AIBU to find career advice from privileged speakers tone deaf?

[Bake]

We had a speaker at a work network event talking about her highly successful career and giving women advice about how she made it to where she is.

She talked about a difficult time in her life, she had small children, one who didn't sleep well, she was grieving, stressed, experiencing peri-menopause symptoms etc. These circumstances are so close to my current experience that it really piqued my interest, I couldn't wait to hear how she made it through this tough time and how I could use her experience to help me through.

I honestly didn't know whether to laugh or cry when she said how she made it through. I'm glad I had joined in Teams rather than being in the room. She quit her job and took 7 months off work. 😳

I understand she was there to talk about her experience, and she was fortunate to be in a position to do this, but I just don't see how it's helping the majority of the audience. After 7 months, she was asked to come back by her old boss, only agreed if it was on her terms, set up a consultation business and returned to the same job but on a day rate she set. It's not the first time we've had a speaker like this. Another man, who has given the same talk to two different teams in the business, came to teach us about burnout. He'd experienced it and had to take a year off work to recover.

I understand that there is a range of salaries in our organisation. But am I being unreasonable to think this is tone deaf to what most people can do? I would be in financial hardship if I took even a week off unpaid.

I find most people's advice on how to be rich and successful essentially boils down to "come from a wealthy family".

Yes it sucks. When I had my third miscarriage someone helpfully suggested to me I was too stressed and should take some time off work to help me get pregnant.

Clueless and unhelpful. You just have to inwardly roll your eyes at these people. They have no idea.

Does your company have contractual sick pay?

It'd be a bit ironic if the speakers invited by your company are encouraging you to take time off on company sick pay...

To be honest, I actually found the worst career advice came from my careers advisors at 6 form college who obviously didn't really know how careers and the job market work. I don't think they were that privileged.

YANBU. We had a talk from a senior partner at work telling us that the way to get a good work life balance was to just inform colleagues that you simply didn’t do internal meetings before 10am or after 3pm. This was a talk for everyone - new grads, busy managers etc, not just partners who have the autonomy to request this.

I went to a talk about education in healthcare. The first 3 men had got to be lecturers by being in the right place at the right time. Never took time off etc.

the next 3 females all had PHDs and had juggled raising a family whilst being in clinical practice.

I thought it was a joke. One woman who was neurodivergent and had immigrated to the UK had worked SO MUCH HARDER for the same position that a man had wandered into 10 years previously.

I've worked there a long time and think I could get 6 months paid sick leave. But I also know that any extended LOA tends to put a target on your back. I can't afford not to work. Surely very few people can choose not to work??

You are definitely not being unreasonable. What a pointless talk. I find this often with the many male podcasters dishing out health/ wealth and career advice. All of which is only applicable if you are just like them; male, able bodied and rich.

@PleatherandlaceThese people definitely aren’t all male. What they are is privileged and lucky. They either don’t really need to work to pay the bills or they get lucky with who they know. Most people working for most companies cannot just walk out if they need the money. You can set up a business of course but you need skills people want and will pay for. We simply aren’t all like this.

Yes, Elon Musk springs to mind. “First, get your millionaire dad to give you one of his emerald mines”.

I was thinking about this today, the only reason anyone is in their well paid job is pure luck, the job opening was available at the right time and the hiring manager chose them over someone else, they could easily still be at the bottom if they hadn’t charmed the right person or joined the right company at the right time.

Senior male manager taking part in a talk about progression to young people. When asked about juggling family life, man replies “my wife left her job to look after the kids” 🤣🤣🤣🤣

The only career advice worth anything is from a hard working successful person in the field that you want to go into. Everything else is just a chat imo 😂

😂😂😂

I actually find the whole 'inspirational speakers' and talks by mentors culture of today's workplace completely pointless and self-indulgent. Either do proper training or stop wasting time and shareholder money getting your staff to spend hours listening to Petronella talking about how she became a girlboss.

Our MD loves doing mentor stuff, getting groups of business studies kids in to subject them to death by power point.

The secret of his success? Inherited a booming business from Daddy

He really believes his input is useful too bless him.

At work, i was on a call with about 30 people, and we had gathered to hear a woman tell her story about her success.
She’s worked her way up to the highest band and naturally we were keen to hear her story.

Well, it turns out that she’s done lots of schmoozing and that new roles (with high falutin job titles) had been created for her.
None of these wonderful opportunities were posted on Oracle, so they basically didn’t exist.

But, oh yeah, please tell us about the secret of your success. 🙄

Reminds me of a panel of women during the International Women's Day stuff my work put on, where several twenty-something women talked about how they got into their position.

Every. Single. One. Of. Them, had come through the Graduate programme, where if you successfully pass, you automatically get promoted into that grade.

The inability to see how it really doesn't help to be told "be young, live in London, get a relevant degree (preferably from LSE), and then join the programme. Twenty years ago"

It is really, really hard to progress into that grade (a grade above mine, so I know). Most are actively recruited from outside the business, or are already at that grade when they move into a new role.

So anyway, that was irritating.

Also, I find it borderline fraudulent when business owners and new companies talk a big game, only to discover they’re still not even turning a profit because they've had a really long funding runway even after a couple of years. It's just bullshit and hot air.

I'm only really inspired by people who started with nothing and took big risks and are turning real profits quickly

That is basically how I dealt with my difficult child, right down to coming back to work on my own terms. It is a ridiculous place of privilege both in the ability to step out of the workforce and to have the power to negotiate a return.

we have had similar speakers at work. We had one who came to speak out burnout. She gave advice about how to structure the day to be kind to our staff. When we explained our billing system and how her suggestions would hurt the staff, she thought the billing system was barbaric. It is. We all know it is. That is why we have burnout. But they had not even briefed this life coach they brought in on the most fundamental aspect of how our system runs. The whole thing was a waste of time.

A little off topic but I remember when Philip Hammond , the Tory ex chancellor was talking about retail shops closing down.
He said that women can basically set up a business and work from home..

Most women juggling childcare and work can’t just set up a business from thin air and make a good living out of it! Otherwise everyone would be doing it surely ?

Dd looking at university choices and we were fretting about employability etc. Mil piped up
with advice she had heard from an elderly random. Buy a large rental property in the Cotswolds - real money earner apparently 🙄. You don’t say.

I actually think this is useful. As getting jobs to created for her is how she got her career success!

To be fair to Philip Hammond that is good advice and I have done it!

I was at one from a guy who genuinely had risen from nothing. He had been raised in poverty, left school at 10 or 11, zero formal education and started at a stall selling cheap items. Gradually worked his way up to being a shop owner, a factory owner and a brand millionaire. It was an interesting story until he started ridiculing people who take sick leave. He never had a sick day in his life, he never had a cold or an injury or medical condition, he boasted about this. He also said he worked long hours and slept about 4 or 5 hours and that's how he got ahead. He ridiculed anyone who needed more. I thought he was an absolute idiot but sadly some of the managers thought he was inspiring. The managers were all healthy people, all either men with SAH partner or child free women. All thinking this man was their hero. It still gives me the rage, that was years ago.