. AIBU? Thanks

Well I'd get friend's mum to check if they'd be allowed in the spa without her, but surely she'll be supervising otherwise? It wouldn't worry me but just so they're not disappointed if not allowed in the spa.

Check if the hotels website mentions allowing unaccompanied children in the spa.

Ah I wouldn't worry - if they don't let them in they can just chill out in their room? Sure they'll be fine and have a lovely time. Kind of her to invite her!

I'd have been half a bottle of vodka down post GCSEs, a spa sounds very civilised - what exactly is the issue?

what is it you're specifically worried about? them getting in trouble if they're not 'allowed' there, or just the entire thing?

I can't see the problem here.

What is it your actually worried about?

What are you worried about?
If they won’t be allowed in the spa they can chill in the room, if they are allowed in the spa there will be staff there if there is a problem

I think the biggest risk is that the hotel doesn't let them use it. Otherwise I don't think much is likely to happen, what is it you're worried about?

Is there a pool? They might be allowed in there, although perhaps not sauna, hot tub, etc.
Can you google the hotel and check?

Of course it’s fine don’t be ridiculous. It’s a spa not a club.

It sounds lovely, if they can’t use the spa, they can hang out in their room, eat crap and watch tv surely!

YANBU for thinking they might not be allowed in the spa without an adult, if at all, but YABU to be 'anxious' about it at that age.

What is it you're worried about? NT 15/16 YOs should be quite independent, able to go places with friends eg shopping, cinema, swimming etc and I don't see how this is any different.

I assume the mum will be busy organising the event in the hotel and won't be with them in the spa? 15 would be old enough in my opinion to use a pool/steam room/sauna unsupervised.

I’d have loved this myself at 15!
even if they can’t go in the spa they can hang out and have food and stuff I’m sure your daughter will have a great time, I wouldn’t worry at all - what a lovely invitation.

I am sure she will love it.
I am not sure what is worrying you but don't stop her going.

The mother wants your daughter to provide company for her daughter.
How big is this hotel and who will be there?
I’d remind the girls to stick together and not to separate eg to go back to the room for a forgotten item. Plus don’t open the room door from the outside if anyone else, male or female, is in the vicinity.

The mother wants your daughter to provide company for her daughter.

This is exactly it. That was how it was framed.

The mother has shown poor judgement in the past regarding parenting, so I don't have full confidence in her, which is what if making me anxious. But I don't want to disappoint DD now, so will just check what hotel it is and see what the rules are regarding spas etc

Sounds fine to me! I was off partying in clubs and pubs all summer when I finished my GCSEs. I had an amazing time!

The things that you’re worried about can happen in any place your daughter goes to.

What’s wrong with that? The friend can provide company for your DD and the opportunity / experience of staying in a hotel and using a spa - lucky girls.

What are you worried about that could happen in a sauna/jacuzzi/steam-room/pool to an almost 16 year old?

Don't most parents take friends awaf for company for their own.teenagers? I know i did when mine were teens, if you don't want your Dd unsupervised in a hotel can her friend stay with you

It’s a spa, what do you think could possibly happen? She’ll drink too much cucumber water?

To second what others have said, I’m not sure what the issue is if your daughter is generally sensible?
I often went to the local swimming pool with friends from about 14yrs, isn’t just a more upmarket version of that?
by 16 I was drinking down the local park so I think a spa day/hotel evening sounds preferable to that….

Spas are often 16+

If you think the parents don't share your values it's ok to decline, but at that age if you would let them go out alone then this doesn't seem worse than that.

The alternative would be you arrange something you are more comfortable with (pay for nearby cinema tickets?) and take a bit of control back.