Advice on benefits

messychaos · 2026-06-08T19:59:16+00:00

Briefly with BD 15 years, 4 kids recently I filed for divorce and ended our joint claim of benefits he works and I worked from being 16 up until the children’s needs ment I could no longer work. he’s saying this is fraud as we live together and go on holidays still…. here is the tricky part . We have 2 children with extreme medically complex needs so I can’t just leave as our home is fully adapted for them but it’s only his name on the mortgage so I’m kinda screwed with that but in the same breath we get no help or support it’s literally just us doing full time care so with the other 2 kids and sports/activities/appointments I don’t think we’d ever be able to live separately because we rely on each other so much to cover the slack if something is happening elsewhere with another child or we have to rush somewhere for an emergency theirs someone here at all times? But regardless of that we’ve agreed to make this situation work for everyone’s sake as it makes life so much more easier. I claimed single because we now are separated, I wanted to take control of my own finances instead of him getting every penny to his bank and me still asking for petrol money or money for nursery etc. so now I pay 50/50 for all household bills and I pay for everything the kids need like trips, toiletries, nursery and then fuel. Only fair. im just really worried cos since I did this he’s saying I’m going to be in the paper for fraud…. I asked HMRC Before I did it what was I best to do and they talked me though how to do it (I’m rubbish with benefits and all that Iv never actually done it myself) we sleep in separate rooms we have separate lives totally yes we do go on holiday, we went away at the beginning of the year with the kids but we stayed in separate hotels literally other side of the resort, we went on a trip the other month but we had 2 rooms booked so I stayed with my mum and 2 kids in 1 and he stayed with 2 kids in the other? We go for memories with the kids all together as we don’t know how long we have with the oldest 2 but physically I’d not be able to do it alone as it’s a lot of lifting and their the same size as me now plus it’s just hard work in general theirs so much to going away not as simple as get a bag and go. We actually get on okay now the stress has gone as a couple but I’m just worried because we do live together but we aren’t anymore ! I hate benefits I really bloody do but Iv got no choice and I feel I can’t win! any advice I’d appreciate, just over thinking right now

REDB99 · Yesterday 21:11

But you don’t live in a single adult household so you can’t claim you do. You have been fraudulent in your claim if you’re claiming to be in a single person household.
What are you claiming for? Is there any housing element? You mention a mortgage? Are you getting benefits to contribute to the mortgage? Are you claiming this is rent? Are you actually divorced?
You’ve left a lot of information out about what you’re claiming for and why has it been beneficial to apply as a single person (if it has).

Fascinate · Yesterday 21:14

Talk to Citizens Advice

MrsMoastyToasty · Yesterday 21:14

Your best bet would be to speak to someone at Citizens Advice or a benefits advice charity.

hahabahbag · Yesterday 21:19

If you are divorcing you can claim whilst in the same house

https://ashfordadvice.org/separated-couples-living-together-and-claiming-uc

but you must be able to demonstrate you are living separate lives eg separate meals.

there isn’t a fixed time limit but it’s meant to be “temporary” whilst divorce is processed and house sold or other arrangements made - if you’re still claiming separately post divorce for an extended period then it may attract attention of the authorities.

TheBigFatMermaid · Yesterday 21:22

It is absolutely fine and legal to do a single claim while living with your ex. I know people who do it and I did it myself under the Tax credits system for a while. My ex was leaving me. He moved in to the spare room, I put in a single claim, telling them he was still living there and it was accepted. He did move out after a while.

I have one friend who claimed singly, even though she shares a house with her ex, and has done for some time (years now) as she cannot get credit checked for a house on her own. This is under UC. It's fine. They are not a couple. Like you, they do things together with and for the children. They also have very separate lives. It's allowed, its legal and, despite what some people will try and tell you,its perfectly reasonable.

I suspect your ex may be resenting the lack of control over you now.

SpudGunToo · Yesterday 21:37

You need to get proper advice on this, meaning not only from here.

it’s possible to have a separate claim even living in the same house, but there are a few things that need to be the case yo show you are really living as two households.

Get it wrong and yes, fraud could be alleged.

Sharing food shopping, going on holiday together, sharing a room, and a fair few other things can be taken into consideration, you can’t simply declare that you are two households.

Passaggressfedup · Yesterday 21:44

I have one friend who claimed singly, even though she shares a house with her ex, and has done for some time (years now) as she cannot get credit checked for a house on her own
That's so not enough of a reason to continue to claim as a single person indefinitely.

She might have got away for some years because there has not been a review. She might find herself under serious questioning when they finally do.

SpudGunToo · Yesterday 21:49

TheBigFatMermaid · Yesterday 21:22

It is absolutely fine and legal to do a single claim while living with your ex. I know people who do it and I did it myself under the Tax credits system for a while. My ex was leaving me. He moved in to the spare room, I put in a single claim, telling them he was still living there and it was accepted. He did move out after a while.

I have one friend who claimed singly, even though she shares a house with her ex, and has done for some time (years now) as she cannot get credit checked for a house on her own. This is under UC. It's fine. They are not a couple. Like you, they do things together with and for the children. They also have very separate lives. It's allowed, its legal and, despite what some people will try and tell you,its perfectly reasonable.

I suspect your ex may be resenting the lack of control over you now.

It might be fine, if certain conditions are met, you cannot simply state that it is definitely OK.

The OP needs advice from someone qualified to give it, based on details of her arrangements that are not all included here.

Original poster

messychaos · Yesterday 23:06

Thanks all

So I have had proper advice.
when spoke to universal credit themselves they said it’s absolutely fine to do this and told me how I do it on my app thingy- I did say this.
he does get his own food shop an do his own shop, it’s seperate in the fridge to mine an the kids…. But yes he will ask me to grab something the odd occasion and he will send me the money for it to.
we do sleep seperate to in different rooms
I don’t get any housing or anything as it’s a mortgage and I don’t claim for it either
i pretty much just get the money for the kids
he can’t go on the claim as he isn’t my partner anymore and I ended the joint claim with him but they are aware he is in the house.
I am on a waiting list for housing but due to the adaptions needed and for 2 children the said it will be years as it’s so unique it’s not something that’s come across often and they don’t like to spend an do it for families if they can help it!

I claimed single purely to take control of my own finances as he was/is pretty controlling. I needed to be able to provide for myself and my kids when necessary without relying on him and to start saving for if/when we finally move. We will have nothing

OP posts:

Pickledonion1999 · Yesterday 23:17

messychaos · Yesterday 23:06

Thanks all

So I have had proper advice.
when spoke to universal credit themselves they said it’s absolutely fine to do this and told me how I do it on my app thingy- I did say this.
he does get his own food shop an do his own shop, it’s seperate in the fridge to mine an the kids…. But yes he will ask me to grab something the odd occasion and he will send me the money for it to.
we do sleep seperate to in different rooms
I don’t get any housing or anything as it’s a mortgage and I don’t claim for it either
i pretty much just get the money for the kids
he can’t go on the claim as he isn’t my partner anymore and I ended the joint claim with him but they are aware he is in the house.
I am on a waiting list for housing but due to the adaptions needed and for 2 children the said it will be years as it’s so unique it’s not something that’s come across often and they don’t like to spend an do it for families if they can help it!

I claimed single purely to take control of my own finances as he was/is pretty controlling. I needed to be able to provide for myself and my kids when necessary without relying on him and to start saving for if/when we finally move. We will have nothing

You are married so unlikely you will have nothing. It doesn't matter that his name is on the house deeds. You need to speak to a decent solicitor. He doesn't just get to keep the whole house whilst you wait years for social housing and the state supports you. A decent divorce settlement could really help you get settled elsewhere sooner than waiting years for social housing. Unfortunately you won't be a priority with the council whilst they see you as adequately housed.

RandomMess · Yesterday 23:22

When you divorce he should make a financial settlement with you - the equivalent of a share of the equity in the home and you need to value your pensions. This may give you savings that then affect your benefits.

You could of course remain as 50:50 owners of the house and pay the mortgage 50:50 until one of your and the DC move out.

MiddleLaneLife · Yesterday 23:50

messychaos · Yesterday 23:06

Thanks all

So I have had proper advice.
when spoke to universal credit themselves they said it’s absolutely fine to do this and told me how I do it on my app thingy- I did say this.
he does get his own food shop an do his own shop, it’s seperate in the fridge to mine an the kids…. But yes he will ask me to grab something the odd occasion and he will send me the money for it to.
we do sleep seperate to in different rooms
I don’t get any housing or anything as it’s a mortgage and I don’t claim for it either
i pretty much just get the money for the kids
he can’t go on the claim as he isn’t my partner anymore and I ended the joint claim with him but they are aware he is in the house.
I am on a waiting list for housing but due to the adaptions needed and for 2 children the said it will be years as it’s so unique it’s not something that’s come across often and they don’t like to spend an do it for families if they can help it!

I claimed single purely to take control of my own finances as he was/is pretty controlling. I needed to be able to provide for myself and my kids when necessary without relying on him and to start saving for if/when we finally move. We will have nothing

If UC said it’s fine, then it’s fine.

ThreadGuardDog · Today 00:31

REDB99 · Yesterday 21:11

But you don’t live in a single adult household so you can’t claim you do. You have been fraudulent in your claim if you’re claiming to be in a single person household.
What are you claiming for? Is there any housing element? You mention a mortgage? Are you getting benefits to contribute to the mortgage? Are you claiming this is rent? Are you actually divorced?
You’ve left a lot of information out about what you’re claiming for and why has it been beneficial to apply as a single person (if it has).

You can claim as two separate individuals even if you live in the same house as long as you can prove you are not living together as a couple and have separate financial arrangements. As long as OP has informed DWP of the full circumstances, she’ll be fine. And you can’t claim housing benefit for a mortgage. It has to be rent, and you need to produce a rental agreement, with landlord details to support your claim.

ThreadGuardDog · Today 00:37

messychaos · Yesterday 23:06

Thanks all

So I have had proper advice.
when spoke to universal credit themselves they said it’s absolutely fine to do this and told me how I do it on my app thingy- I did say this.
he does get his own food shop an do his own shop, it’s seperate in the fridge to mine an the kids…. But yes he will ask me to grab something the odd occasion and he will send me the money for it to.
we do sleep seperate to in different rooms
I don’t get any housing or anything as it’s a mortgage and I don’t claim for it either
i pretty much just get the money for the kids
he can’t go on the claim as he isn’t my partner anymore and I ended the joint claim with him but they are aware he is in the house.
I am on a waiting list for housing but due to the adaptions needed and for 2 children the said it will be years as it’s so unique it’s not something that’s come across often and they don’t like to spend an do it for families if they can help it!

I claimed single purely to take control of my own finances as he was/is pretty controlling. I needed to be able to provide for myself and my kids when necessary without relying on him and to start saving for if/when we finally move. We will have nothing

How long have you been married ? Who told you you would get nothing ? Was it your DH ? If you’re living in the property as your marital home it doesn’t matter that your name isn’t on the deeds, you will be entitled to a share of it as part of the divorce settlement. He can’t just walk away from the marriage and leave you and your children homeless. You need to take urgent legal advice and protect yourself.