Advice on benefits

[messychaos]

Briefly

with BD 15 years, 4 kids

recently I filed for divorce and ended our joint claim of benefits
he works and I worked from being 16 up until the children’s needs ment I could no longer work.

he’s saying this is fraud as we live together and go on holidays still….

here is the tricky part .
We have 2 children with extreme medically complex needs so I can’t just leave as our home is fully adapted for them but it’s only his name on the mortgage so I’m kinda screwed with that but in the same breath we get no help or support it’s literally just us doing full time care so with the other 2 kids and sports/activities/appointments I don’t think we’d ever be able to live separately because we rely on each other so much to cover the slack if something is happening elsewhere with another child or we have to rush somewhere for an emergency theirs someone here at all times? But regardless of that we’ve agreed to make this situation work for everyone’s sake as it makes life so much more easier.

I claimed single because we now are separated, I wanted to take control of my own finances instead of him getting every penny to his bank and me still asking for petrol money or money for nursery etc.
so now I pay 50/50 for all household bills and I pay for everything the kids need like trips, toiletries, nursery and then fuel. Only fair.

im just really worried cos since I did this he’s saying I’m going to be in the paper for fraud…. I asked HMRC Before I did it what was I best to do and they talked me though how to do it (I’m rubbish with benefits and all that Iv never actually done it myself)

we sleep in separate rooms
we have separate lives totally
yes we do go on holiday, we went away at the beginning of the year with the kids but we stayed in separate hotels literally other side of the resort, we went on a trip the other month but we had 2 rooms booked so I stayed with my mum and 2 kids in 1 and he stayed with 2 kids in the other?
We go for memories with the kids all together as we don’t know how long we have with the oldest 2 but physically I’d not be able to do it alone as it’s a lot of lifting and their the same size as me now plus it’s just hard work in general theirs so much to going away not as simple as get a bag and go.
We actually get on okay now the stress has gone as a couple but I’m just worried because we do live together but we aren’t anymore ! I hate benefits I really bloody do but Iv got no choice and I feel I can’t win!

any advice I’d appreciate, just over thinking right now

Go back to HMRC. Explain to them again exactly what you've said here. If they say you are entitled to claim as a single person, ask for it in writing. If they refuse, ask for the call recording.
Provided you can prove that you made your claim having fully disclosed your circumstances then you will not be committing fraud.

It is not HMRC. DWP administer UC.

Yes, you're quite right. I put HMRC carelessly as OP had said that.

@messychaos

if you want correct answer pop over to Reddit where you have actual dwp / UC workers
look at dwp / benefits UC subs

my advice is not to post anything on social media like Facebook , insta tick tock like photos of you making memories holiday pics of you all togethe

keep everything as separate as you possibly can
you might be ok for now
but in a few months you may get a review of your UC where you have to supply 4 months statement’s

if your getting divorced start the process

people may report you if they think your scamming so don’t tell friends or family

I'm thinking surely DWP will expect the house to be sold and equity ( if any ) divided within a period of time in the same way that if one of a separating couple moved out and claimed UC, they would only disregard the capital tied up in the home for a period of time and as long as steps were being taken to sell. I guess maybe it depends how much equity is in the property and what op could expect to get when sold or bought out.

I know that if say the OP moved out then they would give he a set amount of time that can be extended to sale the house

if for whatever reason she was able to stay in the house they wouldn’t take it into account as capital but she wouldn’t get any help towards the mortgage as such but she could claim for the interest payments I think
but this is done by a charge on the house

Sounds like the mortgage is in ex's name through so unlikely to qualify for SMI.

I lived with my ex after we separated. He had met someone else. I was very much single. It can take a while to find somewhere else to live.

Read the thread. DWP have already said it’s fine. It’s perfectly acceptable to live in the same house after you have split up as long as you can prove you are no longer living together as a couple, and OP will be considered a single person for benefit purposes for a period of time while the divorce and division of assets is sorted. She’s not doing anything wrong.

The DWP have already OK’d it. OP updated a while ago. And there will be a written record of the change on the UC journal.

DWP aren’t interested in whether they eat together - they could be sharing the expense or taking turns to pay.

We tried this with one of their old PAs from school but our LA wouldn’t pay it. They wanted to get their own in…. School said it was absolutely fine for her to have contact with the children outside of school, it was all in place an they stopped it

Haha you’re so right. To many negative nellys!

thank you for ur advice, I think we really need to relook into the Direct payments. They would be a massive help also I’m ontop of everything and everyone is up to date nd in the loop so definitely got my ass covered ! I hope anyway xx

It is all logged on the UC journal of my explanation (same as on here) and their response telling me what to do

Everything is fully seperate appart from I transfer him my half of the bills and I send them individually and fully labeled what each thing is (council tax, gas, electric ETC )
no pictures of us together since a good 8 months ago, and divorce was signed back in Feb from myself, waiting for him to complete his half…. Shall not hold my breath.

I sometimes wonder if comprehension is still standard content in English Language classes...

@Pickledonion1999not in any position to sell unfortunately as it’s fully adapted to 2 children. I did say this earlier in the thread. It’s essential they have access to this so there is no option for the house to go. I now need to find myself a property suitable for us to move to on social housing but they’ve said it can take some time due to the needs and adaptions they would need. But until then we will have to share the home as they are both our kids and this home is built for them? We’ve spent alot of money to do it for them so it makes everyone’s life easier and enjoyable. So it’s not as simple as that unfortunately

@ThreadGuardDogthank you for taking the time to read before you comment and correcting everyone 😂 i appreciate you doing it for me xx

I don’t think it is unfortunately

Or maybe it's just the lack of attention span and focusing long enough to read a whole sentence. Or two.
So often I see comments like
Depends on his age but if in secondary school you could try...
When the OP begins
My 5 year old hates school